Sometimes our days are filled with reporting on interesting news stories, salacious scandals and national moments of crisis and culture. And then there are the days like today when we head on over to Us Weekly only to discover them flaunting an Exclusive! Story! about Jessica Simpson farting in a meeting. Ser-i-ous-ly.
We’re not sure what’s more ridiculous – Us making a story out of something we’ve already done like, five times this morning, or the fact that they’ve called it an exclusive. Their brave source who endured J-Simp’s alleged gas blast offered up this riveting take of what went down (or out, rather): “While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart. Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.”
A loud fart! A yelling mom! Extreme tension! Surely even journalists embedded with our troops in Iraq have never experienced a moment so powerful or poignant. Idiotic reporting aside, we’re gonna add this to our list of things we love about Jessica. Unlike most of the chain-smoking, self-important divas roaming around Hollywood these days (we see you, Taylor Momsen), the girl posts videos of herself using ear wax candles on her Twitter account and frequently steps out without makeup, looking lovely. We like that she might have blasted one out in a meeting, and she sounds exactly like the kind of girl we’d like to hang out with over a beer or five (yes, we’re not-so-secretly are on a mission to make Jess our BFF).
Jessica Simpson’s gas – 1, Us Weekly – O.