The Real Housewives Of D.C.

by (@missmuttoo)

Weirdo Michaele Salahi Now Has Her Own Doll Out

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The Salahi’s are like super-resistant television roaches. They won’t shrivel up and die, no matter what you spray them with. It’s a particular talent that a few people have for stretching out 15 minutes of fame-whoring until you’re forced to acknowledge their presence.

And whether we like it or not, it works. Why else would Michaele Salahi have her own doll figurine out in the market? Because every young girl dreams of having an anorexic, gate-crashing, Playboy nudie-preening plastic poser to put on her shelf and admire. And its swathed in a red sari, just like the one she wore while infamously at the White House party she wasn’t invited to. So you can fondly (yech!) remember just how she crashed (and hopefully, will burn) into our lives.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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The Salahis’ 15 Minutes Of Fame Might Be Over – Yay!

From the first moment we heard of the White House party crashers, we were sick of them. Michaele and Tareq Salahi‘s ploys for attention have come off more like cries for help, and it was only made worse when they were given a platform for their fake fame when they were cast on The Real Housewives of D.C. The number of times we’ve questioned the couple’s truth-telling abilities have been numerous and we’re just so tired of them. Thankfully, Bravo seems tired of the Salahis too, and they have chosen not to renew the couple’s contract for the next season of RHODC.

It hasn’t actually been confirmed whether or not there will even be a second season of the series, but either way, it means we won’t be seeing these clowns on our TV anymore. (God forbid they pull a Project Runway and find a new home on Lifetime!) A source explains that Half Yard Productions and Bravo are currently looking for a “bitchy replacement” for Michaele should the series continue. We’re not opposed to these reality shows having villainous characters, but these two seem unstable. Heck, even Tim Gunn thinks they’re sociopaths. May they find peace in obscurity, only to be rediscovered when VH1 does a future episode of I Love The 00′s.

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Michaele Salahi Takes Her Fame Whoring To A Whole New Level

There are some “reality” stars that  have clearly spent way too much time trying to stay famous and will do anything to remain in the public eye. (Oh, hello Vienna Girardi, I didn’t see you there.) The worst of the lot, in our opinion, would have to be the Salahis. They’ve parlayed their White House party crashing incident into a spot on The Real Housewives of D.C., and PR fight with Whoopi Goldberg and now, probably most horrifying of all, a fully nude spread in Playboy magazine.

Of course, not Tareq Salahi. He’s not invited to this party (not that that would stop him), Playboy will just be featuring his wife Michaele Salahi in what TMZ calls “full-frontal, birthday suit naked.” Shudder. And not shudder because she’s unattractive or anything, just shudder at the idea of giving this woman any more over-exposure, which she clearly seeks. It worries us that the “crazy one” on the Real Housewives keeps on getting crazier – makes us worry what’s going to happen on the Beverly Hills installment: there’s going to have to be some serious one-upmanship going on to join the Kelly-Danielle-Michaele club.

by (@hallekiefer)

White House Crasher Salahi To Give Part of Dress Proceeds To Charity, Is Only 99% Foul

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Start saving your pennies, everyone! On October 2, a little piece of crazy-person history goes up for auction…and we want to buy it! Real housewife of D.C. Michaele Salahi’s White House-crashing dress will be auctioned off next month by the Potomack company, an all-female auction house. While normally we would chalk this one up as just a crude publicity stunt, Michaele and Tareq Salahi are sending a portion of the sales to the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund, which is…downright decent of them.

Despite the fact that Salahi claimed Whoopi Goldberg slapped her around, lied about being an NFL cheerleader, and is generally loathed by every one of her Real Housewives of D.C. cast mates, donating to a needy cause is always the right thing to do. In fact, this whole situation is giving us an existential crisis. Salahi attempted to bust into the White House …but she’s doing a kind thing. No one should ever buy a dress that belonged to such a raving nut bar…but it’s going to Haiti! We guess if Salahi is willing to do anything for a tiny scrap of fame, she can at least use that fame to get money for people who need it. We never thought we’d say this but…but…Michaele Salahi, we salute you! Ah, the words, they’re like fire in our mouths! [Photos: Getty Images]

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Michaele Salahi’s Co-Stars Starting To Hate Her As Much As Whoopi Does

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So by now you know that these Salahi people are whiny crybabies who are becoming universally loathed, first for being national security risks and second for pissing off the ladies of The View. And it’s all in the name of drumming up publicity for the Real Housewives Of D.C., which premiered last night and which we can’t bring ourselves to watch. Michaele Salahi is slowly inching toward being the Gwen Stefani of this group, and this “Whoopi-Hit-Me-No-She-Didn’t-Gate” is her “Don’t Speak.” She’s overshadowed her castmates one too many times and the show has barely gotten off he ground.

Since this whole View non-troversy began, the rest of the Housewives have been feeling a little left out and they aren’t shy about their feelings. After being interviewed yesterday, it was clear they are not psyched to be associated with Cuckoo-Barbie. Their reactions are slowly leading us to believe that the extensions-pulling antics of the Jersey contingent is nothing – someone on this show is going to get a Diplomat’s license plate to the jugular pretty soon. Here are some quotes that lead us to believe that World War III just may begin at a D.C. country club.

D.C. Housewife Cat Ommanney said “Being associated with her and being around her is pretty toxic and exhausting and I’m really over it.”

Housewife Stacie Turner: “I guess it’s good for ratings…[but] the show really is not ‘The Salahi Show’”

Housewife  Mary Schmift Amons: “We’re so tired of hearing this and talking about this. This is a show about five people, not one couple.”

Amons, again: “Awk-ward! And given what’s happened yesterday on The View it’s now changed the energy completely between the five of us.”

And then there’s Lynda Erikiletian who claimed on The View that Michaele was anorexic and her husband Tareq abused women and threw a drink on her.

Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga- CHOO CHOO! What’s that? Oh, just the sound of a train wreck approaching.