The holidays are a time to celebrate goodwill for all human kind. And that’s cool and all, but that stuff gets sort of old after a while. So now let’s take a minute and take a look at all famous folks who didn’t get the peace and harmony memo! We’ve assembled our list of the top 20 most brutal celebrity beat-downs of 2012. Join us in a chant of “Fight fight fight!” and check it out!
Rob Kardashian didn’t handle his heartbreak all that great following his split with Rita Ora. Instead of posting passive aggressive Facebook statuses like the rest of us, he went on an all-out Twitter assault against his former flame, claiming that she cheated on him with 20 dudes, and coining the obvious pun, “Rita Whora,” which became a trending topic soon after. #Revenge? #SmallVictories
Well, looks like this whole debacle worked itself out on its own! Miley Cyrus can replace Angus T. Jones on Two And A Half Men following his disparaging remarks about the show, and Angus T. Jones can accept Charlie Sheen‘s offer to appear on Anger Management. It’s perfect really, seeing as how (if we remember correctly) Angus T. Jones love utter raunch. Because there is no way on this spinning blue marble that Sheen’s new FX sitcom won’t be as dirty or dirtier than TAAHM.
Of course, Angus hasn’t accepted the informal offer…yet. “My former nephew is welcome at the Goodson Anger Management home anytime,” Charlie told ABC News today. Personally, we’re completely on board with this idea. It’s time for Jones to move on to his next project: a wholesome show in which Charlie Sheen offers life advice to a parade of characters grappling with boiling rage. It’s basically the next Touched By An Angel! After all, as HuffPo points out, this week’s Two And A Half Men featured Jones’ character contracting an STD from his girlfriend, a development he was excited about…because it proves he was having sex. Yikes. Maybe a college degree isn’t the worst life decision for you right now, Angus. It rarely is.
VH1′s very own Halle Kiefer called it yesterday: Miley Cyrus may become Two And A Half Men‘s newest “half man.” If you believe the latest reports from our friends over at Celebuzz, that is! Television insiders are telling the site that Miley is being courted to fill Angus T. Jones’ role on the long running series after he likely departs at the end of the season.
“There are talks to replace Angus and the perfect person would be Miley Cyrus,” says the source. “The episodes that she appeared on brought in the highest ratings of the season.” Miley appeared in two episodes last month as southern firecracker Missi, the daughter of Walter’s old friend. “When she was on set she was pleasant and very enjoyable to work with. She won everyone over. Now the whispers are growing louder. People involved in the show want Miley to replace Angus.”
Surprisingly absolutely no one, word came today that Angus T. Jones will “likely” be leaving Two And A Half Men after this season. It turns out, most people’s bosses don’t like when you publicly refer to your workplace as “filth” and encourage people to avoid it. It’s a lesson each employee must learn. Of course, Jones’ alleged departure is really only one sign that Two And A Half Men has run its course. In case you needed more persuading, consider the fact that…
Two and a Half Men star Angus T. Jones‘apology statement released yesterday makes it pretty clear that someone quite firmly reminded him that no matter what new opinions he holds of his hit sitcom, that “filth” pays him a whole lot of money. Money he could probably put to some good Christian use, if he chooses. Hence the contrite words: “I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed.”
But if exec producer Chuck Lorre and company decide to send Angus the way of his former onscreen uncle Charlie Sheen, that doesn’t have to mean the end of the 19-year-old’s career. He could join these five other celebrities who turned their born-again Christianity into brand-new gigs:
1. Stephen Baldwin
The Baldwin bro visited Good Morning America today and voiced his support and sympathy for Jones, as someone who’s experienced a backlash against his outspoken ways (seriously, this guy called Obama a “cultural terrorist” once). “As a Christian, I had a casting director come up to me two years ago and say, ‘I’m really sorry because I’ve brought your name up in castings for a while now and they all just kind of look at me like I’m crazy,” he said. Now, he’s gone “full-blown faith-based,” acting in Christian themed movies like Loving the Bad Man, about a woman who forgives her rapist. Ick. And then he’ll be back on Celebrity Apprentice soon, which is full-blown … something else.
Not a problem, dude! If Reba McEntire commanded us to stop watching Malibu Country, we’d fight her to the death for our right to quality television. If the half man from Two And A Half Men doesn’t want us to watch him cut up with Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer…well, we’ll at least listen to what he has to say. “If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it and filling your head with filth,” Angus T. Jones says in a video testimony for the Forerunner Christian Church.” He later adds “You cannot be a true God-fearing person and be on a television show like that. I know I can’t. I’m not OK with what I’m learning, what the bible says and being on that television show.” The quotes start at around the 7:30 mark, so maybe the show’s producer Chuck Lorre hasn’t heard it yet? We usually don’t watch any videos longer than three minutes, so it’s a distinct possibility. If he has, boy, those vanity cards are about to get sassy!
In Angus’s defense…he’s exactly not wrong about TAAHM being pervy. For example, there was an episode of Two And A Half Men where Charlie Sheen sleeps with an entire coven of witches. No, seriously. In fact, anyone who has seen the show will tell you it’s beyond raunchy. The only question is, is it raunchy enough for Angus T. Jones to give up his $350,000 an episode?
I’ve been staring at these photos of Miley Cyrus from her upcoming guest appearance on Two and a Half Men all day now. And while you might get hung up on the photo of her in cute lingerie, sitting in bed with a shirtless Ashton Kutcher, that’s not what compelled me most. Something about the other two cute outfits appealed to me on an entirely different level, and I finally put my finger on it. Miley is totally channeling all the ladies I looked up to in the ’90s! She’s got the skimpy floral thing that characterized oh so many of Tiffani Amber Thiessen’s Kelly Kapowski costumes on Saved By the Bell. And then the combat boots and punky hairstyle that remind me of the edgy feminine styles of Courtney Love, Juliana Hatfield and all the other ladies who stared back at me from the pages of my Sassy magazine. I kind of love it. How about you? Enjoy a little Kelly love and then check out the full Miley pics below.
In short-hair-girl solidarity, I have to say I rather love Miley Cyrus’ new hairdo. The spunky blond pixie cut gives her a Robyn-like edge to match her attitude. But now that we know Miley is set to appear in several episodes of Two and a Half Men, we wonder if she cut it specifically for the role. She’s set to play a possible love interest for the titular “Half” man, Jake (Angus T. Jones), who we’re shocked to hear (sorry, we don’t watch) is already a teenager on the show. Jones is 18, just a year younger than Miley.
So now we’re wondering, did Miley find out last week, like we did, just how much Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer make on this show? And then was she reminded how Ashton shed his beard and long hair halfway through the season for his character’s storyline? After watching her movie LOL waste away in no-man’s land this summer, we can just imagine the Hannah Montana star thinking she needed some kind of way to remind the world that she’s more than just a frequently tweeting, naked-picture leaking, fiancee of a Hunger Games star. Not that we ever forgot, mind you. But Hollywood has long-term memory trouble.
Whatever the reason, we’re excited to see Miley show off her funny side again. And yes, we really love the hair.
The company is going to be coughing up Ã‚Â $25 million to hand over to him in the next two weeks, as that’s what they owe him for his work. But check this out. Considering Charlie did just under 200 episodes for the show, the syndication profits to be given to him over the next 7-10 years may add up to around $100 MILLION. Which means we’re going to hear him laughing all the way to the bank for the next decade. Chuck Lorre should invest in some earplugs right about now.
It had to happen someday. TV’s biggest night brought with it a meeting of equally epic proportions, as Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher met face to face for the first time. Unfortunately the Men-star summit took place backstage at the Nokia Theater and was not part of the Emmy broadcast. What were the producers thinking?! But luckily these few precious twit-pix survive of two, courtesy of Sheen himself. What could have been one of the greatest showdowns in award show history was actually incredibly cordial, even warm. “Giving the new kid a little advice..!” Chaz captioned the picture above to Kutcher. “Seriously… great talking to you! We’ll all be watching! Make us proud!!” Ashton responded in kind by writing, “Good to meet you too. Wishing you the best on your new gig.” Awww. It’s like a passing of the bizarro torch. Ashton will have his own pornstar entourage in no time!
Sheen is showing his mellower side these days. Maybe he’s kicked the drug called “Charlie Sheen” in favor of a drug called lithium. Last week he hit the talk show circuit and expressed remorse for his outbursts last winter. And last night he even addressed the assembled television gliteratti with a heartfelt (if awkward) message. “I want to take a moment to get something off my chest and say a few words to everyone here from Two and a Half Men,” he began. “From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best from this upcoming season. We spent eight wonderful years together, and I know you will continue to make great television.” Charlie says that he’s throwing a viewing party to watch the premiere of a Sheen-less Two And A Half Men tonight. Will you be tuning in too? Let us know!