Television

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#38: Michael Richards Loses It On Stage

You know you’re in serious trouble when Reverend Al Sharpton rejects your apology and says you need to do more than just say “sorry.” That’s what happened after Michael Richards (aka “Kramer” from Seinfeld) spewed an n-word-filled tirade at some black hecklers at an LA comedy club in 2006.

Video of Richards’s bizarro meltdown, which opened with a reference to lynching, was captured on a cell phone camera and promptly beamed across the internet. Highlights include:

• “Fifty years ago, we’d have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass.”
• “Throw his ass out. He’s a nigger. He’s a nigger. He’s a nigger.”
• And: “That’s what happens when you interrupt the white man.”

Richards was probably lucky the club’s patrons were armed only with cell phones, although he might have preferred receiving a deadly beatdown to what followed: Richards instantly went from universally loved (as Kramer) to almost unanimously vilified (as a racist, washed-up, talentless comedian). The incident now permanently resides in the pop lexicon, having been lampooned on both South Park and Family Guy — twice. — Tony Carbone

by (@katespencer)

#27: Paula Abdul Boinks American Idol Contestant

It wasn’t enough for ’80s pop star Paula Abdul to act a little loopy while serving as an American Idol judge. She had to go and boink a contestant (allegedly), revealing a darker, X-rated side to the family-friendly singing contest.

Two years after Corey Clark was kicked off the show for failing to reveal his legal rap sheet, the 24-year-old former contestant came forward to claim that he engaged in a “secret affair” with the 42-year-old Abdul. In an interview with the super-shady tabloid The Globe in May 2005, Corey provided voicemails from Paula as proof, accused her of seducing him in her guest room, and claimed she offered to fund his career to the tune of $2 million. According to the rag, the former Laker girl told the wannabee singer that she “wanted to look out for him and be his ‘special friend,’” but advised him, “Don’t screw me or you’ll be sorry.”

Corey continued to disobey Paula, dishing to Primetime Live about their supposed affair, conveniently coming forward right when his album and e-book were set to drop. All Paula would say is, “Not only do I never lie, I never respond to lies.” FOX defended their celebrity judge, and their internal investigation concluded that “no evidence was uncovered to resolve the conflicts in their accounts.”

While Corey faded into Idol-reject obscurity, Paula stayed on the show to make headlines again in 2007 when she appeared on a local news show giggling and slurring her words. She came forward with yet another denial, asserting, “I’ve never been drunk.”

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#13: Kanye West: ‘George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People’

Kanye West usually engages his mouth before his brain. Case in point: A recent negative review of his live show prompted a blog rant the likes of which hadn’t been seen since Courtney Love bought an iMac. But the “Stronger” rapper spoke truth to power when he publicly dissed George Bush during a 2005 benefit for Hurricane Katrina victims.

“I hate the way they portray us in the media,” he blurted to the camera, referring to the media at large. “You see a black family, it says, ‘They’re looting.’ You see a white family, it says, ‘They’re looking for food.’ … America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible.”

As addled co-presenter Mike Myers did his impression of Bambi in the headlights, West brought it home: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Cue dead air. — Charles Bottomley

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: The Attack Of The Hot Hollywood Clones

Zac Efron and Chace Crawford are basically the same exact dude with two different, douchey names. [BWE.tv]

Katie Holmes was allowed out of her robot cage to steal Lindsay’s leggings and rehearse her new Broadway show. [DListed]

Whoever believes that babies don’t come from storks hasn’t seen Nicole Kidman‘s post-pregnancy bod. Did she botox her bump away? [Seriously? OMG!]

Justin Timberlake might host the Oscars. We have a feeling Britney Spears will be watching Seinfeld reruns that night. [ICYDK]

Kate Hudson still likes hanging out with her long-haired kid. [PopSugar]

Lil Kim got drunk for her birthday. The Queen B loves booze. [Bossip]

by (@katespencer)

Kids Dress Like Adults At Teen Choice Awards

The teen clones were out in full force last night at the Teen Choice Awards, contorting their legs into weird poses and grabbing at their hips to see just how damn bony they really are. Also, peace is in this year!

Unfortunately, our celebrity kiddie pool wasted this opportunity to dress like the reckless, rebellious, fad-loving followers that they are and instead went for a look way beyond their years. Cute mini-dresses were in, Paris Hilton skank suits of yesteryear were sadly out. Also, Gossip Girls star Ed Westwick wore a man scarf. Nothing says Teen Choice like choosing to dress like a newly divorced 35-year old mom desperate to meet some hot arse at her local ladies night. We’re talking about you, Ed.

by (@katespencer)

Medical Report: Morgan Freeman Hospitalized, Christina’s Cancer, Bernie Battling Pneumonia

They may make millions, but celebrities still suffer health scares just like everyone else. Here’s the latest Hollywood hospital visits on our radar:

1. Morgan Freeman is in serious condition after a car accident in Mississippi on Sunday in which his vehicle flipped and jaws of life had to be used to remove him. He’s currently being treated for a broken arm and a broken shoulder.

2. Christina Applegate has breast cancer, but it’s totally treatable and in the early stages. Her mom is also a breast cancer suvivor, and we trust that Kelly Bundy can kick that cancer’s ass.

3. Contrary to rumors alleging his death, Bernie Mac is indeed alive! However he’s “being treated in a Chicago hospital for pneumonia and is expected to make a full recovery,” says his rep. Stop your mourning already, people!

by (@katespencer)

The Best D-Lister Beat Down Ever

Hairspray actress Nikki Blonsky and America’s Next Top Model reject Bianca Golden got into a serious fist fight this weekend, over a couple of seats at a Turks Caicos airport that the Blonskys had covered with their luggage. An all out brawl ensued, and Bianca’s mom landed in intensive care after she “alleged to have been repeatedly kicked and punched all over her body.” Nikki and her father were arrested, and Mr. B remains in jail, on charges of grievous bodily harm. Somehow chance brought the two “stars” together for the sole purpose of beating the sh*t out of each other and possibly ruining each other’s lives forever. All over a few chairs.

In addition to the beat down, Bianca’s family is accusing the Blonskys of dropping some racial slurs and N-bombs after they were asked by the Goldens to move their luggage from the chairs. Nikki’s been spotted in a neck brace, while her dad is still stuck behind bars, hoping someone can spot him the $75,000 to post bail. He even faces an eight year prison sentence, which might teach him not to f*ck with anyone who identifies herself as fierce. Bianca may smile with her eyes, but she fights with her fists! [NYPost]

by (@katespencer)

Tila Snags Lohan’s Ex-Gal, Yahoo! Heir Courtenay Semel

Courtney Semel isn’t a household name (not even after appearing on Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive on E!), but she should be. She’s rumored to have gotten it on with Lindsay Lohan, and up until recently was dating Johnson & Johnson heir Casey Johnson. Semel’s an heir of sorts herself – her dad Terry was the CEO of Yahoo! But it looks like her most recent relationship has ended after a fling this week with Tila Tequila – and we’ve got the pics to prove it! Check ‘em out below – seems like they pair were caught getting a little flirty, huh!?

A source tells Scandalist exclusively that Semel is a notorious playgirl – she even supposedly stole an LA guy’s girlfriend away from him a few years ago. Yahoo! [NYPost]

[Images: Getty]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Seezinz’ Skinz

Flavor of Love 3‘s Seezinz follows the lead of other FOL greats and shows us some skin. Thanks. [Bossip]

Amy Winehouse‘s dad is in denial, and thinks a “friend” spiked his daughter’s drink with the drug ecstasy. And the friend’s name rhymes with Mamy Minemouse. [DListed]

Yes, we are made of stone, but even we cracked at the cuteness of Matthew McConaughey and his baby. [Seriously? OMG!]

These Gossip Girl guys might be getting all LoRonSon on each other. Or maybe we all just wish they were. [WWTDD]

Hef‘s girlfriends look really…plastic. Still. [ONTD]