The nominations for the 33rd annual Razzie Awards were announced late last night, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 lead the nods, with 11 in just 10 categories. Ouch. Not that harsh criticism is anything new to the Twilight community, but it still stings, right? Especially when you see the other movies nominated: They’re either big overblown vehicles for giant movie stars that flopped (Battleship, Total Recall), terrible comedies (That’s My Boy, One for the Money) or obscure movies we totally forgot about (Oogieloves, Atlas Shrugged: Part II). Breaking Dawn, on the other hand, was always meant to be a faithful “love letter” for the fans, not critics and not everyone else who’s obviously not in the target demo.
Should Eddie Murphy’s performance in A Thousand Words be in the same category as Robert Pattinson’s last appearance as Edward? Well, we’re eager to let you guys vent about this one.
Here’s the full list of nominations. The “winners” will be announced on February 23, the day before the Oscars.
As The Avengers kick off summer movie season today with a bang or two (or 100), it’s easy enough to forget that blockbusters aren’t just about men in tights, showing off their massive CGI effects. On some of those sweltering days, you don’t want to step into a theater to worry about the fate of the world; you want to laugh your ass off. We’ve already looked at the ladies doing their part to make the season hilarious, and now it’s time for us to decide which of these sexy funnymen will be the sexiest and funniest at the multiplex from May through August.
This year, we have some double threats — the guys who will make us laugh and fan ourselves: Tom Cruise radiates sex as rock god Stacee Jaxx in Rock of Ages, Matthew McConaughey sells it as strip-club owner Dallas in Magic Mike, and Mark Wahlberg hides it beneath a manchild exterior as John, the guy who tries to let go of his talking teddy bear in Ted. There are also the funny guys we crush on, no matter how goofy their characters, like Russell Brand as the narrator of Rock of Ages and Andy Samberg as Adam Sandler’s unfortunate son in That’s My Boy. There are the comedians we’d kind of like to take home to mom — Ed Norton and Jason Schwartzman in Moonrise Kingdom, Ben Stiller and Jonah Hill in Neighborhood Watch, Steve Carell in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Chris Rock in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell in The Campaign. And then there are the bad boys we’d keep secret about, Vince Vaughn in Neighborhood Watch and Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator.
Sorry, Snow White. Nothing personal, Thor. Of course we still love you, the Batman. We always will. It’s just that when it comes to summer movies, we love a glowering villain as much as we love a virtuous hero. Maybe a little more. Maybe … a lot more.
Luckily for us (and you!), this summer’s films are jam-packed with some of the most malevolent evil characters imaginable, ready to face off against the hottest heroes and heroines from May to August. Tom Hiddleston reprises his Thor role as power-hungry extraterrestrial Loki in this week’s The Avengers, while Flight of the Concords’ Jemaine Clement breaks Will Smith‘s stride as an easy-riding alien by the name of Boris in Men in Black III. Closer to home (and to your childhood nightmares), Queen Charlize Theron goes after Kristen Stewart‘s heart (not in the romantic way) in Snow White and the Huntsman, while Eva Green does the same to Johnny Depp (in both the romantic and evil way?) as smitten witch Angelique Bouchard in Dark Shadows.
Of course, not every memorable villain has to be from another planet or or the fairy-tale realm. Some of them can be regular ol’ criminal masterminds, like Salma Hayek‘s drug kingpin Elena in Savages, Faran Tahir‘s Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Bryan Cranston‘s Vilos Cohaagen in the Total Recall remake and Edward Norton‘s Byer in The Bourne Legacy. We are especially psyched to see Tom Hardy‘s Bane grapple the Caped Crusader in The Dark Knight Rises while Rhys Ifans takes on Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spider-Man. Because what’s an epic battle scene with out an epic villain? A 15-second slap fight?
Not that every villain has to be locked in life-or-death combat, mind you. Some of them are just maniacally vain. Sacha Baron Cohen‘s General Aladeen in The Dictator, anyone? Catherine Zeta-Jones‘ high-strung Patricia Whitmore will also be inflicting all the damage she can against the demon that is rock in Rock of Ages, while Adam Sandler only accidentally ruins his son Andy Samberg‘s wedding/marriage/life. That being said, if you somehow get your only child to throw up on his fiance’s wedding dress … yeah, you’re the bad guy.
Finally, we have to give props to those villains who don’t even come in a humanoid package. We are dying to see what the surprisingly awesome-looking Battleship aliens look like under their masks (Weird eyes? Check! Four-fingered hand? Check!), and we’re all ready to take our hats off to the Piranhas 3DD piranhas. Not only are they blood-thirsty, they are also responsible for Ving Rhames‘ character having machine gun legs. What aren’t villains good for? Which big bad has your ticket-buying hands shaking with anticipation this summer? Check out our gallery of villainy, and cast your vote. Just remember: When it comes to picking a favorite archnemesis, there is no wrong choice.