We don’t watch reality shows for the sweet characters. The do-gooders, the faithful wives, the lifelong friends who don’t leap across tables to rip each other’s throats out. No, it’s all about the villains! Now, it’s a reality show standard to have a wild card (or two) on each show. Hair-pulling, backstabbing, boyfriend-stealing, tacky tantrums, blatant bullying…this is what the genre is made of!
And the best villains know that the shows depend on them. If they really channel their inner lunatic, these characters can land endorsement deals, book contracts, or, like Real Housewives of Atlanta star Nene Leakes (a reformed villain), they can even score a role on a legit scripted show — hello, Glee.
In 2013, the reality genre experienced a villain boom. Dance Mom’s Abby Lee Miller was like a witch out of a Grimm’s fairy tale, cackling as she tortured the hell out of her dance school students. Love & Hip Hop’s Peter Gunz seemed cool enough, but then we discovered his schizophrenic love life — five babymamas, a secret wife and a girlfriend! Here, we salute the craziest reality cast members of the year.
It looks like The Bachelor is going to the chapel! Sean Lowe, star of The Bachelor and Dancing With the Stars, calls The Gossip Tablefrom the green room of Good Morning America (our neighbors across the street) to talk about his relationship with Catherine Giudici. Lowe tells Chloe Melas that the two are thinking about having a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. Additionally, Lowe wants the wedding to be televised.
But what about the guest list? Giudici is likely to invite a few former contestants from their season of the show. You know, the ones that Lowe passed over. And Lowe wants his dance partner from DWTS to choregraph the couple’s first dance.
Next up: Tiger Woods’ mistress Rachel Uchitel is getting divorced. Melas has the scoop!
RadarOnline is reporting that mega swim hunk, Ryan Lochte‘s people are gunning for $750,000 for him to be on The Bachelor. We all know that the show’s been on his wishlist as part of his post-Olympic popularity plan. But sources claim that his team may just up that figure to $1 million, should ABC show real interest in Lochte being on the series, revealing, “Ryan’s agents are getting besieged with offers and deals, everything from The Bachelor, his own reality show, and some overseas movies.” As of now, the show seems to be high on his list of priorities, but only if he gets the cash money, with the sources explaining, “Ryan is acutely aware that he has to attach himself to the right projects and endorsements that won’t do damage to his all American image. As much as he’d like to do it, Ryan does have some reservations about The Bachelor because he wouldn’t have any control on how he is portrayed on the show.”
We think the show needs to cough up the money and sign Ryan ASAP for a number of reasons. The top 3 of those very pressing reasons are as follows.
1. Ryan is the gift that keeps on giving. And the biggest gift he’s given us is his budding bromance with our one true love, Prince Harry. In news that’s almost too much for us to handle, Ryan and Harry heated up the pool (with their hotness) at the Wynn hotel’s XS Nightclub, in Vegas around 3 am. Harry jumped in fully clothed, but we’ll take what we can get. Of course, they were surrounded by ladies, and Ryan even gave a headstart to Harry in a spur-of-the-moment breaststroke race — Ryan won, duh. But the two hugged afterwards like they were BFF — or “Bro Friends Forever.” This makes us happy. Just give Lochte The Bachelor, goddamit. He deserves it. Read more…
After her engagement to The Bachelor star Brad Womack came to a speedy end last year, we wouldn’t have blamed Emily Maynard for swearing off dating shows forever. At the time, the single mom told People that she wanted to “move on and get back to normal.” But now it looks like the 25-year-old single mom is getting back on the reality wagon once more, by agreeing to star in ABC’s The Bachelorette! Although ABC has remained silent on the matter so far, show producers are reporting that Emily has inked the deal.
The move comes as something of a surprise, considering that she recently seemed against the idea of appearing on the show. Emily was rumored to have turned ABC down last year, and over the summer she straight up tweeted, “I don’t want to be The Bachelorette.” And it’s not like she’s in love with the show’s format. During her Bachelor tenure, she was reportedly very concerned about being a good role model for her 6-year-old daughter, Ricki. She made it clear that her overnight date in the “Fantasy Suite” with Womack only included talking, and at moments she seemed genuinely uncomfortable with the whole selection process.
Congratulations on your engagement … or not. The Bachelor, Brad Womack, and Emily Maynard, the woman he picked to be his bride last night on the show’s season finale, have already broken up, reports PopEater. Someone should maybe tell ABC that their “happy couple” is more happy to be in separate rooms in separate cities. A producer told the website, “Emily is not able to forgive Brad for what she considers cheating week-after-week with other girls.” It can’t really be considered cheating when it’s in front of millions of people and you signed a contract to allow it to happen, can it? By this “retroactive cheating” standard, pretty much everyone in the world is an unfaithful slut.
“It’s always hard sending the couple back into reality after they have been living in paradise, but no one in the history of the show has had as hard a time adjusting as Emily,” the producer continued. “Since they both returned to their normal lives things have been a disaster.” Let’s just hope that things don’t end up as contentious as they were between BachelorJake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi, those two have a mutual hate like no other.
Here’s a reality TV adage: No matter how squeaky clean you try to portray yourself on screen, eventually someone’s going to dig up some dirt on you. Just ask Brad Womack, whose criminal record has been unearthed. The heartbreaking Bachelor has a couple of misdemeanors on his record that alternately made us laugh and say WTF with a Southern twang!
His first arrest happened in 1993, when he was busted in Texas (his home state) for holding a forged driver’s license. Let’s hope he’s ironed that out by now. Imagine Brad (who we all know likes to tell girls they mean the world to him and then dump them down the break-up chute) serenading a girl with police sirens? Classy. But that isn’t the end of his crime record. He’s also been booked for public intoxication (well, he does own bars) and, this being the worst, check fraud. He apparently passed along a bad check! No comment yet from The Bachelor producers, but we think they’re probably scrambling to find a decent explanation for their “ideal man”.
Vienna Girardi and Jake Pavelka of The Bachelor both had plenty of nasty things to say about one another when they broke up. Each accused the other of being a fame-whore and it turns out, they were both right! Sadly though, Vienna’s attempts to stay relevant are failing.
Girardi was turned away from a pre-Emmys party on SaturdayÃ‚Â because she was not on the list.Ã‚Â (It wasn’t even an after party! And it wasn’t even the real Emmy’s!) She was also allegedly wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, which proves the girl has a lot to learn about attending Hollywood parties. She also attempted to sell some photos of her new boyfriendJohn Sala for $50,000 but sadly, no one was biting. A photo director, speaking to PopEater said “Vienna pitched the story and pictures to everyone and was shocked when everyone passed.” To John Sala we must pose the question: what part of any of this sounds healthy to you? Sure, it must be nice to have pictures of yourself valued at $50k. That certainly trumps the “In A Relationship” Facebook status most other new boyfriends get.Ã‚Â But the thing is, um, it’s not real! Do yourself a favor and run far away before you become a casualty of the reality-whore wars.
Ah, young love – so fleeting, so fickle. Especially when it’s created in a studio and hinges on rose ceremonies. It’s with a heavy heart that we report that last season’s stars of The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi have broken up after eight months and a season of Dancing With The Stars together.
Pavelka and Girardi, the subjects of our favorite awkward photo op, are the latest in a long line of failed engagements created by The Bachelor – they are actually the unlucky 13th couple to end their romance, something just about everyone saw coming. Seriously, this show should just be renamed The Temporary, Average Boyfriend And The Girl People Don’t Trust.
Sure, they look like they’re having fun and are in love, we guess, but The Bachelor‘s newly engaged stars, Jake Pavelka and fianceé Vienna Girardi haven’t yet mastered the candid paparazzi photo. Here, Jake manages to look like he’s carrying Vienna to her wheelchair and slooowly loses his grip on her. (We completely understand how horrible that makes us sound, but LOOK at this picture and tell us you don’t see it too.) Practice for when they grow old together, we guess! [Photo: Splash News Online]
Don’t ask us why we’re TiVoing yet another terrible season of “The Bachelor.” We just love watching a bunch of deranged women with a never-ending supply of ballgowns and vague job titles (Marketing executive? Nanny? Please – they’re all wannabe actresses) vie for the opportunity to jerk off a bland, generically good looking robot. So we were devastated when the show got rid of this season’s star psycho-bitch – Rozlyn Papa – at the end of last night’s 2-hour (why!) episode. The bikini model was accused by the show’s host, Chris Harrison, of bangin’ a producer, and was asked to leave right before the rose ceremony. Chris cried, the girls cried, and Jake‘s wiring malfunctioned a bit, allowing him to show a moment of emotion.
It was a soggy sh*tshow, for sure, but without Rozlyn, who’s going to bring the serious drama? We’re already tired of Michelle‘s loony girl shtick, we can’t pay attention to Vienna‘s wacky wedding stories because we’re too distracted by her lazy eye, and the rest of them are so effing dull they made Chicago look X-Rated last night. At least Rozlyn – who seems destined for a role on the “Real Housewives of Orange County” as Gretchen‘s doppelganger – was making some major moves to secure a spot in the final two. That make-out session was H.O.T., and you know Jake was crestfallen for a reason when she left: she was his only “sure thing.” Now he’s gotta waste his time on girls who won’t even kiss him until they’re engaged.
While the whole thing is working out in Rozlyn’s favor (she is milking her 15 seconds, telling Us thatshe wishes she had “gone for it” with her producer/lover), we’re going to miss watching all the girl’s squirm everytime she bounced by in a bikini. Are you watching “The Bachelor” this season? Who are you putting money on to win the whole thing (besides Gia’s boobs)?