God bless Twitter. When Axl Rose and Kurt Cobain faced off at the MTV Music Awards almost twenty years ago, the stars were left to stew in their juices following the night’s feud. But following a public shouting match at last week’s NME Awards, Lily Allen is free to post grotesque twitpics of Courtney Love at Milan Fashion Week, while Love responds with, well…she can speak for herself.
oh @ tweeted that pic? thats just baby brat nonsense we are NOT having a” FUED” WOULDNT DEIGN TO post a pic of her thighs…but im not the one on gak every night dear, you are, and im not the one who uses the word “relevant” to reassure meselfALWAYS…your really a brat, is there anyone who you havent started a meaningless strop with? the night you did all the blow on earth…the night you home invaded me did all the blow ive ever seen in my home wouldnt leave and blamed ME for yr s— show?thighs?…But then again i dont pick fights with insanely deluded irrevelant friendless unatractive children who noone i know even close to likes.
Love then posted several unflattering pics of Allen circa 2008 (Love digs deep!), retweeted some supporters, called the 24-year-old singer a “feral woofy dog,” and said Allen doesn’t have an exclusive deal with Chanel—Love’s earlier accusation that kicked off this mess—because she’s “too plump” (that’s right, two critically hailed artists are having fight online over which one is ugly and which one is fat). Allen has yet to respond to Love’s unending-as-of-our-posting stream of bile (“whata sad baby, retire already so you can stop picking fights with everyone for no reason, ps tip, nme awards not venue to dress filmstar”) but we’re sure it’s only a matter of time.
[Photos: Getty Images]
Last night our Twitter feed was abuzz with the glorious news: Conan O’Brien, heroic leader of comedy dorks everywhere, had joined Twitter. Everyone RT!!! NBC’s rejected late night host was only packing around 7000 followers last night at 8PM EST, but this morning that group has grown to 243,981 fans. The guy’s only got one tweet up so far, but it’s hilarious and perfect and made of diamonds and butterflies: “Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.”
Conan originally bashed Twitter on “The Tonight Show” (oh, remember the good ol’ days?!) but he seems to have jumped on board, if only for one reason: to beat Jay Leno. In less than 24 hours, Conan skyrocketed past Jay’s measly 30,000 Twitter fans with his growing army of Twittering Team Conan members. If Jay’s corporate-looking page with boring show updates doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about the dude, then what good is Twitter for, really? @Coco 4-ever! #weloveConan. [Photo: GettyImages]
After last week’s cryptic tweets about intense stomach pain (followed suddenly by celebration over an impeding Russian adoption), many wondered if the reportedly pregnant Tila Tequila had suffered a miscarriage. Thanks in part to an e-mail she allegedly sent to a prankster pretending to be a Japanese magazine editor, some wondered if she was ever pregnant in the first place. Now the internet pin-up says she’s not only got a kid in the oven, but that she’s marrying the anonymous sperm donor. Here are some three-eyed fish plucked from the toxic stream that is her Twitter:
I spoke 2 my baby dada 2day & he says hes 100! wants 2 marry me. So I figured, life is short. Y not jus marry the man who loves me & my baby…When I get back from tour, he & I are getting tatoo’s 2gether, then I keep doing my job, but once belly starts getting big, Im movin 2 Texas…YES IM STILL PREGNANT! YES I HAVE DECIDED TO MARRY THE FATHER OF MY CHILD! YES I AM STILL TRYING TO ADOPT A BABY FROM RUSSIA! THERE! NITE!
Tila, who was engaged to the late Casey Johnson at the time of her death less than two months ago, says she’s unable to explain her announcements, lest they capture the attention of the media. “I promise when the time is right & I feel that its safe, I will one day answer ALL of ur questions about my mysterious life right now. <3…I dont wannbe the cause of my children, bio-logical Children& husband to get hounded by media. I want 2 protect them frm wut I been through.” But who will protect them from her?
[Photo: Splash News Online]
While Lisa Rinna probably isn’t the first mom to say Heidi Montag‘s cosmetic surgery binge was a bad influence on teenage girls, Rinna might be the first mom to do so behind a pair of artificially plumped limps. “I will tell you I had to take [Heidi’s People] cover off before it came in the house,” Rinna told Fancast last weekend. “We have two girls. I don’t think it is something you want to bring in the house and say, ‘Oh, look.’…Obviously, we are raising two young girls. Anything that has to do with weight issues, I think you just have to be really careful…I mean, you know – to each his own, is all I will say.” Don’t worry, you can’t actually OD on irony.
At the very least aware some people think she’s a hypocrite, Rinna gave a half-hearted apology on Twitter. “I apologize to Miss Montag if my words were taken and used against her in the press. I did not slam her or her surgeries for the record.” Hmm…maybe she just pulled off the cover so her kids wouldn’t think massive cosmetic overhauls were newsworthy.
[Photos: Getty Images]
It’s a good thing Tila Tequila‘s retirement from Twitter lasted less than 24 hours – imagine if she had to write a whole blog post while having a potential miscarriage? Everyone’s favorite attention addict dropped some distressing tweets concerning her alleged pregnancy yesterday: “Just woke up in the middle of the night cuz im having these intense sharp pains in my belly. it hurts so much that Im crying wtf.” Wtf, indeed, as explained she was still planning to take a plane to Australia for a concert (“The hospital says if it gets worse I need to go back and see them but how?? I have to go to Australia today…”). Refusing to take an ambulance (“I HATE AMBULANCE! They call all the paparazzi’s & its so invasive & everyone all up in my business”), Tila continued to describe her excruciating pain to her fans (“its like sharp knife stabbing pains thats unbearable =(…Im going 2 pray 4 my lil Angel in so much pain right now Im gonna see if I have any advil or something but I cant even walk it hurts so bad!“) as she waited for her private doctor (SHE DOES NOT ALLOW PAPARAZZIS TO HER OFFICE!!!!”).
Thankfully, a phone call came to take her mind off her pained, pregnant belly. “Ok are you ready for this??? I just got off the phone with the adoption agency I’ve been working with for a while and guess what???????????” she tweeted an hour after her last pain-induced frown emoticon. “I have been APPROVED to adopt my own baby boy 2-3 years old from RUSSIA!!!! I will be his Mommy by the end of the year!!” Two hours after that good news, she was back to her old ways, posting links to a “super duper sexy milf photoshoot video” and waxing poetic about this 2-year-old Russian child named Jayden awaiting her tender, loving care (“I woke up today depressed sick & in pain. But then I got that phone call and it changed my life! IM SO HAPPY! MY LITTLE GUY! Aww he so cute!”). By the time she skipped off to her Aussie-bound plane as pictured above, she declared Monday “the happiest day of my life.” And what about the baby allegedly nside her, you ask? Sorry, guys, that’s really none of your business.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
John Mayer gave an apology on both Twitter and on stage for dropping the N-bomb in his Playboy interview, but GLAAD would like to see another of the singer’s other poor word choices be acknowledged as well. Along with describing his white supremacist genitalia and Jessica Simpson‘s “sexual napalm,” Mayer let a bad word slide when he recalled a tongue bath he once gave to Perez Hilton. “It was New YearÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Eve and I decided to go out and destroy myself…I remember seeing Perez Hilton flitting about this club and acting as though he had just invented homosexuality. All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody—almost as if I hated f–s…I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s how disgusting this kiss was. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m a little ashamed.” Just a little?
GLAAD responded to his anecdote on their blog. “Just as Mayer indicated in his apology, that he meant no offense in his use of the racist slur, we hope the intent behind his use of the F-word was not malicious. As a public figure with millions of fans, Mayer should be more cognizant of the impact his casual use of both slurs can have…As a talented musician who has made comments supportive of the LGBT community in the past, we expect more from John Mayer and ask that he apologize.Ã¢â‚¬Â John hasn’t tweeted since Wednesday’s mea culpas…will he come back to acknowledge everyone else he pissed off?
Though their relationship has had its ups and downs, Ashton Kutcher still thinks making a high-profile commitment to Twitter was a great lifestyle choice. “The immediacy of it is great. The connection people have with each other and the pool of individuals out there. It’s a beautiful environment,” he told Britain’s Metro. “You can take the control back in your relationship with the media. You can dictate your own view. My ability to self-publish has resulted in a big reduction in strangers following me around with cameras.”
Not so fast, Ash. While a Twitter feed allows for a certain amount of control, the lack of paps around the Valentine’s Day star may have something to do with his willingness to supply so much gristle for fans (not every celeb wants to put their wife’s ass online) and the fact that his private life seems pretty banal. We’re sure the cameramen would be piled up outside his door if Demi Moore ever had reason to pull an Elin Nordegren on him, whether or not he was posting blurry photos from his hotel room.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have taken legal action against the British tabloid News Of The World for claiming the celebs have made legal plans to separate. “The News of the World has failed to meet our clients’ reasonable demands for a retraction of and apology for these false and intrusive allegations which have now been widely republished by mainstream news outlets,” said a member of their legal team. “We have advised them to bring proceedings which they have now done.” It might surprise you that they’re only suing one tabloid, considering how many rumors they’ve endured over the last five years, but the popularity of the story—remember last month’s rush of #Brangelinabreakup tweets?—and that it came from Britain, where libel laws put the weight of proof on the publisher, make it a perfect opportunity for Brangelina to strike back at the vultures who would dare doubt their eternal love.
Ironically, the tabloid happens to be owned by Rupert Murdoch‘s News Corporation, which also runs Fox. That studio happens to be the home of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, the film that sparked the gossip magnet that is Brangelina in the first place. The couple has yet to say whether they are seeking monetary damages.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Amanda Bynes said she and Kid Cudi were “just friends” last September, but the Hairspray star’s Twitter feed has featured so many bizarre, coy messages concerning a new romantic partner that gossip folks can’t help but find clues connecting them to the “Day ‘N’ Nite” rapper. What we know:
- The focus of her fascination is not Drake. “We have a mutual friend but we haven’t met yet! So for some reason people think we’re dating but we’re not lol!”
- But he was up for a Grammy or two. “I’m irritated that a certain guy didn’t win certain awards.”
- He lives in NY. “Wish he lived in NY and had a pad in LA! but when I get married I’m gonna get a house with my husband in the hills hehe :)”
- He might be black.Ã‚Â “So turns out i prefer chocolate over vanilla. interesting :)”
- And he’s definitely a sex god. “It’s amaziing how good it feels when someone knows how to love your body! I am having withdrawals from a certain guy lol :)”
If he’s Kid Cudi, he also has a girlfriend, model Jamie Baratta. But no matter who the object of Bynes’ affection is, she might want to consider chilling out for a day—or week. In the last twelve hours she’s posted “I can’t fall for you if you’re not there to catch me :),” “in most situations both people involved are feeling the exact same thing :)” and “I feel like any guy that’s afraid of getting married is trying to hide something! real men want to have a wifey!” Every think about just e-mailing these needy pleas to whomever they’re for, Amanda? Posting them on top of your Maxim lingerie shots…it’s just a little desperate.
Werewolf fight! New Moon star Alex Meraz bared his claws on Twitter last night, slamming the all-star rom-com extravaganza Valentine’s Day, featuring fellow lycanthrope Taylor Lautner. “Sorry Taylor but the movie ‘valentines day’ looks lame and desperate it cries out’look we have all the biggest starz in 1movie pleez watch!’” Woah, Alex! Is that really much more desperate than “we have brooding vampires and shirtless hunks of beef that can toss women over their backs and leap up trees?”
Meraz was quick to clarify that he wasn’t dissing the numerous celebs (and potential future co-workers) themselves, “P.S. it has nothing to do with the talented actors in the movie I just don’t like the producer & Directors ‘get rich quick skeem’ nuff said” (shirtless guys in glass ‘skeems’ shouldn’t throw tweets, buddy). But a flurry of negative attention got him to change his tune in less than two hours. “Talk about biting the hand that feeds me…but I’m a wolf for crying out loud! I’ll be careful next time I spill twitter all over everyone.” We’ll forgive you this time, Alex, if only because “I’m a wolf, for crying out loud!” is one of the best excuses for a thoughtless Tweet ever.
[Photo: Getty Images]