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by Ambika Muttoo (@missmuttoo)

‘Tis The Season To Be Jolly… With RPattz!

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We hadn’t heard of Stewart Shining till today, but are now indebted to him. Shining’s a fashion photographer who has done major assignments with Vogue, Vanity Fair and Sports Illustrated. Which means he’s always surrounded by models and celebrities and other really pretty people.

This year he decided to spread the love, in keeping with the season, and gave us the gift the just keeps on giving. Shining tweeted this message, “I was just thinking this would be my motto for the new year, and a nice Xmas present for the RPatt fans!” Being the Shining star he is, he also accompanied the tweet with this photo of Robert Pattinson looking all moody and dee-lish in black and white. Perez Hilton says the shot’s an outtake from the photographers’s Italian Vanity Fair cover with RPattz! It’s completely gratuitous but we had to share! Why not, Rob? We ask ourselves that everyday. Sigh. Happy holidays!

[Photo: Twitter]

by Ambika Muttoo (@missmuttoo)

Ice-T Tweets About His Appreciation For Wife Coco’s Butt

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This would be disturbing if they weren’t a couple. We lie…it’s disturbing even though they’re a couple. But also sweet? Ice-T has been tweeting about wife Coco and her assets. And his messages provide great insight about the feminine form and how to appreciate it. Let us guide you through his Twitter-ing.

Ice’s first tweet read, “A white guy just asked me seriously.. Why do brothers love women with big bootys.. I told him ‘Because that’s the IMPACT AREA’. We’re pausing now for your reaction. Read it over and over again, if that helps. This valuable bit of information which will, no doubt, benefit mankind was followed by a second tweet, “Coco even told me that she was considered fat while she had a 23 inch waist.. I told here  [sic]  ’Don’t worry baby, I appreciate that ass!”. Aww, that really is sweet. Here’s a man who likes some meat, and you know what, more men should be like that. If you agree, then repeat the words of Sir-Mix-Alot, “I like big butt’s and I cannot lie.”

[Photo: Getty Images]

by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

Kelly’s Just Being Miley

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If you had told us that slapping on some Barbie-pink matte lipstick, slipping into an old Beyonce wig from 2008 and making serial killer eyes would make Kelly Osbourne look like Miley Cyrus, we might not have believed you. But the proof is in the TwitPic! While on set for their movie So Undercover, Kelly was morphed into a mini-Miley. “I’m just being Miley!!!!,” tweeted Osbourne, though we’re going to have to check with Miley’s best friend Leslie to see if that is correct.

If Twitter is any indication, Osbourne and Cyrus have become fast friends while working in New Orleans on the film. Though if Kelly had really wanted to be accurate, apparently she should have worn cut-off booty shorts, a stained holey t-shirt and, let’s be real here, hold a massive bong. Wow, we have next year’s Halloween costume all planned and it’s only December. [Photo: Kelly Osbourne's Twitter]

by Liz Black

The Only Things That Matter To Bethenny Frankel Are Her Baby And Her BlackBerry

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Oh, Bethenny Frankel, have you no sense of irony? The former Real Housewife/Star Who Skates posed for a Twitpic yesterday holding her adorable baby, Brynn, and captioned the photo “This is the only thing that matters.” What’s so amazing is that she couldn’t be bothered to get off her BlackBerry to properly pose with her precious cargo. So apparently the only things that really matter are your kid and getting the most out of your rollover minutes.

[Photo: TwitPic]

by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

Kelly Osbourne Rushes To Miley’s Defense Armed With Cupcakes

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Is there any problem in the world that cupcakes can’t fix? Kelly Osbourne sure doesn’t think so. While in New Orleans shooting So Undercover with Miley Cyrus, Kelly Osbourne went off on any and all haters who have been giving her bong-loving pal Miley a hard time. “Just read in the rags that apparently my mum thinks Miley is a bad influence on me it could not be father from the truth!” Kelly tweeted. “This really makes me mad. Miley is one of the most hard working respectful women I have ever worked with I am learning a lot from her!” Considering Kelly has been to rehab three times, including once in 2009, we certainly hope that Miley isn’t enabling anything worse than the occasional 3:00am sugar binge.

In reality, Kelly says it’s Cyrus who’s been encouraging clean living for the both of them. “Actually it’s the other way around Miley has us all on a health kick. Gym/early nights There really scraping the barrel on that one!” After her rant Osbourne posted pictures of the girls chowing down, joking “This is how im a bad I influence on Miley I force her to eat cupcakes so I don’t feel so bad about eating one!” That picture is adorbs.org! Unless…did Miley bring those? Kelly, you better back away from the baked goods! You’re in Cyrus country now! [Photo: Kelly Osbourne's Twitter]

by Anthony Miccio

Justin Bieber Loses Hair Helmet, Gains Mustache

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Justin Bieber‘s swagger coach Ryan Good is certainly earning his paycheck. If you thought the Biebs was a girl magnet before, imagine how the ladies will handle him with a big, manly mustache! Bieber, P.I. tweeted photos of his faux-facial hair to the hashtag #stacheswaggin after last night’s concert. Hey, you don’t think it was just an attempt to get people used to Bieber without his helmet hair, do you? Pretty smooth, distracting us like that.

[Photo: Plixi]

by Ambika Muttoo (@missmuttoo)

Remember These Two?

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Just in case you had forgotten this fact (or forced yourself to): Kat von D and Jesse James are in love. Since it’s the holiday season, let’s just totally forget that he was a rat to now ex-wife, Sandra Bullock. Let’s not even mention that he has his own cheater-moniker, Vanilla Gorilla. Let’s skip over the fact that Jesse spent months wailing about how he “wanted to get caught” bonking, y’know, Nazi strippers. Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, who?

What were we talking about? Oh yes, the love between Kat and Jesse. And since it’s all little ponies and unicorns with these two, Kat needed to spread their joy to the world. On Twitter, of course. Kat tweeted a simple, “<3″ with the photo pictured above. For some strange reason that old Spice Girls song,  2 become 1 is playing in our head. And now we’re just creeped out. Erm, happy holidays!

[Photo via Twitter]

by Ambika Muttoo (@missmuttoo)

Gaga Fashion Goes To Town In Paris

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Good news, little (European) monsters. Lady Gaga sent out some very apologetic tweets day before yesterday because her Parisian shows were canned due to the French government banning her tour bus caravan from entering the country. She explained the situation over Twitter, “All 28 of my trucks for the Monsterball were detained by the French government going on over 26 hrs, 2 of my employees were arrested trying to get into Paris so we could perform. I am furious and devastated, its unfair to my fans and to me.” Adding to what was turning out to be a vairy mauvais soujourn was the seriously bad weather seen in the photo Gaga tweeted along with the message, “I love Paris + I love my French fans. I’m sorry little monsters. A photo of storm, I’m stuck on bus.”

Problem solved now. All is well with the Monsterball, as Gaga exulted over Twitter, writing, “Today’s canceled Paris show is rescheduled for Tuesday, 2moro’s show will happen as planned. I promise to give u the nights of ure life. X” Perhaps that’s why she celebrated by leaving her hotel, the Park Hyatt, for Chez Andre looking like a depraved Victorian countess who just had a rendezvous with a debauched Duke who ripped her bodice open in a moment of passion. She seems to inspire that behavior, considering a female fan groped her breast in the resulting frenzy. Check out the gallery of Gaga owning Paris, below. [Photos: Splash News Online]

by Ambika Muttoo (@missmuttoo)

Geography Is Not Taylor Momsen’s Strong Suit

Taylor Momsen’s touring Europe with her band The Pretty Reckless in her trademark raccoon eye make-up and the tattered lingerie she calls clothing.  All that country-hopping’s got the poor thing mixed up because while performing in Glasgow, she happily announced to the crowd, “Glasgow you are looking good tonight. We are The Pretty Reckless and we have heard Glasgow is the craziest crowd in all of England.”

Hah, is all we have to say. But the Scots were having none of it. “The noise from the crowd was deafening,” said an eyewitness. “People began to cheer as they presumed she was going to say Scotland, but when the penny dropped all you could hear was boos.” What’s weird is that Taylor didn’t realize she had goofed up till the next day. Did she not hear the boos? Did she think that was sort of archaic Scottish custom to show appreciation? She had to apologize for her D’oh moment on Twitter, of course, tweeting, “Glasgow, I love you, I now HAVE to tour SCOTLAND (haha, sorry about the slip up!)”.

The good news is, now that Taylor’s getting all that time off from Gossip Girl, she’ll be able to sit with an Atlas. Because it’s clearly necessary.