Television

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Jon Cryer Tells Letterman He Didn’t See Charlie Sheen’s Meltdown Coming

Jon Cryer really must not read his show’s press. Despite Charlie Sheen‘s life-long history of drug abuse, whoring and violence—a history Two And A Half Men was partly based around—the guy’s old co-star swore to David Letterman he had no idea that Charlie was headed for a meltdown. “It’s as much a mystery to me as to everyone, I think,” he explained. “My favorite moment was I got a text from someone, saying, ‘Charlie Sheen just called Thomas Jefferson a —y.’ I said, ‘I think things are getting out of hand.’” And they weren’t when Charlie was 9/11 truthing and attacking his wife with a knife after a drug crazed night in Aspen? People should text Jon more often.

Despite Charlie slandering the author our nation’s constitution, Jon says he’s still got plenty of love for the guy. “I love him, he’s a great friend,” he said. “All of us, none of us wanted to continue with the show if we felt like it was hurting him, and there was a point at which, we felt like, there’s no control over him.” Maybe he’s just saying these things because he doesn’t want Charlie to hurt him.

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Laurence Fishburne Leaving CSI Despite Plot Cliffhanger

Unresolved plot threads? Sounds like a problem for someone who gives a crap! Laurence Fishburne is leaving CSI, according to Deadline, despite the opportunity to renew his contract. The Matrix actor joined the cast in 2008, following the departure of long time lead William Petersen. Fishburne has two high profile movies, Thurgood and Contagion, planned for release this year. Coincidentally, Law & Order SVU lead Christopher Meloni also decided to not to return to his hit crime procedural for the 2011-2012 season.

While the site’s source doesn’t sound shocked, “nobody expected him to be on the show for 7 years, it’s Laurence Fishburne,” they obviously didn’t see it coming when they filmed last season’s finale, in which his character murders a serial killer in cold blood. Apparently any resolution to that plot will have to happen off screen, presumably with his Ray Langston being sent to the slammer unseen. Hopefuly CBS will remember this lesson with Ashton Kutcher—Charlie may have been on a plane to Paris at the end of last season, but Two And A Half Men can’t hope to be so lucky again.

[Photo: CBS]

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Simon Cowell Says He Was “Protecting” Cheryl Cole By Kicking Her Off X-Factor

It probably shouldn’t be a surprise that Simon Cowell‘s public apology after firing Cheryl Cole from the American X Factor is more than a little condescending. Turns out he was “protecting” the Girls Aloud singer by ejecting her from the judges’ table weeks into her first big stateside gig, after three years of judging on the British show. “I’m sorry. I hope we’re still close friends,” he told The Sun. “She’s still a star. The hardest thing to accept is that everyone has painted me as a monster because I embarrassed her. But the truth was I was protecting her. I just want people to be in the best place at the right time.” Apparently, that place was not America, and not anywhere near Paula Abdul.

While he admits Cole told him she was upset, Cowell appears to be showing his usual brusque manner over the slight. “‘This was never personal or saying you were terrible’. It wasn’t that she was terrible—she was good. I just thought she’d be happier in the UK. We noticed she was quieter than normal. The feeling was that she was slightly out of her comfort zone in America. The intention was to do it quietly and say to her she had an option to rejoin the UK show. At the end of the day we were saying, ‘Move to another show for even more money’. There was an offer of around £2.5million on the table including bonuses. How is that sacking someone?” With Cole’s friends claiming she only tried the American show as a favor to Cowell in the first place, it seems unlikely his claims of concern will dismiss the bad buzz following her exit. Will America be turned off by the firing of a celebrity they never really knew in the first place?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Paris Hilton Furious After New Reality Show Flops

Paris Hilton was in Barcelona over the weekend to support her motorcycle racing team—and she might want to consider staying there. Her premiere of her new Oxygen reality show, The World According To Paris, scored almost half the audience that Aubrey O’Day managed for her debut, and could signal the end of Paris being famous for anything remotely other than being famous. “She hasn’t been able to sell a magazine cover since the Kardashians arrived,” a source told PopEater. “If the numbers remain less then the 400,000 that tuned in last week she could get pulled off the air.” While later episodes are expected to feature more of Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife Brooke Mueller—a friend of Paris (or at least Paris’ mom)—it seems unlikely the show could be a slow burner. With Paris, it’s either hot or not.

Unsurprisingly, Hilton is playing the blame game, allegedly accusing a technical glitch of keeping the show from running on time in many markets (something Oxygen denies). So far Paris’ promotional activities has been a bust, with a lecture from Barbara Walters inspiring her to cancel some events last week and CNN’s Anderson Cooper knocking her on his “Ridiculist” days after she appeared on Piers Morgan’s show on the same network. “”She has been replaced by Teen Moms and Snooki,” a marketing exec told PopEater. “She would have been better off not doing a new reality show at all then doing one that proves no one cares.” There’s always international reality shows, Paris…

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Cheryl Cole Still Getting Her $1.5 Million After Leaving X-Factor

Cheryl Cole‘s sudden exit from the American X Factor may have been embarrassing for the UK singer—crossing over stateside without the platform will take some work—but it’s not like the cloud doesn’t have a silver lining. The Hollywood Reporter claims Cole will still get her $1.5 million paycheck in full, despite the fact she probably won’t appear in a single episode. That’s one hell of a severance package…and she doesn’t have to pretend she gets along with Paula Abdul!

Though it was rumored that Simon Cowell fired Cheryl from the UK show as well, it now sounds like the producers would like to keep her on the British program and that her anger at Cowell over the American slight that’s keeping her from returning. But, assuming she’s been paid off, Fox can let folks overseas worry about that, and focus on the bigger problem: turning X Factor into a hit stateside while competing with NBC’s The Voice and their own network’s American Idol for the title of Most Important Singing Competiton On TV.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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The First Annual Critics’ Choice Television Awards Nominees Announced!

The First Annual Critics’ Choice Television Awards nominations are out, and we’ve got the scoop for you below. Cat Deeley is set to host the awards show, which will take place at a luncheon at the Beverly Hills Hotel on June 20, 2011. ABC leads the pack with 16 nods, with their hit Modern Family being the most nominated show. Check out the list below!

Best Drama Series

Boardwalk Empire – HBO
Dexter – Showtime
Friday Night Lights – DirecTV
Fringe – Fox
Game of Thrones – HBO
The Good Wife – CBS
Justified – FX
The Killing – AMC
Mad Men – AMC
The Walking Dead – AMC

Read more…

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Report: “Uncle Charlie” May Leave Two And A Half Men For Paris

If you were among the proud who watched the few post-meltdown episodes of Two And A Half Men last season, you may remember that Charlie Sheen’s last scene involved him leaving for a plane to Paris. According to TMZ, while the producers didn’t plan to make his trip a key plot point, they’re happy to use it now that Sheen has been fired from the show and replaced by Ashton Kutcher. Apparently they didn’t cotton to Sheen’s “suicide” suggestion.

Dismissing any hope that Uncle Charlie’s flight would suffer a violent tragedy—sure Valerie Hogan and Maude Flanders were killed off on The Hogan Family and The Simpsons respectively, but the shows didn’t blow up entire planes to do it—show sources told TMZ that Charlie may simply decide to live in Paris with Melanie Lynskey‘s Rose, leaving the other Harper boys with a vacancy in their apartment perfect for a wacky young man like Ashton. Gee, you’d almost think they planned this—except the real Uncle Charlie might be outside the studio with a bullhorn and a machete when they start filming.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Lifetime To Celebrate “Contemporary Women” With A Nude Heidi Klum

Could anything suggest how women have advanced over the years more than a naked Victoria’s Secret model? Not according to Nancy Dubuc, president of the Lifetime. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the network’s new honcho announced that Project Runway‘s ninth season would be promoted by a nude image of host Heidi Klum, which would be ironic even if Dubuc wasn’t using the campaign as an example of how Lifetime will reach out to modern women, who apparently see the network as old and stodgy—and would prefer their fellow ladies to be hot and nude.

Dubuc, speaking at Real Screen’s Factual Entertainment Forum yesterday, reportedly told the audience that she was moving Lifetime away from “women in peril” programming to focus on “brazen, strong, confident and sexy” examples of the “contemporary women.” And if such women happen to flesh-baring supermodels? Well, then everybody’s happy! “It’s Heidi F—in’ Klum,” said the network head. Maybe next season they can hawk the fashion design show with photos of Heidi Klum f—in’!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Jane Lynch To Host The 2011 Emmys

If you thought the 2011 Emmy Awards might feature fewer Glee references than last year’s, you are sorely mistaken. Fox announced that comedienne Jane Lynch, best known for playing coach Sue Sylvester on the hit show, will host the ceremony this September. “Jane was my first—and only—choice as the host for this year’s Primetime Emmys, and I am glad she said ‘yes,’ said executive producer Mark Burnett in a statement. “I am tickled pink to be hosting,” said Lynch. “I’m looking forward to singing, dancing and sporting my finest tracksuit.” Yup, there ya go.

On top of performing with her Glee co-stars and host Jimmy Fallon as part of last year’s opening number, Lynch took home Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy (coincidentally, 2009 host Neil Patrick Harris won an Oustanding Guest Actor In A Comedy trophy last year for his Glee appearance). The nominations have yet to be announced, but we wouldn’t be shocked if she gets another shot at a trophy this year, too. Lynch is the first woman to host the show alone since Ellen DeGeneres last hosted in 2005, though Heidi Klum was one of the five hosts in 2008.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Patrick Dempsey Changes Mind On Leaving Grey’s Anatomy…Or Does He?

Patrick Dempsey is indecisive like a fox. A day after he was quoted telling Italian Vanity Fair that he was done with Grey’s Anatomy after its eighth season (“It’s gonna be my last. I do not know what’s going to happen to the other characters, but for me it’s done…I can’t see me doing it anymore”), a rep has come forward to explain he was totally misunderstood. “He was referring to the fact that his contract is up at the end of next season,” said the lackey, “and we have no idea what the future holds.” Yeah. Right. “It’s done…I can’t see me doing it anymore” is totally the same thing as “who knows what tomorrow may bring?” Uh huh.

It’s not like this wishy-washiness could backfire on Dempsey: either he leaves with eight years of cash and raised profile, or he stays for another season with guarantee of even more cash. With most of the original cast’s contracts up in the air, creator Shonda Rimes—who told TV Line she’s treating this season as the last—is someone whose “you never know” we actually believe. “Everybody has an individual choice to make and I get that…All the originals are in play.” And with Dempsey refusing to commit either way, it sure sounds like this will be all about pay.

[Photo: Getty Images]