The Hills

by (@katespencer)

Audrina “Dead Eyes” Patridge To Star In New Reality Show

Apparently reality TV-hater Justin Bobby has no influence over his on-again off-again girlfriend. Audrina Patridge, best known for her bringing her probably-silicone boobs, lifeless eyes, and excellent fake interning skills to The Hills, is stepping out on her own two pedicured feet with her own reality show. Cue blank stare from Lauren Conrad…now!

The, uh, actress (?) is partnering with Mark Burnett‘s production company (the Survivor creator who brought us all the magic of bug-eating and starving for millions) to bring us the next installment of her life on camera, after her time on MTV’s hit show ends this spring.

“I wanted to collaborate with the best possible team for my first big project after The Hills,” Patridge told People. “Mark Burnett really understands my vision and I am excited about the concepts we’ve developed that will show people a different side of my life.”

In other words – more boobs, less dead eyes. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@katespencer)

Caught On Tape: Hot Couple Robs Audrina

Audrina Patridge recently released the above tape of the two people she believes robbed her Los Angeles home. While it’s fascinating to watch two people nonchalantly steal from a reality TV star, it’s even more interesting when they’re both really attractive. Topped in trendy hats, the guy and girl captured in this clip look like they should be hanging out with the zombies of The Hills, not robbing one of them.

But, ya know, sexy thieves are like, so LA. Audrina will probably end up dating the dude in the video once he’s caught just to make Justin Bobby jealous.  [via Buzzfeed]

by (@katespencer)

The Hills: Still Alive, But With More Boobs

The cast of The Hills took to the beaches of Hawaii to shoot scenes for their upcoming fifth (how is this humanly possible?!) season. From what we can tell it looks like the same ol’ shizz (staring, expensive bags, fake hair) just on a new, nicer beach and with a bit more boob shots courtesy of everyone’s favorite wonky-eye, Audrina Patridge. More pics of the gang at the beach are below.

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

Guess Who’s Hiding Under That Awful Hat!

We spotted one of Hollywood’s biggest attention whores hiding from the cameras for the first time in her life. The “actress” showed up at the beach to work out with her boyfriend, while decked out in a massive hat more appropriate for a 70 year-old golfers, or a lamp belonging to someone who hates lights.

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Give up? Click below to find out!

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by (@katespencer)

Lo Bosworth: Buy My Birth Control!

Lauren Conrad gets her own fashion line, and her BFF Lauren “Lo” Bosworth gets….birth control. Guess them’s the breaks when you’re the least famous semi-star of The Hills! Lo – who was once the Blair Waldorf of Laguna Beach – has been hired as the face of the Yaz birth control pill, and will hawk the product in Canada only. She’s currently hanging out in our neighbor to the north, dishing on Yaz’s ability to cut out PMS-related headaches and cramps. Also, it prevents pals like Brody Jenner from spreading his douche seed around the Hollywood Hills, but that fact was noticeably absent from her presentation.

“As a ‘Gen Yer’ working in the entertainment industry, I need to be disciplined,” Lo said in a statement released by Bayer, who makes Yaz. “I need to make sure I’m taking care of myself so nothing interrupts my day.” [Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

Audrina Patridge: Hot Hood Ornament

Normally we’re, like, 85% into Audrina Patridge. She’s got the brunette thing going for her, and the bod, of course. But there’s something about her wonky eyes and her Justin Bobby addiction that throws us off. However, last night she used her hard-earned reality TV fame to gain an invite to some Hollywood party, and she looked 100% banging. Her eyes were completely open, and everything else – outfit, hair, blank stare – was on point. Suck it, Lauren Conrad!  [Photo: WireImage]

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by (@katespencer)

Marriage Does A Body Bad


Presenting: Mr. and Mrs. Not Really Married Pratt! Heidi Montag and her sweetie Spencer Pratt showed up at the Road To A Cure gala in Los Angeles last night, and when they weren’t sucking face they were busy flaunting their new wedding bling. We don’t know if it’s just that newlywed glow or a spray tan gone bad, but Heidi’s looking more like a frazzled, aging Palm Beach booze-hound than ever before. The floor length leopard print gown – probably picked up at a Hustler Club yard sale – doesn’t help, and neither do her white claws. Fashion school dropouts beware – this could happen to you! [Photo: FilmMagic]

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by (@katespencer)

Speidi Punks America With Wedding

Scandalist was all ready to rant about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag‘s alleged nuptials, but amazingly Perez Hilton did it for us. We were a bit suspicious of their elopement after reading all the juicy details in Us Weekly (peep the pages here). For example: Heidi just happened to have a gorgeous, white Balenciaga sundress on hand as well as white Christian Louboutins. Coincidence? Obviously not.

That alone left us skeptical, but then we researched – via the interwebs – what a couple needs to do to get married in Mexico. Speidi claimed they got drunk, decided to wed and an hour later tied the knot. Yet to legitimately marry, the pair apparently needed to complete a marriage application and documents notarized by the Mexican consulate, chest x-rays (gotten in Mexico), and blood test results written in Spanish. At what point during that hour did they do all that?

Perez breaks down the pair’s possible motive – money – for the alleged wedding, and estimates that Us Weekly could have paid them tons of dough for the pics and cover story. He also accuses them of staging their big day so that the rag could put them on the cover of their Thanksgiving issue, which stays on newsstands longer and sells well due to holiday travel. America, it looks like we got punk’d. [Photo: Us Weekly]

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by (@katespencer)

Mr. And Mrs. Douchebag Pronounced Man And Wife

So this is why there’s going to be a fifth season of The Hills. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt eloped in Mexico this weekend, uniting their forces of loser-ness into one terrible marriage. The publicity-hungry pair are currently feeding all the details to Perez Hilton and Us Weekly, who will feature the wedding pics on their cover this week. As much as we loathe these two, we can’t wait to ogle over them decked out in virginal white. If you aren’t already gagging, here are the vows Spencer supposedly read to his beloved:

Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.

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