As far as we’re concerned, Access Hollywood should have just switched to a fifteen minute delay the second they booked Snooki on their show this morning. Of course she was going to accidentally swear! If anything, we feel reassured by Snooki’s casual cursing on live TV. “Because they’re a–holes. I mean jerks! Sorry!” Snooki cracked when asked why people are “surprised” she’s a good mom to baby Lorenzo. The Jersey Shore star got salty again later while discussing her fears about motherhood. “I was scared that I wasn’t gonna have maternal instincts, ’cause I wasn’t really good with kids before,” she admitted. “So I’m like, s—!’” Was anyone really surprised by any of this? The first season of Snooki & JWoww was basically 22 minutes of bleeping over footage of Jenni picking up hot dog poop!
More over, Snooki was clearly contrite each time she annoyed the censors. “Ugh I’m sorryyyyyyy,” she tweeted in response to a fan’s teasing comment. Personally, this whole debacle just feels right. People who automatically assumed Snooki wouldn’t be able to care for her infant are sort of a-holes. And who didn’t have an s-bomb moment when they first considered the staggering responsibilities of motherhood? Snooki is just keeping it real, ya’ll. Call us when Michelle Obama drops the f-bomb on live TV. Ooooh, or if Hanks does it again!
Only Tom Hanks could drop a filthy f-bomb on Good Morning America and have us find him more endearing. Maybe it’s that mustache? It’s very sweet in a dad way, very Mr. Belvedere on a long weekend. Maybe it’s because we know Hanks was trying to get into character to demonstrate his Cloud Atlas accent for host Elizabeth Vargas? “I want people to buy my f—ing…” Hanks growls. No, it’s because T. Hanks claps his hand over his mouth and bugs his eyes like a scandalized seven-year-old when he realizes his blunder. Don’t worry, Tom! We’ve heard (and seen) worse on-air celebrity gaffes. 10 of them, to be precise!
Oh angry Avril Lavigne, it’s like we’re in 2002 again, back when you had your wee little ties and Manic Panic-streaked hair and zip-up hoodies…okay, well, maybe not that much has changed since then. That being said, unlike the actions of the skate-pop princess a decade ago, Avril Lavigne swearing at a Tampa Devil Rays game this Saturday was immediately followed by an apology, rather than a lot of silent eye-rolling and heaving sighs like we would have expected. After the crowd started to boo Lavigne during a break caused by a technical difficulty, Avril snarled that such things “f–king happen on a baseball field.” Avril then slammed every door in Tropicana Stadium and screamed for her mom to get out of her room already.
On Sunday, the Rays chided Lavigne’s potty-mouth, saying “The Rays demand profanity-free performances from all of our concert performers and we are extremely disappointed by the language used in last night’s show.” Later Avril apologized for the profanity to the crowd, explaining, “We just had so much fun tonight and we want to take the tirade out and say thank you to the Tampa Bay Rays! I’m truly sorry if anyone was offended by my language.” Avril then purchased everything in an entire Hot Topic, because girlfriend isn’t that mature.