Charlie Sheen became something of a folk hero in the early part of this year for going Hollywood rogue and basically bringing out the bats–t crazy in all of us. He famously kamakazi’d his multi-million dollar part on Two And A Half Men, went on a bizarro PR campaign that makes Whitney Houston look like a librarian, and then hit the road on a stadium tour of people who just wanted to watch Chaz high on the finest Columbian Sheen. You know, just basically winning left right and center.
But that was the old (manic) Charlie. The new post-Comedy Central Roast Charlie is going around atoning for his showbiz sins, saying that he wasn’t #winning, but actually “losing”. Say what!? Who are you and what have you done with our beloved national treasure of a trainwreck!? The actor appeared on The Tonight Showlast night, and actually appeared sorry for all of the craziness of the winter. “I realized I was pretty much ‘losing!’ I thought I could come back…kind of like you did,” he told host Jay Leno. He also says that he has no grudge against the Two And A Half Men producers. ”No, I’d have fired my ass, too,” he admitted. He also bears no ill-will towards the series new star, Ashton Kutcher. “I would just give him a hug and just say, ‘Make me proud, dude.’” Awww…*single tear of tigerblood*. We thought he’d release the warlocks on Ashton for sure!
Who knows, maybe Charlie’s starting to mellow. But not to worry, folks! You can party with 80s-90s era Chaz in the gallery below anytime you want!
She said no, people! Denise Richards was offered a Two and a Half Men guest star role for its premiere episode, but she’s turned it down! Not hard to imagine why, right? She’s still the mother of ex-husband Charlie Sheen‘s children so she isn’t touching the show with a bargepole. Not for altruistic reasons, though. Denise is of the opinion that Charlie would make life hell for her if she went anywhere near the Ashton Kutcher starring series!
Sources linked with the show’s production revealed that the deal fell through because, “She would never hear the end of it from Charlie.” Fair enough reason, we think. But we also think that the casting decision may have been Chuck Lorre having a bit of fun with his nemesis. Good thing that Denise is steering clear of the drama.
This is one BALLIN’ trailer, guys. It’s the Anderson Mobile Estate tricked out pony which doesn’t have just one floor. It has two, the second of which hydraulically emerges from the main body of the trailer. It also has seven 60-inch 3-D plasma TVs, two bathrooms, akitchen and a wireless touch screen that controls all amenities like the A.C, heat and the blinds. This is seriously Hollywood luxury, right? So which T.V star is lucky enought to have this trailer all to himself on set? Any guesses? Read more…
Meeeeeeeeen! The reports are in, and Ashton Kutcher’s Two And A Half Men character is allegedly named Walden Schmidt, “an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.” Schmidt reportedly scoops up the Men house in the first two episodes, following Charlie Harper’s funeral during the season premiere. So what we’re hearing is that there is a teeny, tiny chance Walden could be the reincarnation of Charlie Sheen‘s perverted uncle. Just let us live our dream a little longer, okay?
CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler announced the character this week, though did not announce why a despondent fat cat would hang out with some whiner and his adolescent son after buying their house. Maybe Walden adopts Angus T. Jones as his son and keeps Jon Cryer as some sort of obnoxious coat rack? It all sounds a little odd, but then again, who would have guessed a socially awkward mad scientist neighbor would work on a sitcom, and yet Family Matters pulled it off for nine glorious seasons. Meeeeeeeeen!
Get ready, because Two And A Half Men is about to get even less funny. The sitcom’s long awaited return to the airwaves in September will feature a funeral for Charlie Sheen’s character. Considering the acrimonious split between Sheen and the production, we bet that the scenes will probably serve as a giant middle finger pointed defiantly at the one with tiger blood coursing through his veins. Revenge is best served cold as a corpse, and at prime time.
We’re also getting an insight as to how Ashton Kutcher arrives at Casa Del Charlie. After the funeral, Jon Cryer puts the Malibu mansion up for sale, and various celebrity guest stars show up for a viewing. Ashton is apparently the lucky buyer, ushering in a whole new era of hijinks. We have no idea why Ashton agrees to take the place with one and a half men still living inside (to act as servants?), but this show could go on forever with this technique. Or at least until Cryer and half-man Angus T. Jones put a stop to it. Come on guys, you’re our only hope.
If you look back through the mists of time, you might recall that it was Charlie Sheen’s hotel meltdown that kicked off the actor’s epic tour de insanity, which ended with his exit fromTwo And A Half Men. Denise Richards sure can remember it. In fact, her memory is so clear, she’s finally telling her side of the bizarre story to USWeekly. The tale starts like most Charlie Sheen stories: with porn stars gathered around the supper table. “Charlie invited me to this dinner with ‘friends,’ and once I realized what these women did for a living, I thought, ‘It’s one meal; you can suck it up and get through it,”says Richards of the incident last fall. “It’s not my place to judge how they make a paycheck.” Maybe it isn’t your place to judge, Denise, but can’t we agree it’s your place to immediately tell everyone and their grandma about it? If it was our ex-husband, we would have been on the phone with the press before they hosed the cocaine off of him.
Later that night after putting daughters Sam and Lola to bed, Denise says, “About an hour later, I was awakened by sounds outside my door, including walkie-talkies, which is never a good sign. A few minutes later, the cops showed up. Several officers went into Charlie’s room, and a sergeant came into mine.” And the rest…is history. Really depressing history. Richards reveals even more true Sheen-ius in her new memoir Real Girl Next Door, describing interesting Charlie facts such as the actor’s unyielding paranoia. “His bedroom doorÃ¢â‚¬Â¦was bulletproof,” Richards writes. “A fire pole was in the closet (which one of our cats fell through, but he was okay) in case a quick escape to the ground floor was necessary. And the house had a panic room.” Scratch that: we would have had a reporter on the phone the second our cat fell down the poll. Lord only knows how the porn stars were managing it.
After hisTwo And A Half Men saga seemed to drag out for months, it looks like we might soon get to see Charlie Sheen’s new show, where he’ll star as a sophisticated, somewhat foppish psychoanalyst living in Seattle with his cranky father and a Jack Russell terrier. Oh sorry, that’s actually Frasier. “Charlie has inked a deal with Lionsgate Television to create and star in a new sitcom. Charlie’s character will be very similar to the one he played on Two And a Half Men, however the show will be a lot racier,” an inside told RadarOnline. Consider how filthy Men used to be, this sounds like it could be the first NC-17 sitcom to hit cable. Which is probably just what cable has been waiting for.
Lucky for Sheen he had his lucky break this week, to ease his romantic angst. Earlier today rumors swirled that Charlie Sheen and Natalie Kenley have broken up, meaning that Sheen is officially goddess-less. That being said, if rumors of a network and cable bidding war on the new show are true, Charlie will be able to purchase the services of three, maybe even nine or twelve, great new girlfriends soon enough.
Looks like The People won’t have the chance to shower Charlie Sheen with the millions he (feels he) rightly deserves. A judge has denied Sheen the public trial he was angling for in his $100 million lawsuit against Warner Bros. after they threw him off Two And A Half Men. Instead, Sheen’s lawyers will have to engage in arbitration as his contract initially stipulated. You don’t have to be a bipolar multi-millionaire sitcom star going through withdrawal to shout “BORING!” between nervous tics at that news.
This loss for Mr. #Winning could be a bad sign for his case, leading the star to take quick settlement for far less than he’s currently asking (though he’d still make more than most of us would in a lifetime). With a new sitcom for Sheen being discussed, it might be in everyone’s best interest to get this whole matter settled anyway. We can’t imagine CBS still wants this story in the headlines when Ashton Kutcher’s debut on the show comes this fall, and Charlie probably just wants a paycheck now.
You can’t keep a good man down. You also can’t keep a crazy warlock down, unless you have a net and a nearly unlimited supply of tiger’s blood. While Ashton Kutcher’s Two And A Half Men might be shipping Uncle Charlie off to Paris, Charlie Sheen’s new show might debut as soon as January 2012. TMZ reports that Sheen is in talks regarding a “big offer” for a new series. Very few details about the show have been released, but it’s supposedly written specifically for Charlie and will go directly into production. Reportedly the actor is in “deep negotiations” that could be wrapped up by the end of the week. Is anyone else imagining Charlie as a sassy New York nanny? A sassy British butler? A teenage nerd with a love for cheese and the propensity for bothering his next door neighbors, the Winslows?
Jon Cryer really must not read his show’s press. Despite Charlie Sheen‘s life-long history of drug abuse, whoring and violence—a history Two And A Half Men was partly based around—the guy’s old co-star swore to David Letterman he had no idea that Charlie was headed for a meltdown. “It’s as much a mystery to me as to everyone, I think,” he explained. “My favorite moment was I got a text from someone, saying, ‘Charlie Sheen just called Thomas Jefferson a —y.’ I said, ‘I think things are getting out of hand.’” And they weren’t when Charlie was 9/11 truthing and attacking his wife with a knife after a drug crazed night in Aspen? People should text Jon more often.
Despite Charlie slandering the author our nation’s constitution, Jon says he’s still got plenty of love for the guy. “I love him, he’s a great friend,” he said. “All of us, none of us wanted to continue with the show if we felt like it was hurting him, and there was a point at which, we felt like, there’s no control over him.” Maybe he’s just saying these things because he doesn’t want Charlie to hurt him.