The Girl Next Door

by (@shalapitcher)

Happy 15th Birthday, Boogie Nights! Celebrate With These 15 Non-X-Rated Movies About X-Rated Things

Boogie Nights, Lovelace, The People Vs. Larry Flynt, The Girl Next Door

It’s hard to believe, for us olds anyway, that it’s been 15 whole years since we were first introduced to Mark Wahlberg’s (disappointingly prosthetic) Dirk Diggler in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Boogie Nights. Although, when you think about Wahlberg producing Oscar-nominated movies like The Fighter and Anderson directing serious fare like The Master, it does seem a long time ago that they were making this darkly comic look at the ’70s porn industry. If only Roller Girl Heather Graham had learned how to evolve her career in the same way.

As started to look back at the 1997 flick this week, we realized it’s part of a continued Hollywood tradition of taking advantage of the public’s lust for X-rated stories … that they can pretend to be watching for more, intellectual reasons. From movies about strippers — Flashdance, Striptease, Showgirls, Magic Mike — to “behind-the-porn” flicks like Boogie Nights, Inside Deep Throat and the upcoming biopic Lovelace, these flicks give their sexxxy subjects sad back stories, economic hardships and unfulfilled dreams. And doesn’t that make you feel better about going to the theater to watch really, really attractive people get naked?

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By the way, people, there actually is nothing wrong with watching real porn and/or live exotic dancing, as long as you’re of age. Just so you know.

[Photos: New Line Cinema, Millenium Films, Columbia Pictures, 20th Century Fox]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Crystal Harris Ups Her Skank Cred By Auctioning Engagement Ring From Hef

Here’s one diamond that ain’t forever. TMZ is reporting that Crystal Harris is putting the engagement ring given to her by Hugh Hefner up for auction. This of course follows Crystal breaking up with Hef just days before their wedding, criticizing his bedroom skills in the national press, and generally playing hacky sack with the old man’s heart. So pawning off the ring that he let her keep seems pretty predicable now that we think about it. We’ll be the first to admit that Hugh Hefner isn’t exactly a beacon of fidelity and inter-gender respect, but….damn that’s pretty cold. A source says that the ex-Girl Next Door “couldn’t bear to look at the ring anymore because it brought back bad memories.” Luckily the $23,000-$30,000 that the 3.39 carat rock is expected the fetch at auction should buy enough Cristal to keep those unhappy thoughts at bay.

And hey, speaking of tacky things being put up for auction, the junior-sized Pretty Woman outfit from that infamous episode of Toddlers & Tiaras is being put on the block too. That’s right, the actual outfit that four-year-old Paisley Dickey and her mother Wendy used to creep out the nation can be yours! Even though the winning bidder will almost certainly get their name on some sort of watch list, it’s for a good cause. Wendy Dickey reportedly expresses a desire for the proceeds to go towards the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Wanna hear our wish? It’s for stage moms to stop literally dressing their children up as hookers and pimping them out to reality shows. Just sayin’.

[Photo: Getty Images]