So, Heidi Klum has clearly been following all the updates about Kate Middleton‘s topless scandal, considering she now needs to pick up some tips about how to handle her own incident. Because Heidi was also sneakily photographed topless, and she’s mad about it. The supermodel was on vacation in the South of France with her bodyguard boyfriend and was blindsided by the fact that pictures from their holiday turned up on various websites. Unfortunately for her, tracing who is responsible is a task as so many different sites have posted the pictures, and sources say her people are currently trying to find the party who is to blame. It’s the Kate story — violation of privacy — since Heidi was also sunbathing at a private chateau in France. And now, the news is that she’s seriously contemplating suing when she finds out who took the photos. Firstly, what is up with the French? They really know how to play dirty! But we hate to say it, because we said it before, there is nothing known as “private” anymore. Celebrities can sue all they want for violations but court cases always happen after the damage is done. The pictures always come out first and the embarrassment doesn’t really go way because a judge pounds his gavel and says so. We’re not saying don’t go get the a—, but we’re saying … c We have a feeling that Heidi’s going to draw the papers soon. If the Duchess can do it, so can she!
[Photos: Splash News Online]
In this day and age, what famous person hasn’t inadvertently shown America their naked parts? Sure, maybe other celebs like Scarlett Johansson and Christina Hendricks had their photos hacked or leaked where as The Newsroom‘s Alison Pill just…accidentally tweeted one to the the entire Internet herself, but the effect is still the same. “Yep. That picture happened. Ugh. My tech issues have now reached new heights, apparently. How a deletion turned into a tweet… Apologies,” the actress explained via Twitter this afternoon…like a boss.
Because isn’t that the correct attitude for a celeb to take after the world sees a private photo, perhaps one intended for her fiance Jay Baruchel? “Oh, my bad. Just naked for a minute. Sorry about that!” This is the Internet, people! We’re all going to have naked photos floating around eventually! Maybe Alison was especially blase about her accidental flash because, as Egotastic points out, she already went topless in 2005’s Dear Wendy. Can the majority of the naked people on the web say as much? We’ve never seen Dear Wendy, but we assume not. We would have heard about a movie where millions upon millions of people took their shirts off.
Paparazzi camera technology is…really startling sometimes. Also startling? Cassie‘s willingness to get completely topless aboard Diddy‘s yacht off the coast of Capri this week. There have to be dozens of butlers and servants bustling around, girl! Then again, we guess if we had a crazy nice body, one of the world’s top five richest rap artists as our boyfriend and access to a superyacht, we’d be a lot less prudish about our semi-nakedness too. Step aboard a superyacht and your top probably just drops right off. Luckily a glass of Moet, $100,000 in cash and a signed photo of Rick Ross suddenly appear in it’s place, so it’s not like you feel bad about it or anything.
Despite the fact they are currently (and probably always) enjoying half-nude vacays, Diddy and Cassie have never formerly acknowledged their relationship. That being said rumors of them dating have been swirling since at least 2008 and, oh right, she’s topless aboard his yacht. Man, how exactly does one get a gig as Diddy’s protege? It seems like a pretty sweet deal. Do you think the members of Danity Kane looks at this photo with a mixture of rage and jealousy, or are they just glad they get to save on sunscreen? Maybe both?
[Photo: Splash News Online]
We know that the interwebz loves a good scandal — heck, we all love a good scandal — but this really was a huge case of false alarm. Mostly, we’ve learned that it’s one of three things that really make people go bananas: a big divorce a la Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, a celebrity sex tape or nude photograph leaks. Yesterday’s sort-of scorcher fell into the last category. A couple of topless photographs, which people thought were of Carly Rae Jepsen, surfaced yesterday, and they quickly did the rounds. We admit the girl looked a bit like the “Call Me Maybe” singer, but on closer look, it totally wasn’t her. But the resemblance was enough for folks, it seems. Take a look at the NSFW photographs here and judge for yourselves. More so, people were abuzz about the fact that the maybe-Carly had pierced nipples!
The singer’s team has kicked into high gear and is putting the gossip firmly to bed. One of Carly’s spokespeople told TMZ, “This is 200% NOT Carly.” Her record label is even going to start handing out cease-and-desists for anyone who still insists that’s her in the pictures. But it really isn’t, guys. It’s a 21-year-old model named Destiny Benedict who herself tweeted, “egotastic being mistaken for carly Rae… Anal maybe?” And if that wasn’t perfectly clear, she also tweeted, “Well I just want to say this Carly Rae is a beautiful girl and i’m honored to have been mistaken as her.” See? Case closed.
[Photo: Getty Images]
It’s gotten to the point that we’ve honestly forgotten what Rihanna looks like wearing a shirt. She probably looks…good? We imagine? Riri looks great not wearing a shirt obviously, which is probably why her Week of Nakedness continues today with photos of her upcoming Esquire UK photo spread. “Ain’t like me, dat bitch too phony,” the singer boasts along with photos of herself clad in black lingerie, whistle and/or military dog tags, which we guess could technically count as 1/50 of a shirt? Maybe? As for her cover photo, RiRi says, “They can say whateva, ima do whatever.” Yeah, we guess “whateva” rarely requires you to wear a turtleneck…
On the other hand, if we had to compare them RiRi’s Esquire pics are downright demure next to those in her nude perfume campaign, posted by her pal Melissa Forde. “I got a big shoot tomorrow for a surprise fragrance for my ladies called… NUDE! Bye bye dreadz, for NOW!” Rihanna tweeted about the pics. “Oh, and clothes,” she added. “Bye bye clothes, for EVER!” Okay, so Rihanna didn’t say actually that last part with words. But she did said it with her totally commitment to nudity. She said it…with her totally topless heart.
When we look at photographs like these, we realize that Kate Upton was probably put on this earth to make the rest of us want to crawl under a rock and sob into our Cheetos. It’ s a very specific kind of karma, but someone’s got to do it. Which is why we can’t understand this. Why would someone as blessed as Kate Upton — don’t kid yourselves guys, God ordained that body — want to hang out with someone as skeezy as Terry Richardson? Wasn’t Cat Daddy enough? We’re still looking at Terry as Quagmire from Family Guy after his very enthusiastic “alright” right after adjusting Upton’s bikini strap in the video. Actually, while we’re asking questions — how does someone like Terry Richardson manages to get someone like Kate Upton to writhe so seductively that Youtube ends up banning their collaborative video? Which is also weird because granted that Kate was wearing the tiniest bikini ever known to mankind, but there was no nudity of any kind.
Which directly leads to our next point. We thought that Kate had paid her dues by posing for Terry in scraps of fabric. But the photographer’s site revealed that the model busting a move for him (and the rest of the world) was just the tip of the iceberg. A new batch of pictures have surfaced on the site of Kate, softly lit and glowing, nearly topless, but not quite. She’s hiding her modesty by crossing her arms over her chest. Not that it still isn’t NSFW, but if there’s anyone worth the risk, it’s Kate. You’re probably heading to the gallery right now to illustrate our point.
[Photos: Terry’s Diary]
Related: Kate Upton “Cat Daddy” Video Ban Makes Us Very Confused About Youtube’s Policies
Kate Upton Teaches Us How To Do The “Cat Daddy” In A Bikini, Makes Us Wish We Were Terry Richardson
Paz De La Huerta has never been one to care what other people think; we all know that. That being said, her new Terry Richardson portraits sort of make us want to rinse our eyes out with hand sanitizer. Now, we know it’s not possible to pose for Uncle Terry without looking a little grimy; the man gets paid big money to make his subjects look like he just surprised them on the toilet. But at least Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga didn’t voluntarily sprawl topless on a dirty park bench for a series of NSFW photos. Get up offa there! There is probably broken class all over that bench! We meant to write “broken glass,” but the typo seemed even more accurate so we are keeping it!
In yet another NSFW photo, Paz smooshes her bare chest onto a store front window. Someone owns that window, Paz, and she or he has to clean it! They don’t need your boob leavings all over it! Girl, you are costarring in the upcoming film 4:44 Last Day on Earth with Willem Dafoe after getting canned from Boardwalk Empire and everyone knows you have a killer body. No need to give yourself ringworm to prove anything, particularly not to us.
[Photo: Terry Richardson’s Tumblr]
Kim Kardashian was up all night tossing and turning, you guys! She tossed and turned so hard, in fact, that her bra just melted right off! Can Ambien help with something like that? “Can’t sleep tonight …” KK tweeted, along with a sexy topless pic:
[Photo: Getty Images/Twitter]