89-year-old Edna Jester had had it up to here with her neighbor’s balls. Her next door neighbors had five children and were always leaving their balls in her yard. Finally, she started taking them inside her house. But Kelly Tannis thought Jester should leave her children’s balls alone. “This time it was a ball that my son had just bought with his own money. He works and he makes his own money, and he bought that ball, and six days later she took it.” So she called the cops, who arrested Jester when she refused to return the kid’s ball (she now claims she was going to return it, but not right away, as she’d be a “laughing stock”).
There’s a moral here, Scandalist readers: It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter how annoying those kids are, or how often their balls wind up in your yard. Keep your hands off children’s balls.
Kirsten Dunst is the latest celebrity encouraging voters to get out there. In a new PSA, in which the starlet’s voice and face are curiously distorted, she says, “Hi! I’m a famous Hollywood actress. I get paid to show my face and I’ve been in a lot of movies…But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you vote on Tuesday, November 4th.” The PSA encourages voters to find their polling place at WhyTuesday.org.
Mark Wahlberg plays a great bully. The Departed, I Heart Huckabees, Three Kings, Four Brothers—let him push people around and he’s hilarious. So more people should have realized that Wahlberg wasn’t really mad when he saw Andy Samberg‘s hysterical “Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals” skit on Saturday Night Live. Waxing nostalgic for Joe Piscopo? Telling Jimmy Kimmel he’s going to break Samberg’s nose? He’s not really steamed, folks. It’s an act.
How do we know? Because instead of breaking Samberg’s nose on SNL saturday, Wahlberg asked Amy Poehler, Josh Brolin (“You were the Goonies movie, right? I produce Entourage!”) and a live donkey to say hi to their mothers for him (sadly, he didn’t ask Sarah Palin). No word on whether Brolin has passed Wahlberg’s sentiments on to stepmother Barbra Streisand.
AllHiphop.com has confirmed earlier reports that comedian/singer Rudy Ray Moore passed away on Sunday from complications from diabetes. While Moore is best known for classic blaxploitation comedies such as Dolemite and The Human Tornado, he also released an impressive amount of risque comedy albums, like Eat Out More Often, The Cockpit and This Ain’t No White Christmas! His risque rhymes (“He think he’s bad and ain’t got no class! I’m gon’ rock this shotgun up his muthaf*ckin’ ass!”) made him a major influence on rap—just ask Snoop Dogg, who collaborated with Moore.
Take a look at his X-rated album covers in the gallery. After the jump, some of Moore’s proudest cinematic moments.
Following a pretty storming appearance on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross last week, where she skewered the British chat show host quite brilliantly, you’d expect Sarah Silverman to go down well on her first ever UK stand-up performance, last night at London’s Hammersmith Apollo. But it was not to be — and she found herself on the receiving end of boos and catcalls from the audience when she ended her set after just 40 minutes. Fans who’d paid up to $85 (£50) for a ticket were raging at the perceived lack of value for money as a lot of her set came from the Jesus is Magic DVD. You can make British people wait in line for two days, we’ll say “sorry” when you barge into us, but GIVE US VALUE FOR MONEY, dammit.
“It was a great show – what more do you want? Go home!”, she said, after being forced back onto stage. But comments from concert-goers dubbed her set “unprofessional [and] boring” and said,”I have never been more p*ssed off at paying £45 to see someone so unentertaining and completely unprepared.”
We bet Sarah’s quaking in her boots at the barrage of criticism posted by anonymous web users. Grrr. But seriously Sarah — weren’t we worth more effort? (Actually, don’t answer that) [Source: Times Online, The London Paper; Photo: Getty Images]
Obviously we’re all counting the days until Who’s Nailin’ Palin comes out. Just the thought of porn stars portraying characters based on Sarah Palin, Condi Rice and Hillary Clinton engaging in a threesome gets us all hot and bothered. The only thing better than being politically active is being sexually active, obviously! Lucky for us pervs, the first minute of Hustler‘s political porno has leaked onto the web, and we’ve got it for you above. While there’s no hardcore booty action in the clip, you can tell it’s gonna head there real fast. Forget the election, focus on these erections instead!
As we told you earlier this week, Madonna and her Material Guy are kaput after eight years of faux-English-accented, long-distance matrimony. And while we aren’t exactly surprised, we’re certainly bummed for everyone involved. After weeks of rumors, an “affair of the heart” and finally Madonna’s diss the other night at her Boston show, we decided that what everyone needs is a little healing, and nothing heals a heartbreak like music. Since we refuse to take sides in this (we’re totally fair like that), we’ve made two playlists of videos specifically tailored to the experience each is having. So while they’re sorting through their ginormous piles of money this weekend, they’ll have a little something to listen to.
Katy Perry had her cake and ate sh*t too – like four times. The “I Kissed A Girl” singer performed at the MTV Latin American Awards in Guadalajara, Mexico and then jumped into a huge cake after she was done singing. Then she tried to get up and slipped around in the frosting, falling over several times.
BritneySpears.com has been relaunched into a peppy, glossy, glammed up site, one that matches Britney’s transformation over the past few months. Nothing says major personal and professional growth like a revamped website! Brit’s even showing us the “real her” with a bunch of videos, starting with this one introducing us to her site. We love seeing our girl in a more intimate setting, but as usual she’s been trained to behave like a robot, reciting words off a giant note card and smiling on cue. No one wants the Britney of 2007 to reemerge, but does the new and improved starlet need to be kept on such a short leash? A few British accent moments would really spice things up a bit. Please, Larry Rudolph, please? [BritneySpears.com]