The Biggest Loser

by (@hallekiefer)

Biggest Loser’s Jillian Michaels Hawks Lethal Diet Pills, Looks Great In Bike Shorts

jillian-michaels

Jillian Michaels is about to face the wrath of big-boned people everywhere, as the trainer made famous on Biggest Loser faces a class-action lawsuit over her supposedly toxic detox supplement. The suit claims that Michaels’ Triple Process Total Body Detox & Cleanse diet medication is packed with unhealthy chemicals, one of which, Irish moss powder, is allegedly “so toxic that it is the gel commonly applied to aircraft wings to dissolve ice.” And here we thought we were burning calories, not our intestinal lining!

Given that we foolishly trust a whole host of famous people  not to sell us things that make our organs shut down, we started to wonder, what other celebrity-endorsed products can we look forward to killing us? Imagination, take over!

  • Drew Barrymore’s Covergirl Lashblast mascara makes eyelashes so long and full, they get caught in elevator door.
  • William Shatner‘s Priceline Negotiator accidentally books us into the Bates Motel; Cat Deely‘s Pantene Pro-V’s Aqua Light Swisssh hairspray gets in eyes and blinds us, can’t see killer.
  • Shoes from Nike’s Lebron James Collection fall apart; don’t actually kill us, but leave us feeling depressed and abandoned.
  • Take too much of Sally Field‘s osteoporosis medication Boniva; bones become super strong, must become outcast superhero that lives in crystal fortress.
  • Jamie Lee Curtis‘ Activia yogurt works too well, never stop pooping.

[Photo: GettyImages]