TV

by (@SharaMorris)

American Horror Story: Asylum: A Christmas List Of 10 Best Quotes From “Unholy Nights”

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Well, not so much at Briarcliff, but Dr. Arden, Sister Mary Eunice and Sister Jude bring their own twisted holiday cheer to the asylum this year. Instead of a jolly ole St. Nick distributing gifts to the patients, a fabulous Ian McShane portrays a deranged bad Santa named Mr. Lee Emerson, who makes Billy Bob Thorton look like your sweet Aunt Mildred. A flashback shows Emerson, dressed as Santa, slithering from house to house killing families on Christmas Eve. Now at Briarcliff, the serial killer finds his other half in Sister Mary Eunice to create the darkest duo of all. McShane is certainly our favorite part of the episode as the larger than life killer, and he relishes every facet of his evil role. Really it’s all we wanted for Christmas. As Mr. Emerson says himself, “It’s all about the list,” so we broke down a list of some of the most memorable quotes of the evening. Happy holidays!

1. “You know the difference between that Santa Clause and me? He only comes once a year.” — A sexually charged Mr. Emerson to his victims

2. “But then you got out and you found this suit, and it gave you everything you were missing. You had the power, Lee. You can have it again. Who do you want to be? The victim? Or the victor?” – Sister Mary Eunice shows Mr. Emerson a Santa suit, and gives him the opportunity to join her in her bloodthirsty plans. Who knew a Santa suit could imbue so much power?
Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Freaks And Geeks Reunion Inspires A Lot Of Fist Shaking At Short-Sighted TV Execs

Freaks and Geeks cast reunites for Vanity Fair

The bad news first: 1) We have no time machine to fix the errors of the past; and 2) this Freaks and Geeks reunion of which we speak was just for the January issue of Vanity Fair, not for a TV special or a spinoff about Nick and Lindsay’s daughter. Exec producer Judd Apatow (whose birthday, incidentally, is today) guest-edited this first-ever Comedy Issue of the magazine, and used that as an opportunity to gather the whole gang from (the non-Glee) McKinley High for a photo and a really long oral history of the show that aired from 1999-2000.

“This is the first time the cast has been together in a room — all of them — since the year 2000,” Apatow says in a behind-the-scenes video of the photo shoot. “We’re excited because I don’t think this will ever happen again.”
Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

The Walking Dead Parodies And Supercuts To Help You Through The Mid-Season Hiatus

Well, there’s one good thing about the fact that after tonight’s mid-season finale, The Walking Dead won’t be back until February: We won’t be looking like zombies ourselves on Monday mornings after nightmare-induced sleep deprivation. That doesn’t mean we won’t be missing Rick, Michonne and the gang. So here, to help you through these long winter months are our favorite parodies and supercuts.

1. The unintentionally (we think) hilarious KFC ad placement from last week’s episode (above). After witnessing the walkers feast on that crazy old shack man, we love the invitation to “come in today and taste why fresh is better.”

2. The Walkie Talkie Dead:

“Rick, take your finger off the button!” This post-season-one spoof still cracks us up. Was that puppet also on the other end of Rick’s prison phone conversation?
Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Remember Destinos? A Little Throwback Thursday (Jueves) Randomness

I literally have no reason to write about this right now, other than the fact that all of VH1 Celebrity was sitting down for lunch today, saying goodbye to our intern Erin Henry (a.k.a. the best Amanda Bynes impersonator ever), and somehow we got to talking about college Spanish courses. And then some of us got nostalgic for the genius that was Destinos. For those of you who did not take Spanish in the ’90s, we’re talking about the time some very smart people realized that the best way to learn any language is by watching a soap opera. So a professor from the University of Illinois hooked up with public television in 1992 and made a 52 episode educational telenovela that followed the saga of Fernando Castillo Saavedra, a dying old man who tells his family that before he moved to Mexico following the Spanish Civil War, he was married in Spain and had a wife and son, who didn’t actually die in the war as he’d previously thought. The story actually follows Mexican-American lawyer Raquel Rodriguez (Liliana Abud) as she traipses around the Spanish speaking world in search of this son while the story and the dialogue telling it becomes progressively more complex. Anyway, after talking about the show today, we found the entire series on YouTube. It’s worth checking out again, if only for the awesome early-’90s styles and really emphatic revelations made in each episode. LA CARTA.

Liliana Abud and Arturo Puig in Destinos

Raquel (Liliana Abud) and (Arturo) Arturo Puig in Destinos

[Photo: Annenberg Foundation]

by (@SharaMorris)

American Horror Story: Asylum: The 3 Best Visits With The Angel Of Death

American Horror Story gets a visit from the Angel of Death
Last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Asylum was rather hauntingly beautiful. Many of the characters reached their threshold and decided their only escape from their harrowing fates is death. The woman who will take them to the next life is Angel of Death, played by the wonderful Francis Conroy. By the way, did anyone think she looked like a gracefully aged Dita Von Teese here? As the Angel, she arrived at her summoners’ side, cloaked in black, releases her black, outstretched, raven wings, kissed them and sent them off into the hereafter. Her interactions with these AHS characters were our favorite parts of this episode, so here are the Dark Angel’s three best moments:

1. The Devil and the Angel Face Off: One of the best moments of the episode was when Sister Mary/devil incarnate and the Angel of Death faced off. The two crossed paths after Miles’ death and circled each other like hawks over his dead body. The Angel knew that Sister Mary is “a nun perhaps, but not so simple. Something else resides in you, one like me, but fallen.” Though the devil and angel duality is cliched, these two actresses add freshness to the age-old conflict that made us want to see a clash between good versus evil again. We want a Conroy and Rabe rematch!

2. The Angel of Death and Lana Winters: Winters has had it rough throughout AHS, to say the least. Sister Jude subjected her to Briarcliff due to her sexual preferences, Bloodyface killed the love of her life, Wendy, and when Winters thought she’d escaped the horror that is Briarcliff, she found herself in Dr. Thredson’s cavernous basement, or shall we say, Bloodyface’s torture chamber. Winters wanted out, and the Angel of Death heard her prayers. “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” she whispered, as the Angel stroked her face. Before the spirit took her to the afterlife, Winters intercepted and realized her time isn’t now. Obviously, the writers can’t kill Winters yet. She’s not only a main character, but certainly one of the most redeeming ones. This journalist still has her story to crack, and we hope she can see the day when her Briarcliff scoop will make headlines.

3. The Nun and the Angel: Sister Jude’s trajectory throughout the season has been one of a fallen soul herself. Despite being an awful person (okay, we know that’s a big one), she still represented a strong woman as the head of Briarcliff, in charge of her own destiny. In an age when women were only beginning to receive recognition in the workplace, Sister Jude was the one ordering the men around. However, since leaving Briarcliff, Sister Jude has unraveled with no will to live. After imagining her own death, the Angel paid her a visit in a restaurant booth. Apparently, this isn’t the first time Sister Jude has wanted to die, but, the Angel noted, “Your song was different this time.” Sister Jude said she was ready, but needed to do one last thing before the Angel took her away. She visited the home of Missy — the girl she killed in the hit-and-run to transgress her sins. As she was about to admit to the murder to the girl’s family, in walked Missy herself, alive and well. Since she knows she didn’t kill the little Missy now, we hope Sister Jude will skip death, regain enough strength to return to Briarcliff and take a vengeance on Dr. Arden, now that she knows he is a former Nazi officer.

[Photo: FX]

by (@shalapitcher)

Rider Strong’s Boy Meets World Letter Actually Gives Us More Hope For The Spinoff

Rider Strong says he hasn't signed on for the Boy Meets World spinoff

While some Boy Meets World fans might see Rider Strong’s blog entry about Girl Meets World, the highly anticipated Disney spinoff, as a declaration that he won’t be in the show, we’re seeing things a little differently around here. This is the paragraph everyone’s quoting this morning:

“At this point, I have no official involvement in Girl Meets World. There might be a chance to see some of the BMW cast in a guest spot, and I think it would be nice to find out where our characters have been all these years. But Girl Meets World will be, and I think it should be, it’s own show. It will be about Cory and Topanga, their daughter, and a new set of characters.”

But, guys, he says “At this point”! If you know anything about Hollywood, and spinoffs especially, it’s that nothing is set in stone EVER. And when the creators of this new show see the heartfelt letter Rider wrote about meeting people all over the world speaking the “universal language of Boy Meets World,” they’d have to be made of stone not to want to give him at least a recurring part in this show. Of course it’s going to be about Cory and Topanga’s daughter, but she’ll have other grownups in her life — maybe Shawn has become a teacher (that’s what all fictional bad boys grow up to do, isn’t it?). Or he lives next door to his BFFs. Or after a series of unfortunate failures, he’s living in their basement while he gets back on his feet. Really, the possibilities are endless.

[Photos: Getty Images]

Related: Ben Savage, Danielle Fishel Officially Join Boy Meets World Spinoff: This Is Happening, People
Disney In Talks For Boy Meets World Spinoff, Check The Cast Then And Now To Prepare Yourself

by (@SharaMorris)

American Horror Story: Asylum: We Break Down The Family Issues In Time For Thanksgiving

Jenny American Horror StoryThanksgiving is the holiday of gratitude, food, and family. We gather around the table, connect with our loved ones, and prioritize what and who really matters to us. This week’s episode of Asylum, “The Origins of Monstrosity,” illustrates what happens when that familial loss is absent … Briarcliff style. From a sociopathic child who has no emotional attachment to her mother to a psychologist who suffers from abandonment issues, we break down the family issues surrounding AHS. Even though your family may exhibit all of their glorious dysfunction on Thanksgiving, just be thankful that you are not amongst the patients at Briarcliff.

1. Running with Scissors – Oh how we’ve missed having a signature demonic child around AHS! Well, we can put our anxieties to rest, now that we’ve met the devil incarnate, little Jenny, who has never cried in her young life and possibly murdered her friend with a pair of scissors. While she stands over her friend’s body and tells the police a “tall bearded man” killed her, her mother suspects her daughter was the perpetrator. She confirms this theory and admits her to Briarcliff after she discovers a lock of Jenny’s friend’s hair in her daughter’s pocket. The killings don’t end there. Later in the episode, Jenny again stands over a dead body innocently explaining to a police officer how a tall, bearded man killed her mother. After her mother admitted her to Briarcliff, did Jenny feel abandoned? Or is she simply incapable of empathy? Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

The Vampire Diaries: 5 Other Times It’s Shocked Us With The Last Scene

Stefan and Elena broke our hearts in the last scene of the latest Vampire Diaries episode

It’s been about 19 hours, and I’m still kind of reeling from the last scene of last night’s Vampire Diaries. As I saw someone tweet last night, as I was freaking out over the devastatingly quiet breakup of Stefan and Elena, the Gilberts’ porch is kept clean by tears. Even as a firm believer in Delena — which, how could you not be this season? — Paul Wesley’s performance had me tearing up and temporarily switching allegiance. (But so help me, Julie Plec, if you turn Elena back into a boring human, I will hunt you down.) The other thing that struck me about this moment was how well it fit into the show’s time-honored tradition of changing the game, or plucking our hearts out, in the last five minutes of the show, leaving us breathing heavily and pounding our fists on the couch as the title card floats onto the screen.

Here are some of our other favorite last-scene reveals:

“Founder’s Day,” Season 1: Damon kisses Elena ever so tenderly on the cheek, we squeeeeee, and then suddenly realize that it’s not Elena at all but Katherine, who then turns around and stabs John Gilbert.

“Rose,” Season 2: Damon confesses his love to Elena and then compels her to forget his confession. TEARS.

“As I Lay Dying,” Season 2: After all sorts of terrible Klaus-related tragedies, Jeremy returns home from the dead, accompanied by his two deceased ex-girlfriends.

“1912,” Season 3: Meredith reveals that Alaric has been the one murdering council members.

“The Departed,” Season 3: Meredith, deliverer of surprises, reveals that Elena had vampire blood in her when she died, and then Elena wakes up.

This is just a small sampling, of course, culled from my memory. But I’d love to hear from you about your fave last-minute TVD moments. And am I the only one who almost ALWAYS gets interrupted in the middle of the last scene? God bless DVRs.

[Photo: The CW]

by (@SharaMorris)

American Horror Story: Asylum Anne Frank Part 2 – The Doctors Are In

Last week’s episode of Asylum left us on a cliffhanger: Anne Frank was pointing a gun at Dr. Arden’s head and exposed him to be SS officer and experimental doctor Hans Gruber. This week, we finally discover the man behind the monster mask and the mystery behind Anne Frank. Before Anne has time to shoot Arden, the Briarcliff guards catch her and alert her husband of her violent disobedience. Her husband discloses that Anne Frank is actually Charlotte Cohen, who is suffering from postpartum depression after giving birth to their son. She copes by absorbing herself in the Holocaust, reliving it in an attempt to change its outcome. Not only does she convince Sister Jude that she was Anne Frank, but she definitely convinced me. I loved how Ryan Murphy created a second life for Anne Frank, but I should have known that she fabricated her story seeing as she is living in a mental institution. Talk about unreliable characters on this show.

Sister Jude releases Anne from the institution to be with her husband, but he soon realizes he can’t handle her anymore. He desperately tries to re-admit her back into Briarcliff, and guess who is ready to accept her with open arms? None other than Dr. Arden. Arden performs a lobotomy on her in an excruciating scene that left my skin crawling. Not to worry, though! Arden transforms her into the Stepford wife her husband always wanted. “I’ve never been happier,” she says to him sedately as she hugs her baby. This is one of my favorite storylines in the show so far, so I hope this isn’t the last we see of Anne Frank…I mean, Charlotte. Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Jersey Shore Cast Step Up For Restore The Shore Post-Sandy Fundraiser – Who Should Join Them?

The cast of the Jersey Shore is hosting a post-Sandy fundraising special called Restore the Shore

Considering what a controversy the cast of Jersey Shore has stirred up ever since their show first aired on MTV, we think this is a great step for them and their adopted hometown of Seaside Heights. After witnessing the devastation done to their summer haunt during Superstorm Sandy, the show is teaming up with Architecture for Humanity for a benefit called Restore the Shore, airing live next Thursday, November 15 at 11 p.m. ET (tape-delayed for the West Coast). The money raised will help rebuild the boardwalk and assist the people who live and work in the affected region.

According to the press release we got this morning, the special will also feature special guests to be announced. Who do you think they should invite? Here are our suggestions:

  • Everyone a Jersey Shore star has ever fought with on the show. What better way to demonstrate how Jerseyans come together in a time of crisis?
  • The cast of every other Jersey-set show that has been accused of promoting negative stereotypes of the state: Real Housewives of New Jersey, The Sopranos, that lawyer show no one watched.
  • Read more…