by (@katespencer)

Lindsay: Sam Ronson Spit On Me


Oh glorious day! There’s nothing we love more than rising with the sun to discover Lindsay Lohan has accused her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson of something crazy on Twitter. Her words set our heart a flutter and the crazier they are, the better. Lindsay, who is currently trying to break the world record for most nights in a row spent out partying, returned from a fun weekend at Coachella (see Twitpic above) and apparently hit up Trousdale, where she ran into her ex-lover…and her saliva.

Tweets LiLo: “@samantharonson spit in my face and left w/ @mileycyrus ‘s ex.” We’re assuming Linds is talking about Justin Gaston, Miley’s beefy, Jesus-loving ex. We don’t know Samantha Ronson in real life (But if The Secret works, we will soon!), but we know enough of her to imagine she’s not the type of lady who spits on anyone, much less her insomnia-suffering ex. But for now all we have to go on are Lindsay’s words, as crazy as they may be.

[Photo: @lindsaylohan]


Scott Baio, Wife Lash Out At Blog For Retweeting Him: “Lesbian S—asses”

Scott & Renee Baio

You may have heard that Scott Baio‘s tweets swing more than a little, well, right. But that doesn’t mean you have to point it out! The Charles In Charge actor went on another freakout when Jezebel included his impolitic joke about how his taxes “feed, house and provide medical for quite a few lazy non working people at my expense” in a “Tweet Beat” feature. Before accusing writer Irin Carman “of sounding like an ignorant racist” for claiming he “hangs himself by his own rope,” Baio cried “Let’s see if web-rag will post my Twt about schools, service ppl, spc. needs kids and animal abuse? They sound like hypocrites 2 me!” Following some hash-tag madness, Baio’s wife Renee chimed in on her Facebook page with a thoughtful “F— you,!!! You are a bunch of FAR LEFT Lesbian s—asses!!!!!! No wonder you’re all lesbos because what man in is right mind could put up with all of your c—ness? Scott Baio has more class in his piss than all you all!!!”

With her remarks somehow failing to put out the Twitstorm, Renee later noted she has “close friends of all color, sizes, religions, diff. political views, special needs & with or without animals,” simply saving her homophobic banter for those bashes her family. “The haters are NOT the only people who can exercise their freedom of speech.” Still aggrieved, Renee claims she’ll be sending information about Jezebel’s “one sided” comments section to the “Attorney General’s Office.” That she believes they’ll care is probably the craziest thing we’ve heard yet. [via Jezebel]

See photos of the happy couple in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Spencer Pratt Mocks Kate Hudson’s Alleged Boob Job

Spencer Pratt & Kate Hudson

Spencer Pratt may have expressed some concerns about Heidi Montag‘s plastic surgery when the latest model of his Stepford Wife was revealed last January (“I’m her husband—not her owner…I may not be okay with things, but it’s not my call”), but the same supportive nature that forced him to repress such qualms has now made him a silicone enthusiast. How else can we explain his mockery of Kate Hudson‘s alleged boob job on Twitter? “How is it possible to get breast implants and still not have breasts! – Kate H – get ur money back… I gotta guy who will hook you up!”
Spencer has been on attack mode ever since Audrina Patridge dared to discuss Heidi’s health with George Lopez, joining the choir on Ke$ha’s SNL performance (“looks like a dragon on E threw up on a super hero outfit”) and slamming everyone from Snooki (“I’m coming for you…shark fin in the water…watch out…”) to Lauren Conrad (“Heard you were pitching a show about your fashion line. What’s it called ‘for sale’ or ‘discount rack’?”) to Al Qaeda (“Getting it done. Can’t hide from us…”). “Feeling this free speech today,” he exclaimed. “Can’t shut me down. U feel me?”

Check out the gallery of Kate before and after her alleged operation (one Us Weekly rumor and we can’t stop staring!). R U feeling Spencer on this or R U wishing he’d tweet in hell?

[Photos: Splash News Online/Getty Images]

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Kim Kardashian Bites Down In Australia

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian, in Australia for…ah, who cares…spent yesterday prancing around the boats and clothing stores of Sydney Harbor in a tight black and white dress and high heels, showing everyone how big a fork she can take at lunch. Judging from the picture she tweeted, she found the Australian paparazzi just fascinating as they must have found her. Watch Kim thunder down under in the gallery below.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Spencer Pratt Launches A Twitter Attack On Audrina

Audrina Patridge & Spencer Pratt

We’ve heard the prosecution’s case against Heidi Montag‘s plastic surgery binge…now it’s time for the defense. Spencer Pratt interrupted his praise for God and our nation’s troops to tweet hard at Audrina Patridge after she factually described her Hills co-star’s new body on Lopez Tonight, admitting Heidi “has changed a bit” (oh no, you didn’t!!!).

I would like to make it CLEAR! My wife and Audrina have severed all ties! We no longer deal with that fake world and fake people like her./ Audrina – Don’t hate because your nasty Tijuana plastic surgery got you no press… and my wife is #1 story on people – 5 days in a row!/ Who elected you to gage cool – B—-! Why don’t u and ur played out 90s singer Cabrera go into a bathroom stall and do what u do best…/ Oh the truth is coming… I’m not playing anymore. Everyone stay tuned… its all coming out!/ Audrina – you want press? Leak another 50 naked photos of yourself like u did to get relevant to in the first place./So glad my wife gets her surgery in bev hills and not where Jwow and audrina go. We love american doctors!

You hear that people, Heidi’s body is home grown! That scooped-out back you recoil from is a tribute to our country! Say anything other than “Heidi Montag looks more gorgeous with every passing day” and her husband will bring it down on you, because that’s what love is. At least that’s what ridiculous, fame-obsessed, borderline psychotic love is.

See photos of Audrina and Kristin Cavallari shopping on “the set” of The Hills yesterday in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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by (@katespencer)

Ice-T: Twitter Police


The next time you hop on your iPad (what you don’t have one yet?) to Twitter some clever crap about Ice-T‘s crappy acting or his wife’ camel-toe prone vagina, think again. The dude will take you to task for what you write, and if you’re like Aimee Mann or Nicole Richie, you’ll end up with your tail between your tweeting legs.

Last week singer Aimee Mann wrote, “Christ, there is no reason in the world anyone should ever have cast Ice T in a television show,” to which Ice-T replied: “stop worrying about my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music.” Instead of standing her ground (she does kinda have a point, right?) Aimee apologized profusely and let Ice-T win the Twitter war.

Then Nicole Richie decided to get in on the action with this little number today (in which she quotes a friend): “Don’t fuck with Coco IceT. That camel-toe will swallow you up!” Ohhhhh brother. Ice immediately got in on the action, writing, “Why do people say dumb shit about us and think it’s all good??? Was that suppose to be funny? Remember… I don’t start this shit…”

Nicole remembered and immediately begged for forgiveness. And people think Twitter is a free for all? Not with Ice-T around!

[Photo: GettyImage]


Jim Carrey: Going Crazy Or Just Being Jim?

We’re of two minds about Jim Carrey‘s Twitter addiction—not unlike Jim himself. The comedian has been burning up the net since splitting with Jenny McCarthy, following a discussion about celebrity infidelity announcing “Jim Carrey’s ambassador to the world is dead!He is survived by me, the actual Jim Carrey, who has opinions about stuff….I have freed Truman, at long last!” Since that missive, we’ve been treated to ever more complicated emoticons and jokes like “Sometimes I make an ASS of myself, yet I’m anything BUTT! Thankyou g’night! (Hold for applause…wait for it…aaaaand fade to black).”

Some fans are worried his tweets are signs of increasing anxiety, but—considering how eccentric he’s always been—-it’s possible Ace Ventura just hasn’t a platform to express his manic episodes minute-by-minute until now. And there’s always the possibility Andy Kaufman‘s Biggest Fan is just pulling our leg (“Don’t worry folks. i didn’t slip over the edge. i’m just movin’ the boundaries for the rest of you nuts! %^}”). Do you think Jim’s going bonkers or just bringing us deeper into the wacky world he’s always wandered through? Let us know in our TheFABLife poll after taking a walk down memory lane in Jim’s goofy gallery below.

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Brandon Davis Claims He Would Never Mock Mischa’s Weight


It’s time once again for “Updates On A Sweaty Rich Dude,” the feature in which we bring you the latest news on oil heir, starf*cker, and sweat-machine extraordinaire, Brandon Davis. When last we met our hero, he had taken to his Twitter account to attack Mischa Barton, who he called “one of the fattest people on the planet.” Davis denies authoring the Tweet, however, telling InTouch, “I would never say anything nasty about Mischa, especially about her weight. I am pissed that someone stole my identity and started Twittering things.”

The author of the Twitter account, if it is not actually Davis, also denied writing it , placing blame on that other guy we know and love for his classy ways, Rick Solomon, who is a starf*cker himself, and star of several sex tapes and short-lived marriages. A later tweet explains “With rick soloman. He stole my phone and wrote the mischa comment. Would never speak that way about an ex.” So…not only does Davis himself deny having a Twitter account, but his identity was stolen by someone with a conscience (who hangs out with dirtbags like Solomon) who also feels bad about the Mischa insults? This all seems very shady, but we’ve come to expect nothing less from Davis.

[Photo: Getty Images]


Elizabeth Taylor Denies Engagement Rumors

Elizabeth Taylor & Jason Winters
Even in our wacky world of celebrity romance, some news is too crazy to be true. Elizabeth Taylor resurrected her Twitter (last used to call out haters of Kathy Ireland‘s Pre-Oscar show: “When is someone going to stop the yellow press from lashing out at people who no more deserve it than the Dalai Lama!”) to dismiss rumors that she was marrying manager Jason Winters. “The rumors regarding my engagement simply aren’t true,” Dame Liz tweeted, “Jason is my manager and dearest friend. I love him with all my heart.”

While Taylor’s list of ex-husbands is legendary (Winters would have been her eighth—ninth, if you count Richard Burton twice), it was hard to believe the wheelchair-bound 78-year-old was really planning to make it official, especially since she’d already dismissed the idea with a legendary “noooooooooooo!” in 2007. Besides, who could hope to follow her last husband, construction worker Larry Fortensky! Once you’ve had Fortensky, you know that’s the end-sky.

[Photo: Getty Images]


Conan O’Brien Headed To TBS, Lopez Bumped To Midnight

Conan O'Brien

Looks like FOX won’t be entering the late night wars after all—at least not with Conan O’Brien. The former Tonight Show host announced today that he’ll be hosting a late night show on TBS in November. “In three months, I’ve gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I’m headed to basic cable.” Coco said in a statement. “My plan is working perfectly.”

While O’Brien will be bumping George Lopez from his current 11pm slot on TBS to 12am, the Lopez Tonight show host doesn’t feel slighted—in fact, Lopez courted O’Brien for TBS with a personal phone call. Said Lopez, “I can’t think of anything better than doing my show with Conan as my lead-in…It’s the beginning of a new era in late-night comedy.” It’s also certain to be a brand new era for the network, who were barely acknowledged as a possible new home for Conan, in part due to their recent hiring of Lopez. Can cable hope to compete with the major networks in late night, or will Conan no longer pose a threat to the aging Leno-Letterman kingdom? Even if the move makes him negligible, he’ll surely be one of the richest negligible talk show hosts in history.

[Photo: Twitter]