We are feeling about as frustrated as Willa Burrell these days: Four episodes into this season of True Blood, and still, no sex. Some mighty good teasing happened in this installment — and one shirtless Eric scene — but, yeah, it’s still all about the body count. Still, considering we got that fantastic vampire-blood-induced Jason and “Ben” fantasy sequence, we might be feeling rather forgiving of this fact. Flip through our five favorite WTF moments from last night, and let us know if you share these mixed feelings.
Yeah, True Blood is a show about vampires and werewolves and werepanthers and fairies and witches and Dionysian cults, but it’s also a show about sex. In the past six seasons, True Blood has given us so many weird, wacky and downright hot sex scenes, that it’s hard to keep them all straight.
Which is why we’ve put together a complete guide of all of True Blood‘s sex scenes. Hey, it’s for science.
Do I have a Jason-size concussion, or have we gone a full three episodes into this season of True Blood without one sex scene? This is very disturbing, guys. I thought for sure Eric would at least get it on with the governor’s daughter, just for a fun interlude between vampire rights crises, but no such luck. We’ll have to make do with that super-charged scene of him licking his own blood off her finger. That Miss Willa Burrell is but one of the many new characters we can’t tell whether to trust or not — was she going to lick Eric’s blood to get the power to escape, or just for sexytimes? While we wait for the mysteries of Ben Flynn, the Vampire Unity kids and Niall to slowwwwly unravel, let’s look back at the WTF-ery of the episode.
1. Bill’s on fire, AGAIN. “You’re not god, Bill. You’re just an a–hole,” Sookie tells him later in the episode. Ha! He’s not quite as invincible as he thought, but still quite scary.
So, yeah, this vampire-human war as metaphor for civil rights theme has gotten beyond heavy handed on True Blood, hasn’t it? Remember when the battle was all about Jason going to sleepaway camp with Reverend Steve Newlin and his hot wife? But to make up for it, this week’s episode did give us a few skin-crawling scenes that it is our pleasure to relive with you right now…
Well, the sixth season of True Blood premiered last night, and as usual, we were left scratching our heads. Is Billith a monster or a really sweet dad? Are werewolves the worst? What’s up with Andy Bellefluer’s offspring? How come we get to see all these ladies full frontal, but Alcide is so tastefully covered? Here, to recap all of the crazy, pantsless glory of the episode, we present to you the 5 most WTF moments of the night. (And for the stars’ memories of their most WTF scenes, watch the video above!)
Last season on True Blood, we saw the beginnings of a crazy but hot — and strangely cute — pairing between Pam and her new vampire “daughter” Tara. (OK, when you use those incestuous terms, it’s a little less hot, but you know what we mean.) When VH1 News hit the red carpet for the premiere of season six, we asked the stars — and author Charlaine Harris — what they thought of the chemistry between the angry lady fangers, played by Kristin Bauer van Straten and Rutina Wesley.
True Blood returns to TV screens tonight on HBO. While we can’t wait to watch all the vampires, werewolves, witches, shapeshifters and fairies get into it, we’re more excited to watch the cast get back into bed with each other. True Blood might be about people involved with the supernatural, but its cast is the most super sexy group of people to have ever been on television.
One of the sexiest shows on TV is HBO’s True Blood and everyone knows why: those sex scenes! The Gossip Table has learned that one actor gets extremely into his work. Noah Levy reports that Stephen Moyer, who portrays vampire Bill Compton, gets aroused while filming sex scenes. That’s right, all those times he bedding Sookie, he’s really (thinking about) going at it. But that’s fine, considering Anna Paquin is his wife. But does Moyer also share the same passion for his gay sex scenes?
Which celebrity’s dog is wreaking mayhem? The Gossip Table has the scoop!
Those of us who are fans of both True Blood and the Charlaine Harris Southern Vampire novels on which it is loosely based are in a bit of a weird place right now. We’re still mourning the end of the book franchise (with Dead Ever After, which came out in May), while we bounce in our seats waiting for season six to premiere on Sunday. And even weirder, now that we know who book Sookie Stackhouse chooses from among her many suitors (we won’t spoil it for you), should we anticipate that the series will end this way too? Admire Sook’s admirers for a moment, and then vote on your own favorite hunk of supernatural love.
Around this time last year, we made this list a roundup of our favorite vampires of 2011 — though we named Bella Cullen as our fave, it was Damon Salvatore who ruled your hearts. This year, we took a look around at our favorite movies, TV shows and books and discovered that, while the bloodsuckers of True Blood, Twilight and The Vampire Diaries were still among our faves, they had some competition from other supes, too. There were the characters wielding magic for good or evil — Snow White and the Huntsman’s Queen Ravenna, Beautiful Creatures‘ Lena, The Mortal Instruments‘ Magnus, TVD’s Bonnie. We had a nice crop of werewolves — Teen Wolf’s Scott and Derek, Nightshade’s Calla, True Blood’s Alcide. And then, of course, there were gods, genetic mutations, time travelers and Shadowhunters. Whether they were on the page, the screen or both, these beautiful, dangerous, ever-seductive heroes and villains made us feel a little bit inadequate for being mere humans. But there’s one power we have that they don’t: the ability to vote on which of these 25 characters was our favorite of the year. Take a look at the gallery and then vote!
“The Big & Best of 2012: A Year End Celebration Presented by T-Mobile” goes LIVE at 12 p.m. ET on 12/12/12. Watch at BigAndBestOf2012.com for eight hours of live performances from stars like Bruno Mars and Miguel, surprise guest appearances, prize giveaways, special editions of “RapFix Live,” “Big Morning Buzz Live,” “MTV After Hours,” “You Oughta Know” and much more!
[Photos: HBO, The CW, Summit Entertainment, Twitter]