by (@JordanRuntagh)

Chloe Moretz Gives Us Nightmares In New Carrie Trailer

We have to wait until March 15th to see Kimberly Peirce’s remake of  Carrie in it’s full gory glory, but the nightmares will begin as soon as you watch this brand new trailer! Chloe Moretz’s stars as Stephen King’s epically angst-y teen, who sets her town on ablaze with her telekinetic powers after years of abuse at the hands of her classmates. Think “satanic Matilda” and you’ll pretty much have it! Julianne Moore also makes a turn as Carrie’s religious fanatic mother, arguably her scariest role since that time she played Sarah Palin.

Chloe recently tweeted onset photos, and her resemblance to Sissy Spacek in the original is pretty insane. Of course, all that blood definitely helps. The 15-year-old actress discussed her day on set filming the iconic school dance scene. We had the wet blood, and the fire blood, and the dry blood, and all the different types of blood. The people at the front desk were all, ‘Wow, she must have had a really hard day at work.'” Fans of Brian De Palma’s 1976 classic will not be disappointed! Sadly the flick won’t be out in time for this Halloween, but on the upside it’ll be out just in time for prom season…

by (@hallekiefer)

The New Magic Mike Teaser Clip Makes Our Hearts Do Stripper Backflips

The new Magic Mike teaser clip airing today makes us feel like it’s Christmas morning and we’re tearing open our very own copy of Showgirls. We don’t know how we got it or who possibly could have OK’d it, but it’s exactly what we dreamed of. Entertainment Tonight released a promo today to tease the full trailer, which is set to air Wednesday night. While normally we would roll our eyes at a 16 second teaser trailer, it is 16 seconds of sexy cops, shirtless Matthew McConaughey and, of course, Channing Tatum busting out some Step Up-level aerials. This guy’s sexy dancing is no joke. Plus, is he wearing a bullet proof vest? We thought we had felt love before, but this…this is different.

Steven Soderbergh‘s stripper-ific film doesn’t hit theaters until June 29, but it seems like Tatum has already started to promote the movie in earnest. Putting the upcoming trailer and recently released stills aside for a moment, how else do you explain all that enthusiastic public grinding he did with Elton John earlier this month? “You don’t want to know what I have to do to for twenties,” Tatum sighs in the trailer. We do, Channing. We want to know that, and so much more.

by (@hallekiefer)

The American Reunion Trailer: Some Things Just Get Filthier With Age

The gangs all here and they’re to their old disgusting antics in the new red-band American Reunion trailer. In case you aren’t totally sure if you should watch it at work, we’d say consider it NSFW unless your boss happens to be Stifler’s Mom. And if she is, congratulations! She is one special lady.

While there’s no sign of any pie (yet!), we do get a sneak peak at some filthy highjinks involving a tube sock and a shower head. We also get to meet an adorable toddler, who is going to need years of psychotherapy to deal with having Alyson Hannigan and Jason Biggs as his parents. So, since you’ve probably seen the original American Pie, are you planning to RSVP for the Reunion?

by (@hallekiefer)

Pixar Has A Brave New Heroine, Toy Story 4 In The Works

They went from toys to cars to forgetful fish; the next step was clearly Scottish royalty. Pixar’s Brave teaser trailer follows the adventures of Princess Merida (voiced by Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2‘s Kelly MacDonald), a headstrong tomboy who’s adventures inevitably end up endangering her kingdom. A little bit of Mulan, a little dash of Little Mermaid and a big scoop of The Incredibles: Brave might not be Disney, but she sounds like the next in the very prestigious princess tradition.

In other good news for children, both inner and standard issue, Pixar is also primed to bring back Woody and the gang for Toy Story 4. When asked about a potential fourth in an interview, Tom Hanks told the BBC, “I think there will be, yeah. I think they’re working on it now.” The cast is currently starring in the shore Hawaiian Vacation airing before Cars 2; a second short is being planned to air before The Muppets, which will be just enough time for us to forget all about Cars 2.

by (@hallekiefer)

Keira Knightley, Michael Fassbender Get Freudian In A Dangerous Method

If you thought your Intro To Psych was profoundly boring, clearly your instructor didn’t focus nearly enough on the soaking wet nightgowns, spankings and general sexual intrigue of the field. It turns out, the beginnings of psychotherapy weren’t all about smoking jackets and faulty scientific method; they were basically an erotic thriller written by David Cronenberg, as we can clearly see demonstrated by Keira Knightley and X-Men: First Class star Michael Fassbender in the upcoming A Dangerous Method. Fassbender stars as a super hot Dr. Carl Jung, student of Viggo Mortensen‘s historically inaccurate megababe Sigmund Freud, as the good doctor attempts to cure sexy mental patient Sabina Spielrein, played by Knightley, thus giving birth to modern, smoking hot psychoanalysis. The unsound, potentially harmful treatment of psychological illness has never looked so steamy!

by (@hallekiefer)

The Muppets Trailer Will Have Your Inner Child Crying Like A Baby

Well, they aren’t quite mops, and they aren’t quite puppets, but man. While The Muppets Green Lantern, Hangover and rom-com trailers were a winsome little intro to the upcoming movie, The Muppets official trailer focuses on the familiar cloth faces that used to have your inner child hyperventilating in front of the TV. Oh, and lots of karate chops to the throat. The perfect amount of throat chops. We don’t want to get too excited only to be disappointed (Alvin and the Chipmunks, we’re looking directly at you here), but based on the trailer, we’d say Jason Segal, Amy Adams and director James Bobin might have taken a precious part of our childhood (or your parents’ childhood, if you have no idea what would be so great that pig in a skirt suit)(answer: everything) and somehow managed to update it without ruining it. HI-YA!

by (@hallekiefer)

The Full Breaking Dawn Trailer Has Us RSVP-ing Our Pants

We set up a little cot near the mailbox, because clearly our invitation to the Swan-Cullen wedding is on the way. After months of examining Breaking Dawn set photos with a microscope and dyeing our shoes to match our tasteful yet summery bridesmaid’s dress, we are pleased to see the Breaking Dawn trailer delivers. In addition to offering a glimpse of the Cullen-Swan nuptials (which we are planning on re-creating down to the last folding chair for our own wedding), we also get an eyeball of all the shirtless Taylor Lautner, window-frame-gouging sex and preternaturally mature vampire zygotes your brain can withstand. We’re pretty sure this is going to make the Royal wedding look like a stodgy, werewolf snooze-a-thon. We can’t wait! Oh, here comes the mailman now. We’ll have to apologize later for all our deafening shrieks!

by (@hallekiefer)

X-Men: First Class Review: Xavier’s Kids Graduate With Honors

When the weather gets hot, sometimes all you want to do is hide a Cherry Coke in your purse (or man-bag; I don’t discriminate), sit down in an air-conditioned movie theater, and watch a big, flashy, over-the-top action movie. Alternately genius and goofy, carefully crafted and dripping with molten cheese, X-Men: First Class gets an A- for honoring the big budget summer movie tradition, and is worth seeing even if you don’t know Azazel from Angel Salvatore (don’t worry; I had no idea who they were either).

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by (@hallekiefer)

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Trailer Has Us Feeling Bad Already

Note: do not see this movie with your family for the holidays, even if it does comes out December 21, unless you want to make your time with your in-laws even more uncomfortable. Like, everyone-avoiding-eye-contact, change-your-flight-home uncomfortable. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo trailer boasts that it’s” the feel bad movie of Christmas,” and anyone who’s seen the original Swedish version of the dark, hyperviolent mystery, or read the books, know they are not joking around. Rooney Mara replaces Swedish actress Noomi Rapace as heroine Lisbeth Salander, who must go up against ex-Nazis, suspected murderers and home-grown creeps of every variety alongside Daniel Craig‘s ruggedly handsome journalist Mikael Blomkvist. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo red band trailer leaked over the weekend; watch it if you need anymore convincing that your Memaw and Pepaw do not need to be dragged out through the snow and to the theater to see it with you.

by (@hallekiefer)

The Old Spice Guy Is The Superhero Your Superhero Could Smell Like

Sweet Christmas! As the Old Spice Guy Luke Cage trailer attests, Isaiah Mustafa can do more than just sit on a horse and have his clothes magically whisked off his body while seducing you with his eyes (though he can also do all of those things extremely well). He can also punch through a wall, survive a medical experiment that gives him superhuman strength and, well, okay, seduce a woman with his eyes. Gotta play to his audience. As if that wasn’t enough to convince you, Mustafa made the trailer himself as a bid to be cast as the Marvel ex con-turned-crime fighter, one of the first African-American superheros to garner his own comic books series.

The Isaiah Mustafa Luke Cage casting idea isn’t a new idea; Mustafa himself approached Marvel with the idea, though rumors suggest Jamie Foxx and Tyrese are currently in the running for the lead. As Mustafa told comic book news site Superhero Hype, Marvel has “really developed the African-American characters. Luke Cage has a lot going on. He’s this man, he’s got all these powers and abilities and he can use them to save whatever major city, but instead of doing that he uses them to help Harlem. He wants to fix his neighborhood, and that’s what’s so admirable to me. Instead of leaving and going someplace bigger, he stays right where he needs to be and tries to do the best that they can.” We want two tickets to that thing we like, and the thing we like is this movie.