Michael Lohan staged a “press conference” yesterday afternoon, repeating his regular refrain that 1) daughter Lindsay Lohan is abusing drugs, 2) she’s being coddled by “enablers” and 3) if she won’t willingly go to rehab, he’ll do whatever it takes to make her go. “Extraordinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures,” he said. “I’ve tried every way possible to reach out to my daughter…If Lindsay won’t sit down privately, my attorneys and I will take other measures. I just hope Lindsay is accommodating. Lindsay needs a private setting where she can detox and get individual and family therapy. That’s the program I have in place. It’s here on Long Island. I’m sick and tired of all the nonsense.”
Unsurprisingly, Dina Lohan wasn’t moved by her abusive ex-husband’s pleas. “”I have a criminal protective order against him ’til 2011. He’s 1 year behind in child support and he’s using [Lindsay] as a diversion,” she told TMZ. Lindsay is in good hands. Everything is fine. He’s trashing a child he doesn’t even see.” “Anyone else have a father that sells fake stories on them for money & dates a girl that works for tabloids? And has never paid child support?” tweeted Lindsay earlier this week. “Don’t even go there,” threatened Michael in response. “The way u and ur friends think is like a civil war compared to a nuclear one.” This conference may only be the first of many bombings to come.
[Photos: Getty Images]
Lindsay Lohan‘s had enough of your irreverent deathwatch, thank you very much. The one-time actress lashed out on Twitter over comments George Lopez made on his show about the white clouds of powder emanating from her heels last weekend. “Thanks for the childish comment regarding baby powder in my shoes to loosen up the leather* don’t you have kids?…U wouldn’t wanna hear that about them, or would you? Act like a grown man, have some respect and dignity for yourself.” Ironically, Lopez had not made one of the countless drug jokes the bizarre image could—and did—inspire, instead suggesting she used baby powder to loosen her shoes. Could she really not think of a worse powder to be associated with?
Undoubtedly smelling a ratings coup, the talk show host offered to stop cracking wise…if Lohan would tell him to in person. “Let’s take this off twitter .. Come on the show .. I’ve met you before and don’t have anything against you,” he tweeted. “You want me to stop talking about you I will .. Come and tell me .. To my face .. I’ll stop !! Respectfully.” We wholly endorse a door-to-door campaign to keep rumors startin’—it’s not like Lindsay has anything better to do.
[Photos: Splash News Online/Getty Images]
Adam Lambert had a minor league Twitter spazz-out yesterday, briefly buckling under the weight of redundant questions on a German press junket. “Don’t get me wrong—I actually really enjoy being interviewed. I’m not upset—just hoping that by tweeting, [these] questions will fade.” His annoyance was nothing a beer couldn’t fix, but we thought we’d pass along the verboten topics of discussion.
- You met Madonna? (“Yes it was amazing meeting Madonna.”)
- You Queen’s new singer, ja? (“No, I wasn’t asked to be Queen’s new frontman. :)”)
- You are male Lady Gaga, yes? (“Lol I would never say that. I’m Adam Lambert. Of course I’m a fan and have the highest respect for her and there some theatrical sensibilities that we share—but we are different people…As much as I love her—it’s becoming tiresome. Would prefer to discuss MY art.”)
- Did you kiss Ke$ha? (“Aaaaand yes, I kissed Kesha. It was fun.”)
- Gay? (“And yes- GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY yay!”)
With those hot topics settled, we can just talk about Adam’s music, on-stage antics and eyeliner (“MAC eyeliner”). Oops, he’s done with that question, too.
[Photo: Lambert's TwitPic]
The Sandra Bullock/Jesse James drama is moving from tragic to ridiculous in record speed. While most celebs—including the heartbroken Oscar winner herself—are staying mum on the subject, Dennis Rodman is not your average celebrity. Asked by InTouch Weekly how he feels about the scandal, the Sober House star—who beefed with James on Celebrity Apprentice last year—was sympathetic…to a point. “With all I’ve been through with marriage, divorce and girlfriends, I’m the wrong guy to ask…I happen to like Jesse and hope this works out for them.” Fair enough. “However, should it not, with all her success and money, I’d be happy to take Sandra Bullock out for the time of her life.” While that’s a kind and generous offer, Dennis, we’re guessing she’s not looking for another tattooed badass reality star to spend her cash right now.
Tattoo model Michelle “Bombshell” McGee might be up for a night on the town, though, considering how unapologetic she’s been about cutting Sandra’s Oscar afterglow short. The fetish/tattoo model recently revived her Twitter with a succinct “suck it!!” (since deleted) followed by “thanks for all the support.” Though she tried to change the subject (“I really want some Ben and Jerrys half baked ice cream.. Yummy!!”), she’s since suggested we all “go drink some haterade” because, as she expressed via acronym, she does not give a f— (“IDGAF!”—also deleted). Don’t worry, Michelle, it won’t believe until no one else gives a f— either.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Courtney Love may be legally restricted from talking to daughter Frances Bean Cobain, but she can still talk about her. Love blamed the split—and the following restraining order—on an October fight, though she says Frances was the abusive one. “Frances came out of my room. She was hysterical,” Love told the New York Daily News. “First she was crying at my legs, saying, ‘Why was I born?’ Then she bites and scratches and pulls on my hair. She punched me…I grabbed her with both arms. That left a bruise and she took a picture of her bruise.” Wherever did Frances learn such deviousness?
Thankfully, Love says ex-boyfriend Edward Norton is serving as a mediator between the two, despite all those tweets where she accused the star of costing her six figures in shady money deals. “I feel very bad,” she confessed, now saying he actually tripled her money (math is hard, yo!). “I have the greatest respect for Edward. He could be the President of the United States. I could be his drug czar – ha, ha.” Ha. If this wasn’t enough drama for you, Love also says Frances’ lawyer may have been driven by Brit-daddy Jamie Spears to attack the Hole singer after she said one of Spears’ relatives claimed he sexually abused her (Love is pals with former Brit manager Sam Lufti, no stranger to restraining orders). If you’re a celebrity who hasn’t had a regrettable encounter with Courtney Love yet, you’re just not trying.
See photos of Love and her daughter in the gallery below.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Chris Brown and Tila Tequila are falling back on bad habits. Unbeknownst to the LA Times, who published a profile of the Shot Of Love star discussing her departure from Twitter this weekend, Tequila has opened a new account on the service, confirming it on her website. “I am starting over. Starting FRESH! This page is gonna be a LOT more fun anyway!” So no more describing potential miscarriages as they happen, then?
While the prodigious poster has avoided that kind of drama, she can still find ways to infuriate gawkers. Upon discovering that fellow Twitter exile Brown has also returned to the forum, Tequila declared “I support you Breezy!!!…U deserve it boo!” despite previously announcing she would “pop him in the face for being such a f—ing arrogant —hole” and comparing him to footballer Shawne Merriman, the alleged ex-boyfriend she accused of abuse. Despite having begged for support in a phone message for fans last week, Brown has yet to acknowledge his new friend.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Chris Brown just called to say he loves you….and that he’s really desperate. In a remarkably pleading message left on his SayNow account, the Graffiti singer pleaded for fans to get him back on the radio. “I never really did this…I need all of my fans’ help. All the fans that I have, I need your help. A lot of radio stations aren’t playing my records…they are not being that supportive and I wouldn’t expect them to. It’s on the fans, and what you guys do in your power to bring me back. That’s all I need is you guys and nothing else will do that, except for the fans.”
Though vaguely reaffirming his continuing regret over beating Rihanna last year (“I don’t know what else I can do…I’m doing everything I need to do, I’m doing me as a person, I’m a better guy”), Brown suggests he can’t survive off good intentions alone. “It won’t be possible [to continue] if I’m not relevant on the radio and it won’t be possible for me to be an artist if I don’t have any support…I can’t be an underground mixtape artist, heh.” Like how Jon Gosselin can’t get a normal job? After Chris’ expletive-filled Twitter meltdown last December, we’re surprised his handlers are cool with him having access to a service like this. Next time you’re feeling unappreciated, dude—call your mom.
[Photo: Getty Images]
No, Lindsay Lohan isn’t doing a Pirates Of The Caribbean sketch with Fred Armisen on SNL tomorrow. The chipped fashionplate was just hanging out with Christian Dior designer pal John Galliano earlier today at Paris Fashion Week. Sadly, LiLo reportedly arrived too late to take a front row seat alongside Jared Leto and Charlize Theron at the Dior show itself, with security sending her back to her hotel to sulk instead.
This embarrassment comes painfully soon after word that her debut celebrity DJ gig Wednesday failed to please the party people at London’s Sketch. “Lindsay was clearly struggling to play the set on her own and had to ask [DJ Gareth Geno] for help. She seemed like a total drunken, incoherent mess…It was really embarrassing to watch. You could tell she didn’t didn’t know what she was doing.” Adding insult to injury, Geno’s assistance was taken as proof of a love connection by the eager beavers at the Mirror (who also say she screamed “Dance! I feel like I’m in a f—ing zoo!” at the gawking crowd). Lindsay dismissed the rumors in a since-deleted tweet (“I’m NOT dating him. lies lies lies.”), but it sounds like such gossip is the least of her problems. Check out shots from her European adventures below.
[Photo: Getty Images]