The Real Housewives of New York

by (@hallekiefer)

Bethenny Frankel’s Skinnygirl Drinks Yanked By Whole Foods

In case you were wondering how something could be low-cal, alcoholic and all-natural without tasting like rubbing alcohol, the answer is…it can’t. Real Housewives Of New York vet Bethenny Frankel’s Skinnygirl margaritas are off the shelves in Whole Foods, allegedly after the company found out the drinks contained the preservative sodium benzoate, “This product had been offered in about a dozen of Whole Foods Market’s 310 stores. After discovering that it contains a preservative that does not meet our quality standards, we have had to stop selling it,” their spokesperson told E! Online. Frankel fired back, “With all due respect to Whole Foods, we were in a dozen of their stores and have decided not to continue in these stores. They represent an infinitesimal fraction of our business. We are, in fact, the fastest growing spirits brand in the U.S. We were bound to piss someone off and everyone loves to try to tear down a success.” Dang girl, how many of those margs did you have before releasing a statement like that?

In addition to her thin-person booze kerfuffle, Bethenny Frankel defends Bravo over allegations that the network could bear any responsibility in RHoBH‘s Russell Armstrong’s suicide. “It’s preposterous to blame a TV show for someone’s suicide. When the show started filming, I’d heard he wasn’t so kind to his wife. But I know nothing about them,” Frankel told USA Today. Hoo boy. Controversy like this makes us want to stop by Whole Foods and pop open a few….oh wait a minute. Nooooooooooo!

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The Only Things That Matter To Bethenny Frankel Are Her Baby And Her BlackBerry

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Oh, Bethenny Frankel, have you no sense of irony? The former Real Housewife/Star Who Skates posed for a Twitpic yesterday holding her adorable baby, Brynn, and captioned the photo “This is the only thing that matters.” What’s so amazing is that she couldn’t be bothered to get off her BlackBerry to properly pose with her precious cargo. So apparently the only things that really matter are your kid and getting the most out of your rollover minutes.

[Photo: TwitPic]

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Real Housewife Sonja Morgan Files For Bankruptcy

Sonja Morgan

She isn’t really a housewife, but she is really broke. Sonja Morgan of The Real Housewives Of New York is filing for bankruptcy, claiming nearly $20 million dollars in debts. How did this housefrau manage that while tidying the house, you ask? Well, like most homemakers, Morgan has a film production company, and recently had to pay $7 million to Hannibal Pictures when she couldn’t meet John Travolta‘s demands to star int the planned movie Fast Flash To Bang Time (we’re guessing demand #1 was to change the title). She also has been waging divorce proceedings with her unnamed husband—see, she totally was a wife once! She definitely belongs on this show!

Morgan, arrested for DUI last summer, says she plans to recover from her financial drama by using her reality show stardom to launch a clothesline and write a cookbook. Good luck, Sonja! You’re clearly the kind of woman people want to take advice from.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Meet The Newest Real Housewife Of New York

Bye bye, Bethenny Frankel, hello Cindy Barshop. Fellow Real Housewives Of New York star Ramona Singer confirmed to US Magazine today that Barshop, a mother of two and salon owner, will be the newest Housewife with a capital H.

So who exactly is this woman? Only the first name in rich-lady hair removal. (Sorry, Nads!) Barshop owns the Completely Bare salon franchise located in New York and Florida, which focuses on hair removal but also offers Vajazzling and Vatooing, so we’re hoping maybe there will be a crossover episode this season between RHONY and Kathy Griffin‘s show, since Kathy loves getting decorated down there. Remember what we said earlier about how once-great networks have started to dumb themselves down? Um. Bravo might be experiencing a vajazz-pocalypse.

In conducting our expert research on Barshop, we found this YouTube clip of her performing an above-the-waist Vajazzle  (midriff-jazzle?) on a tv host while explaining some of the services her spa offers. We’re assuming this will be the first and last time we ever watch a video clip of her being calm, collected and unperturbed by Kelly Bensimon. Welcome to this crazy club, Cindy.

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Bethenny Frankel Says Goodbye To The Crazies

We knew this day would come, but now it’s official: Bethenny Frankel is leaving The Real Housewives Of New York. The woman already has her own spin-off (although, now that she’s married, what new title will they decide on? Bethenny Buying A Vacation House? Bethenny Is A Mommy? Bethenny Likes Question Marks?), so she doesn’t need the drama of the rest of these harpies.

Frankel decided to quit after season three, saying “Last season was scary and painful…It took all of the joy out of it.” Seriously. Even we felt creeped out after that trip to the Virgin Islands. You can cook us crab cakes any time, Bethenny, we won’t yell at you or push our food around on the plate!

Frankel is obligated to make appearances on at least a few shows during season four though, so we’re not totally rid of her. And if we learned anything from Heather Locklear, it’s that it’s much more intriguing to be a “very special guest” anyway.

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Alex McCord Grows A Pair

Real Housewives Of New York star Alex McCord has fun playing with balls at the BNP Paribas Taste of Tennis event in New York on August 26.

[Photo, ]

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New York-Based Crazy Lady Supports New Jersey-Based Crazy Lady

It’s nice when like-minded people can form a relationship to support each other through tough times. But it’s hilarious when fellow crazy people who are generally reviled for their behavior applaud one another. Kelly Killoren Bensimon of The Real Housewives Of New York has been called crazy which, if you consider yourself a normal, rational person, is a pretty acceptable label. Danielle Staub of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey has also been called crazy, although her variation is more of the “sometimes-sex-tapey-or-lesbian-or-violent-or-all-three” kind.

You’d think the two women would clash because of their volatile ways, but actually, Bensimon has good things to say about Staub. In a recent interview, Bensimon defended her bridge-and-tunnel counterpart, saying “She was actually quite friendly. . .If Danielle gets her own spinoff, I think that’d be amazing for her. She makes for great TV. She’s out of the box and has no inhibitions. It’s not my place to say whether someone has issues or not. I will say she has a lot of fun with what she’s doing. I don’t know what her real life is like, but I honestly don’t think that she’s well matched  against the rest of that cast for that show. Still, she definitely is fun to watch. I love seeing her. She has no limitations and that’s great.”

Is that the polite way to describe what Danielle does? “No limitations”? That’s sweet. From now on, that’s how we’ll refer to people like Mel Gibson and Courtney Love and Charles Manson too. They’re not nuts, they just have no limitations.

[Photos: Getty Images/]

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Battle Of The Abs: Housewife Vs. Werewolf

Twilight‘s resident beefcake Jacob Black may have met his muscular match, and in the least likely of places. Real Housewife of New York Kelly Bensimon posed poolside in the Bahamas today, flaunting werewolf-caliber abs. Though Taylor Lautner has detailed the intensive training for his role as Bella’s buff BFF, good genes are undoubtedly at play. Lautner had washboard ripples pre-puberty, and Bensimon often makes passing comments on RHONY that she’s naturally thin. Tell us the truth McToothy – you’re doing more than running through Manhattan traffic.

Whose got the better abs? The air-headed Housewife or the teen wolf? [Photos: Splash News, Summit Entertainment]

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So This Is Why Ramona Hates Brooklyn

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On last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of NYRamona Singer made a total snob of herself when she kicked and screamed her way across the East River to Brooklyn to help co-housewife Alex McCord plan Brooklyn Fashion Week(end). While any New Yorker knows that some BK neighborhoods are just as nice (and arguably more desirable) than Manhattan, the atrocities on the runway yesterday could make the borough’s biggest advocates cringe.

Moose knuckles, keychain chokers, topiary updos, and mini man purses were featured in yesterday’s horror show. We’re all for avant garde fashion, but these low-budget and over-styled looks make sitting next to crazy-eyed Ramona at a stuffy show in Bryant Park seem like heaven. [Photos: Getty Images]

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Kelly Bensimon Slips Some Nip, Joan Jett Gives Hers A Tug

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Since when did kilts get kinky? At the 8th Annual “Dressed To Kilt” charity fashion show, rocker Joan Jett donned door knockers on her buff bodice while Real Housewife of New York Kelly Bensimon obliviously grinned as her nipples peeked out of her plaid corset. The random smattering of kilted celebs on the runway included Al Roker, Mike Myers, a tightly-corseted Kellie Pickler, Donald Trump Jr., and sexy Marcus Schenkenberg. Anything for a good cause, right guys? [Photo: Getty Images, Splash News]

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Want more wardrobe malfunctions? Check out our Top 40 Naughty Nipple Slips.