Tina Knowles

by (@shalapitcher)

Beyonce Shows Off Slim Figure On Date Night With Jay, Mom And Sis

OK, well, we assume Jay-Z and Beyonce get out for more romantical-type evenings than last night’s outing, but any night out counts as a date night for new parents, right? Bey wore a flattering, body-hugging blue Victoria Beckham dress with matching blue nails and shoes (it’s cheesy, but we love that she’s got a Blue Ivy theme going here) to attend a fundraiser held by Michelle Obama and co-hosted by Robert De Niro at his Greenwich Hotel on Monday night. Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Angela Bassett, Alfre Woodard, Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman were the other big-name guests, per the New York Daily News along with Solange and Tina Knowles. Jay, Beyonce, Solange and Tina were later snapped leaving Tribeca sushi hotspot Nobu.

We can’t get over how skinny the new mamma looks already. Politics and Japanese cuisine sound like very manageable elements of a post-baby diet — much more than hiring a live-in trainer for twice-daily workouts.

View Photo Gallery

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Some Day, Somehow Beyonce Is Going To Learn To Cook, Says Tina Knowles

beyonceandtinasplash

Since we’re all on our way to our families’ house to celebrate Thanksgiving/get grilled about our life choices, it’s sort of reassuring to know that, yes, you could be Beyonce and your mom would still find something to make a comment about. When it comes to her daughter’s accomplishments Tina Knowles could not be more thrilled. Well, she could be a little more thrilled, since according to Tina Knowles, Beyonce can’t cook.

Says Tina, “Cooking is the one thing she hasn’t gotten into. She hasn’t mastered [it], but I’m sure she’ll be a good cook once she makes up her mind.” Yeah, once she makes up her mind to do something important for a change! We for one think Beyonce should just just keep having her personal chef make her meals; he would just be a waste of money if she didn’t. Besides, wouldn’t it be nearly impossible for Bee to cook without knocking one of her 16 Grammys into the sauce pan? Those things must be everywhere!

So is Jay-Z going to have to choke down dry turkey and bland stuffing at a Carter-Knowles dinner this year? Reveals Tina, “They’re actually out of the country, so it’s going to be different, but it’ll be good. They’re getting their own tradition – so we have to let go.” We agree with that Tina. Let go, and let Beyonce eat lasagna or pad thai or whatever other kind of food she herself did not make, in peace. [Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Beyonce’s Parents Might Not Be Getting Divorced, Because Beyonce’s Life Is Perfect

If you needed further proof that Beyonce’s life is perfect and blessed and covered with a thin golden layer of angel kisses…well, you could probably just look at her. Seriously, look at that woman. Good lord. Anyway, for those of you who thought there must be some tiny flaw in the diva’s life, it looks like you’re going to have to eat your words, as rumors abound that Beyonce’s parents are not getting divorced after all.

If you recall, mama Tina Knowles filed for divorce in fall 2009 after finding out that husband Matthew Knowles may have made a future pop superstar with a woman who wasn’t his wife; the baby later proved to be Beyonce’s dad’s, and Tina slapped him with papers a month later. However, sources say that neither party showed up in court in Harris County, Texas yesterday to begin the divorce trial. Which could be a result of their solid gold alarm clocks both failing to work at the same time, but is more likely evidence that they don’t want to actually go through with it…for now. The judge dismissed the case after no one showed, and (we’re assuming) Beyonce stepped back from her crystal ball in heaven and clapped the fairy dust off her hands. Another day’s hard work done.