
If you aren’t watching True Blood, you are dumb. We know this because up until July we were not watching True Blood, but then we did because our friends made us. And even then, after we got through all of season 1, we were all, “I don’t get why you guys are so into Alexander Skarsgard, he’s weird looking.”
And our friends put their sassy friend fingers in our face and were like, “Girl, trust. In season 2 he’s going to cut his hair and then in season 3 he ties up a stripper and has sex with her and you see his butt move really fast – his tight tight butt – and then there is a BLUE. CASHMERE. SWEATER.”
And now we’ve seen the haircut and the sex and the sweater and we concur: Alexander Skarsgard is the definitive sex god of the 21st century.
But Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer? *Crickets*Fart noise*Sound of a dog sniffing another dog’s butt*
The next time Rolling Stone wants to do a True Blood cover, they should lock the fair lovers in Bill’s cellar sleep room, throw away the step ladder Stephen surely had to stand on to appear almost as tall as Alex, and let that Swede do his thing.
And by ‘thing’ we mean full frontal nudity. Obviously.
[Photo: RollingStone]


















