The Canyons

by (@hallekiefer)

James Deen Busts Out The Backhanded Compliments For Canyons Costar Lindsay Lohan

James Deen talks about Lindsay Lohan

Whoa, watch out for the backhand on those compliments, boy! You’d think the bad press facing The Canyons star James Deen would be related to his career as a porn star, but this is 2012 and we’re all more mature than that. Mature people can be obsessed with what Lindsay Lohan is like behind the scenes, right? Right. Following in the wake of the New York Times Magazine article This Is What Happens If You Cast Lindsay Lohan In Your Movie, Lilo’s leading man decided to clear up some rumors about Lindsay in The Daily Beast. How nice of him! Let’s see what he had to say…

“She has a unique way of communicating. She’s a child star who’s been living in this fame world being chased by paparazzi,” Deen observed in the interview. Okay, that’s not so bad. That’s certainly true about the child star thing. “She’s been conditioned to say what she needs and then someone will bring it to her, so I can see why people would consider her to be a train wreck or a bitch or whatever, but her intentions are fine,” James added. Wait one minute…is he just trying to confirm all those horrible rumors?

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by (@hallekiefer)

What’s More Depressing? Lindsay Lohan’s New Canyons Clip Or Her Liz & Dick Costar’s Comments?

It’s a trick question! They’re both depressing, not to mention terrifically gauche! After reading that bonkers New York Times Magazine article about the film last week, we were all set to see Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons. (Though…is it even going to be released in theaters? It seems more like The Room than, say, The Sessions.) We liked the idea that Canyons would be be a campy bit of noir, but we are out after seeing the movie’s most recent clip. We have absolutely no interest in seeing anyone shove Lindsay Lohan to the ground and scream insults in her face. Could we honestly follow Lindsay’s sad, tumultuous off-screen life, and then be entertained watching costar James Deen physical and emotionally berate her onscreen? Nope! Oh, and did we mention Lindsay’s extremely labored breathing during most of the clip? Not interested in that darkness, thanks! Call us when they make Freaky Friday 2 and we’ll be the first in line, guaranteed!

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by (@hallekiefer)

The 15 Most Gut-Wrenching Quotes From New York Times Mag‘s Lindsay Lohan Article

Lindsay Lohan New York Times Magazine Article

Wow. As much as we blog about celebrity gossip, rarely do we get a chance to peak behind the veil created by publicists, managers and, well, the stars themselves. It’s only when certain celebrities can’t control themselves do we get a hint at the chaos behind the scenes. While writer Stephen Rodrick doesn’t discuss any of Lindsay Lohan‘s recent emergenices/run-ins with the law in his in-depth article “Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan In Your Movie,” his piece about Lilo’s most recent film The Canyons with director Paul Schrader and co-star James Deen is still fascinating, baffling and, let’s be honest, utterly heart-breaking. The whole thing is worth a read, but we selected the most gasp-inducing moments from the story for you to peruse in the meantime:

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by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay Lohan’s The Canyons Is The New The Room (Or So We Deduce From Its 50s-Style Trailer)

You’re tearing us apart, Lindsay! We’ve never made a movie, let alone a teaser trailer, but the new noir teaser trailer for Lindsay Lohan‘s The Canyons bares a striking resemblance to 2003’s The Room, an erotic thriller directed by Tommy Wiseau and beloved by b-movie fans everywhere. Because it’s so over-the-top terrible. We’re not saying the movies are in any way alike. We’re just saying some of their similarities include:

  1. The dialogue: “No one has a private life anymore, Tara,” James Deen spits. “Hoo boy,” we say out loud at our computer screens.
  2. The actual film: We’re hoping it’s just because the teaser is in black and white, but the Canyons footage itself kind of looks like an episode of Two And A Half Men. Why…why is that?
  3. That one guy’s tank top and that other guy’s backward baseball cap: The costuming looks like they stole several key pieces from the wardrobe department at The Room, aka Tommy Wiseau’s dressing room!
  4. Someone is using a land line: What is this, 2003? The year Tommy Wiseau made The Room?

Honestly, terrible camp might not be a bad route to take when it comes to Lilo’s career. This can be Lindsay’s midnight movie classic, the film she made right before rocking back to the A-list with…um, Lifetime’s Liz & Dick. Okay, so maybe this movie is actually a comedy and we’ll all be pleasantly surprised by how self-aware it is? The “twitter-obsessed” Bret Easton Ellis jib and “never-nominated” credits give us hope. Either way, we’ll all find out soon enough. Thanks a lot. Bye!

by (@shalapitcher)

The Canyons Trailer Gets Caught At Center Of Bret Easton Ellis, Fifty Shades Producer Twitter Feud

How did directors, writers and producers trade heated insults before Twitter? Well, in a way much less entertaining for the rest of us, that’s for sure. We have been particularly entertained by the feud that bubbled up yesterday, when Bret Easton Ellis expressed frustration that Kelly Marcel landed the gig he’d been vying for, writing the screenplay of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Unfortunately — or maybe fortunately — he lobbed this insult just an hour after releasing the teaser trailer for his upcoming movie, The Canyons, starring Lindsay Lohan and James Deen. The sneak peek plays up the campy nature of the movie with the look of a melodrama made in the 1960s. And it was basically placed in the direct line of fire of Fifty Shades producer Dana Brunetti. “@BretEastonEllis Really, Bret? The day you release that ‘trailer’. School film? You’re losing it,” he said in a tweet he then deleted, according to E!. Then Brunetti proceeded to retweet a slew of posts critiquing The Canyons. Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

Read Our Favorite Parts From The Canyons Producer’s Over-The-Top Essay About Lilo

Lindsay Lohan

Ah, but tell us how you really feel. Braxton Pope, producer on Lindsay Lohan‘s most recent film The Canyons, posted an essay about Lilo to the movie’s Facebook page today praising everything from Lindsay’s perfect fact to her “flawless” line reads to her classic style. The whole thing is so complimentary, we’d be inclined to think Lohan paid for the amazing publicity…except Braxton also zings Linday’s driving ability.”So, did I say good? She was actually great. Not that the shoot was without its challenges. Do I want to drive in a car with Lindz?,” Pope writes. “No. No I don’t. Ever.” Hmmm, that part seems to check out. We guess that means the rest of Braxton’s gushing is…true? Take a look at our favorite segments and let us know what you think:

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Lindsay Lohan Makes Film Crew Also Strip While Filming Her Nude Scene For The Canyons

Lindsay Lohan makes film crew strip for her sex scene

Lindsay Lohan has remarkable powers of persuasion. That can be the only explanation for how she got an entire film crew to strip down to the boxers while she was shooting her latest nude sex scene. She doesn’t seemed to have scads of likablility these days, so we have to chalk it up to masterful, Jedi-like powers of debate. The pants went down on the set of The Canyons last week, when the former Playboy centerfold admitted to being uneasy about going topless in front of the crew of ten dudes. To feel better about it all, she asked the moviemakers to strip down too! Someone should tell her that you’re only supposed to imagine the room is full of naked people. Actually doing it is kind of overkill.

According to TMZ, the guys initially dragged their feet a little bit, but they eventually came around. And therein lies the mystery, one which may never be solved. Maybe they were just on a tight deadline. The film costars is adult film star James Deen, so maybe that was his official porn star set advice for getting over first nude-day jitters.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Woody Allen Gushes About “Very Talented,” “Gifted” Lindsay Lohan

Woody Allen Praises Lindsay Lohan

Looks like someone enjoyed Herbie: Fully Loaded just as much as we did. It’s a highly underrated film! Our eyebrows were raised to the very pinnacle of our foreheads last month when Woody Allen was spotted dining out with Lindsay Lohan in New York. Fandango was right not to start issuing tickets to Lindsay Christina Barcelona just yet (despite our fervent emails), because he hasn’t given Lindsay a role. Just heaps and heaps of praise! “No, but I wouldn’t hesitate to use her in a movie because she’s a very talented girl. That was a social dinner,” the director told Access Hollywood at this week’s To Rome With Love premiere. “But as I say, she’s a very gifted girl, and I would not hesitate. If I had something for her, I’d certainly call her.” Call her now! She’s got some spare time! After she wraps up with Lifetime, the woman has nothing but time!

If Lindsay is hoping to score lead role in one of Allen’s upcoming flick, she probably isn’t gunning for a Matchpoint remake. RadarOnline reports that the Liz & Dick actress is hesitating on officially joining Bret Easton Ellis‘s The Canyons due to the film’s mandatory sexiness. “Lindsay would be required to do full frontal nudity, and the sex scenes are very, very graphic,” their source claims. We understand, Lindsay. It’s not like posing for Playboy; it’s….oh wait, it’s actually more awesome and better for your career than Playboy. Sign that contract, girl! Concluded Woody, “If there was some legal reason I couldn’t [cast her], that would be a different story, but it would not concern me personally, no. I think that she’d be just fine and she’d do a great job.” Okay, okay, we know it doesn’t have to be a remake and that would quite honestly be insane but…do you know how great a Lindsay Lohan-lead Sleepers remake would be? Just something to mull over.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@shalapitcher)

Lindsay Lohan’s Next Big Break: Bret Easton Ellis’ The Canyons With Porn Star James Deen

Lindsay Lohan and James Deen set to star in The Canyons

While Lindsay Lohan’s terrible driving (and lying?) is probably undoing any progress those amazing Elizabeth Taylor pics may have earned her in Hollywood, it seems there are still some folks out there willing to give the troubled star a chance. Bret Easton Ellis announced via Twitter last night that she’ll co-star in The Canyons with porn star James Deen. According to, Deen will play Christian, “a trust fund kid, power player and major manipulator, who is a film producer that enjoys filming his own three-way sex sessions,” and Lohan is his girlfriend Tara, a former model who “has sold her pride for the material comforts Christian can provide.” There are two other leads yet to be cast for the erotic thriller about “five 20-somethings’ quest for power, love, sex and success in 2012 Hollywood.”
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