Trailers

by (@hallekiefer)

Cowboys And Aliens Are The Peanut Butter And Chocolate Of Action Flicks

We know what you’re thinking: cowboys fighting aliens? However, the same thing must have been said of the first person who mixed chocolate and peanut butter together. Now we have Reese’s peanut butter cups, and the world would cease to function if they somehow ceased to exist.  Based on a comic book series by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg, the Cowboys And Aliens trailer seems to ponder the age-old question: what if alien invaders tried to take over the Wild Wild West? Given that it stars Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig and a fresh-from-Tron Olivia Wilde, we’re assuming no creature is going get away with any probing without losing an arm…or a tentacle.

However, don’t feel like you know what’s going to happen just because you’ve seen E.T. and True Grit back to back. Earlier this month director Jon Favreau says the Cowboys And Aliens plot twists are very deliberately going to be kept from the audience. “They tend to be more intrigued by something that holds a sense of mystery, where you feel like you are getting to experience something new and not just fulfilling a check list of the trailer that you saw when you go to see the movie,” Favreau says of potential moviegoers. The only genre mash-up we’d like better then this one would would be a zombie movie mixed with, oh, we don’t know, a romance set in 19th century England. Oh wait, that’s already coming out in 2013!

by (@hallekiefer)

Your Highness Recap: What A Long, Strange, Profoundly Awful Trip It’s Been

Now that Your Highness has hit theaters, you can rest assured there is a funny, raunchy medieval comedy out there for you to enjoy. It’s called Robin Hood: Men In Tights and it came out in 1993. However, if you like wacky violence, topless ladies and production values so cheap it makes your high school gym look like the set of Gone With The Wind, then sit down while I spin you the tale of Your Highness.

Danny McBride plays slovenly, horny Prince Thadeous, who spends his day porking the wife of the dwarf king and smoking bowl after bowl of the kingdom’s finest. From the first f-bomb dropped in a high English accent, McBride is basically Eastbound and Down‘s Kenny Powers; they didn’t even bother to give him a new haircut. While this might have been a clever way to reel in moviegoers familiar with his foul-mouth ball player, it wasn’t the best way to, you know, make a film that wasn’t terrible.

[Warning - spoilers below the jump!]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Daniel Radcliffe Looking Spooky, Fine In The Woman In Black Teaser Trailer

During his relatively lengthy career, Daniel Radcliffe has always gravitated towards projects dealing with the occult like Harry Potter, Equus, and The Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror XXI.” Somehow, he still manages to look hella cute doing all them. “The man your man could be scared like,” we call him. If the new teaser trailer is any indication, Daniel Radcliffe’s new movie The Woman In Black seems to be right up his creepy, ghoul-ridden alley. Scary dark hallways? Check. Mysterious figures emerging from the gloom? Check. Adorable stubble paired with a period-piece suit? Check and check! Seriously, what other movie would Daniel have done, a rom-com? Maybe if it starred Katherine Heigl as some sort of supernatural she-beast hell-bent on righting an ancient wrong. Now that movie we would actually see. If you are Daniel Radcliffe’s casting agent, please call us. We have a million ideas just  like this one.

According to IMDB, the plot of The Woman in Black follows a “a young lawyer [who] travels to a remote village to organize a recently deceased client’s papers, where he discovers the ghost of a scorned woman set on vengeance.” Radcliffe will star across from Ciarán Hinds, set to play Aberforth Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. There’s also a rumor that a How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying movie is in the works, with Radcliffe slated to play the lead of the film adaptation. Well…if they can agree to through in a giant snake and/or a means to communicate with the world beyond the grave, we can deal with the fact it’s a musical. At least, we’ll try.

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Kirsten Dunst Sad And Naked In Arty, Apocalyptic Melancholia Trailer

Kirsten Dunst‘s career flatlined after a series of flops and a rehab stay, but her overdue comeback may be underway thanks to the upcoming Melancholia, directed by that crazy Dane Lars Von Trier. The trailer initially looks like a simple family drama, with Alexander Skarsgard as her husband-to-be and Charlotte Gainsbourg, Charlotte Rampling, Kiefer Sutherland and John Hurt among the grumpy friends and family at the wedding. Then comes the twist: a previously undetected planet has been hiding behind the sun (we’re not making this up) and is scheduled to collide with Earth, ensuring our destruction. Behind the sun—the last place astronomers would ever think to look!

Check out the slightly NSFW trailer to see Dunst arguing with on-screen sister Gainsbourg (who we’re surprised to see working with Von Trier again after the brutal Antichrist), shooting electricity out of her fingers, and—for a split second, from far away—laying nude under the stars. Call us Dieter from Sprockets, cuz this trailer makes us as happy as a little girl. Art!

by (@hallekiefer)

The Hangover Part II Trailer, Now With More Weenis

Okay, yes, the Hangover Part II trailer seems to confirm what the Hangover II teaser trailer merely suggested: the sequel is essentially the same film all over again. Having traveled to Thailand for yet another wedding, the gang manages to lose Stu’s young future brother-in-law Teddy, played by Mason Lee. Did they check the roof? No, seriously, someone check it right now.

If you thought that we would care one iota about the plot, however, you have deeply underestimated our love of Zach Galifianakis. Ken Jeong’s maniacal Mr. Chow also returns, and the men seem to have accidentally gained custody of an elderly man in Teddy’s clothes, an adorable call-back to Heather Graham‘s baby in the original. While we haven’t caught a glimpse of him yet, we’re excited to see if Liam Neeson’s role in the Hangover II can rival Mike Tyson‘s in the first…and, well, undoubtedly the second. Between battling Buddhist monks, escaping gangsters and watching Galifianakis give the most inappropriate wedding toast of all time, we fell in love all over again. “When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it’s funny in any language,” Zach says with child-like glee. So is this, Zach. So is this all.

by (@hallekiefer)

Chris Evans Channels Benjamin Button In Captain America Extended Trailer

Are we still allowed to find Chris Evans in the Captain America: The First Avenger extended trailer hot, even when he has a big head on a weird CGI body? What if we find him even more hot that way? Oh, don’t say that out loud to anyone? Our bad. As the trailer reveals, Evans stars as shrimpy Army wannabe Steve Rogers who gets turned into a Nazi-fighting super soldier by mad scientist Stanley Tucci. If the trailer is any indication, Evans is basically playing Benjamin Button meets Inglourious Basterds, with a splash of Young Frankenstein. So a man built out of our three favorite movies, essentially.

When not undergoing experiments or wearing a forty-lb muscle suit, Chris Evans has been spending time with Ashley Greene, ex of Joe Jonas. Ugh, if only Chris could stay Photoshopped to look like Smeagol, we might stand one tiny little chance. The trailer also gives a split-second peek at Hugo Weaving as villain Red Skull. Is it wrong that we sort of find him hot too? Like in a creepy, Hell Boy kind of way? No? We’re sorry; they should keep us locked up…until Captain America hits theaters, and immediately after that, forever.

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New Water For Elephants Trailer: More Sexy Drama, Fewer Elephants

Looks like we weren’t the only people who thought the first Water For Elephants trailer had far too much circus and not enough sex. Instead of giving us the ancient Hal Holbrook gabbing about “the Benzini Brothers” (zzz), the new promo focuses on the personal tragedy that led Robert Pattinson‘s brooding lead to the circus, making clear our boy didn’t just run off because he really wanted to clean up monkey poop. The love triangle between RPattz, fragile Reese Witherspoon and violent Christoph Waltz gets more attention in the new trailer as well—instead of Grandpa cooing “I don’t know if I picked that circus, or if the circus picked me,” we hear Waltz seething that animals can tell “whether man is at full-strength,” better setting up Pattinson’s claim that Witherspoon “deserves a better life.” There’s also a lot more kissing and scuffling in this one. While fans of the book (and RPattz) have been psyched from the beginning, this is where those of us who want more drama, and less three-ring majesty, get on board. Plus there’s a stampede!

See the trailer after the jump.

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by (@katespencer)

10 Random Thoughts We Had While Watching The Welcome To The Rileys Trailer

Hey guys, Kate Spencer here. I cover the Kristen Stewart (photos) beat for TheFABlife and like all of you I eagerly sat down at my desk this morning to watch the new Welcome to the Rileys trailer and count how many times my pretend BFF KStew bit her lips (answer: 0!)*. The flick revolves around a couple – played by Melissa Leo and James Gandolfini - who lose a daughter and later take in a teenage stripper, played by Stew-pants. It looks a bit cliched and sappy, but I trust these actors to bring it and will definitely give it a watch, and not just because I’m a brainwashed Kristen loyalist and think she can do no wrong. Which she can’t.

I chronicled my emotional journey through the the 2 minute and 26 second trailer and have documented my varying reactions for you, dear, Stew-fans, below.

Let’s just say I ended up in tears. Don’t tell anyone. More importantly – what did you think? Would you camp out for 4 days for WTTR?

  • :10 – Melissa Leo doesn’t even have to talk and she’s f*cking amazing.
  • :16 – I’m still sad they killed Adriana on The Sopranos. Also James Gandolfini with a Southern accent = LOLs.
  • :35 – What do they use in movies to make fake pills?
  • :46 – Kristen’s old hair! I still love you! Come back to me!
  • :47 – Where can I get a meatball po’boy?
  • 1:02 – I bet Kristen took those bright yellow Keds home with her after shooting wrapped.
  • 1:34 – Wait a second, Kristen just half-bit her lip. Does that count?
  • 1:45 – The make-up artist should win an Oscar for making Kristen’s perfect skin look so nasty.
  • 1:52 – And…Kristen just made the most classic Stew face ever. Be still, fluttering heart of mine.
  • 2:17 – Oh crap, I’m crying! Why am I crying?!

* Lip-bite count updated to .5 after re-watching the trailer.

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