This Is 40

by (@hallekiefer)

5 Depressing Marriage Lessons We Learned From Judd Apatow’s This Is 40 Trailer

We don’t know about you, but after watching the This Is 40 trailer, being forever alone is starting to sound pretty tempting. Yahoo released the trailer for Judd Apatow‘s new comedy today, which apparently stars Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd and the self-imposed prison we call domesticity. Seriously, the movie makes having a family look grim.  Now, we’re not married nor do we have kids ourselves (after seeing this trailer, we’re going to go ahead and have our genitals removed prior to being sealed in a cave), but we do feel like we’ve learned a few important lessons about getting hitched from Judd’s new flick already. Lessons like…

  1. It’s not only totally normal for you to fantasize about your spouses death, it’s normal for you to discuss those fantasies with your friends. Feel free to get specific: level of pain, how awesome your second wife will be, etc.
  2. If you hide in the bathroom to escape your horrible family, be sure you actually poop. If not, your spouse will barge in on you and use the lack of poop smell as a reason to steal your belongings.
  3. If you have children, Melissa McCarthy will chew through you.
  4. If your spouse makes you refuse to loan your dad money, he will tell you you were supposed to be terminated in utero.
  5. It is sort of romantic to describe how you would slowly poison your spouse to death over a matter of agonizing months.