We’re gonna go out on a limb here and say that the Real Housewives women are the worst thing to happen to the institution of marriage since Kim Kardashian. Want proof? OK: Brandi Glanville had a spur of the moment quickie wedding in Las Vegas for reasons that can best be described as “spite.” The Real Housewife of New Jersey star tied the knot with her friend and manager Darin Harvey last weekend in the Spearmint Rhino strip club.
“I’m married again- suuuuuuuck it!” she posted to her twitter, apparently a no-so-veiled dig at her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian, whose affair with singer LeAnn Rimes lead to their divorce in 2009. “Honeymoons with strippers are the best,” she continued. But the next morning her new husband dismissed their union as “a drunken BFF thing” and doesn’t intend to follow through. “I had a crazy Vegas moment,” he wrote on his own twitter feed. “Getting annulled tomorrow,” he says, thus making Brandi a fake housewife once again. Despite this, Brandi calls the whole caper “super fun.”
But Brandi isn’t the only Real Housewife to take a massive “reality show” on matrimony. When appearing on Good Morning America this morning to promote her new book, Kyle Richards defended her views that you shouldn’t tell your significant other if you cheat on them, provided it only happens once. “You get a free pass,” she writes in Life Is Not a Reality Show: Keeping It Real With the Housewife Who Does It All.
Everyone knows that the first few days after the holidays can be a real bummer. But these sexy celebs chased away the post-holiday blues by heading to Miami Beach. And we have to say, seeing them strut their stuff in the surf cheered us up, too! Rihanna, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Mischa Barton and even ex-Nsync’er Lance Bass were spotted soaking up the sun, while Jennifer Lopez cruised the harbor in a yacht with her boyfriend Casper Smart. And that’s just the start! Check out the gallery below to see what other stars helped make Miami Beach even hotter!
It’s nice when like-minded people can form a relationship to support each other through tough times. But it’s hilarious when fellow crazy people who are generally reviled for their behavior applaud one another. Kelly Killoren Bensimon of The Real Housewives Of New York has been called crazy which, if you consider yourself a normal, rational person, is a pretty acceptable label. Danielle Staub of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey has also been called crazy, although her variation is more of the “sometimes-sex-tapey-or-lesbian-or-violent-or-all-three” kind.
You’d think the two women would clash because of their volatile ways, but actually, Bensimon has good things to say about Staub. In a recent interview, Bensimon defended her bridge-and-tunnel counterpart, saying “She was actually quite friendly. . .If Danielle gets her own spinoff, I think thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d be amazing for her. She makes for great TV. SheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s out of the box and has no inhibitions. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not my place to say whether someone has issues or not. I will say she has a lot of fun with what sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s doing. I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know what her real life is like, but I honestly donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think that sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s well matched Ã‚Â against the rest of that cast for that show. Still, she definitely is fun to watch. I love seeing her. She has no limitations and thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s great.”
Is that the polite way to describe what Danielle does? “No limitations”? That’s sweet. From now on, that’s how we’ll refer to people like Mel Gibson and Courtney Love and Charles Manson too. They’re not nuts, they just have no limitations.
As evidenced by the photo above, Danielle Staub literally and figuratively blows in so many ways. (So many ways.) Producers of the Real Housewives of New Jersey are reportedly tired of putting up with her drama and a source close to the show says “If there is a season three, Danielle will not be back.” Ding dong the witch is dead! Or at least not getting her extensions pulled out on TV anymore.
Of course, all reality show villains generally have a second life elsewhere – look no further than Omarosa from The Apprentice, Survivor‘s Jonny Fairplay and, hello, the monster that is Spencer Pratt. They’ve all outlived the shows they were on for better or for worse (okay, just for worse) but they’ve managed to turn their villainy into a career. While Staub has no immediate plans after this season of RHONJ, she told Us Magazine “I’m not even thinking about season 3 right now as I am considering many incredible options that have been presented to me.”
So in the footsteps of Bethenny Frankel before her, there just might be a Danielle Getting Therapy? or Danielle Gets A Visit From Child Services? to come. Unfortunately.
Check your watch – are Danielle Staub‘s fifteen minutes of fame up yet? Because our delicate hearts can’t take any more of her sleaze. Like, for instance, the 48th birthday party she threw for herself at Scores this weekend. Our main problem with this whole sordid affair is that she seems to forget she has kids at home – who’s watching them, her anonymous sex tape partner? And much like her children, her dignity too has long been forgotten, hence all the trashy pictures.
Impossible to say! But when we spoke to disgraced Real Housewives of New Jersey (and recent sex tape) star Danielle Staub at The Sorcerer’s Apprentice red carpet on Tuesday night, that’s exactly what she claimed. “Jillian has a song coming out that actually has Justin Bieber in it,” she told us, before adding that “It’s produced and also written by Lori Michaels and it’s called ‘Whatchu Talkin’ About’.”
Hmmmm. We’re not accusing Staub of lying, exactly, but we do have our doubts that this will actually come to fruition. First of all, why would a huge megastar like Justin Bieber collaborate with a virtual no-name like Jillian Staub? This isn’t like the time when a (washed-up and possibly drugged out) Dallas Austin agreed to sit in a studio with Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak while she awkwardly warbled a few notes in exchange for a huge payday. Second, her claim’s plausability is slightly undermined by the rumors that Staub (the mom, not the daughter) is involved in a same-sex relationship with the songwriter in question.
Speaking of which, VH1 News also asked Staub about her burgeoning relationship with Michaels. See what she told us below.
Oh, for the love of all that’s holy. These Real Housewives Of New Jersey are getting more and more ridiculous every day, what with their bankruptcy, head-wraps, homophobic slurs, and now, a sex tape. Reviled housewife Danielle Staub’s sex tape is all set to be released by Hustler next week and it clocks in at what are sure to be the 75 longest minutes of all of our lives. (Not that we plan to watch! Gross!)
TMZ has obtained stills from the tape which feature a very naked Staub filming her anonymous sex partner and showing off her own gravity-defying assets. (Is it just us, or does Staub bear a striking resemblance to Vanessa, Ariel’s evil rival in The Little Mermaid? Is that a weird connection to make after seeing a woman’s boobs?)
Oh, sex tapes. Why are you so prevalent these days? You used to sabotage careers if anyone was caught with one, now you’re no one if you don’t have one. And while they’re often indiscretions that could mean embarrassment if and when you have kids, in Staub’s case, she already has two kids. Forgive us if we’re being prudes but if there’s one phrase that should never be uttered, it’s “my mom’s sex tape”.
We have no idea what bankrupt Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice was thinking as she arrived to the 4th Annual Ladies’ Night Out benefit yesterday. All we know is that she came to have fun, wear a head wrap and pose next to an ice sculpture of a four-legged horse-or-camel. For more Jersey-fabulous outfits, check out our gallery of the event. Warning: there are a lot of competing prints, tiaras and dangly accessories to wrap your mind around.
We’re anxiously awaiting tonight’s second installment of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion on Bravo, which is sure to be explosive. Craving a taste of the drama? Check out family-obsessed Caroline Manzo‘s breakdown on tonight’s episode. Her target is – as usual – Danielle Staub, who she accuses of doing something horrendous and unforgivable. Internet peeps are guessing that she had an affair with Dina Manzo‘s husband Tommy Manzo (so many Manzos!), but as far as we know, that’s just a surly web rumor. We’ve also heard gossip buzz that Tommy has left Dina for a younger woman. Dina admitted in their VH1 special, My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding, that Tommy has cheated on her before. Think we’ll find out the truth tonight?
In other RHONJ news, Danielle has successfully stopped her sex tape with fugly ex Stephen Zalewski from being released, with a little help from a judge and a restraining order. It’s a good thing the former stripper has experience with the court system.
Check out pics of Tommy and Dina Manzo, Danielle, Caroline and all the Real Housewives of New Jersey in our enormous gallery below.
Heads up, Hollywood! Dina, Teresa, and Caroline from The Real Housewives of New Jersey have made their acting debut! Watch their subtle delivery as they run into each other at their favorite grocery store, Nicholas Markets Foodtown.