Well, not exactly. Some hero out there has taken it upon herself to create a bunch of web videos impersonating our favorite trapped robot Katie Holmes, in which she hides in a closet ranting about her famous life. Her impression is so good, it’s hard at times not to believe it’s really Mrs. Cruise. They’re funny, yes – watch the one above – but some are super creepy, which is surely an accurate assessment of Katie’s day to day. Poor thing.
It sucks when your guy friends don’t get along with your new man, or your woman, in Lindsay Lohan‘s case. Girls Gone Wild owner Joe Francis ripped into Lindsay’s lady love Samantha Ronson, calling her “huffy” and saying, “Sam has taken ownership of Lindsay.” Joe even says that Samantha almost hit him the other night at a party when he tried to talk to his pal and described Lindsay’s girlfriend as “really jealous.” Joe doesn’t see what Lindsay likes in Samantha and disses the DJ saying, “I mean, if I liked dudes, I’d probably like Samantha Ronson too.” Joe also insists that Lindsay is not truly a Celesbian, and is really straight deep down. “If Sam were to let Lindsay go even that much, she would revert back to being straight-and normal.” [Source:E! Online]
- We didn’t think it was possible, but Best Week Ever has found the funniest video ever. Watch above. Laugh forever. [BWE.tv]
- Sienna Miller was spotted lunching with Claire Danes‘ boyfriend Hugh Dancy. We’d feel for Claire, except that she kinda did that whole man-stealing thing herself. Karma-time! [PopSugar]
- Did Nicole Richie move out because Mischa Barton hit on her man? We can dream, right. [DListed]
- Barack Obama said thanks, but no thanks, to Lindsay Lohan‘s offer to campaign for him. [Gawker]
- Look out! Cat lady Jocelyn Wildenstein is loose and terrorizing the streets of Los Angeles! [Seriously? OMG]
Britney Spears‘ mama Lynne Spears appeared on Today this morning and chit chatted with Meredith Viera and Al Roker about how her family went from “there to here.” There being when daughters Britney and Jamie-Lynn were young, fresh-faced starlets and here being a distraught, disturbed mother-of two shaving her head and a pregnant teenager, respectively. Lynne blames the turmoil surrounding Britney’s life on her absence, but claims it wasn’t possible to be there. “Did I want to be there? Of course!” she said. “Was it feasible? It wasn’t.” Lynne equates sending Britney off into the shark infested waters of celebritydom as just like when, “Our kids go to college…Britney set off two years earlier to be a star.” At one time, Lynne claims when Britney wasn’t speaking to her, she considered resorting to scaling the fence of her gated community.
Even if you’ve overdosed on politics during this election, you shouldn’t miss Saturday Night Live‘s skit last night of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton making a joint nonpartisan appearance to stand up against sexism. Tina Fey, who looks uncannily like the vice presidential candidate without even trying, hilariously nailed Palin as a “mouse-gutting” Alaskan who believes “global warming is just God huggin’ us closer” and is adept at foreign policy because she can see Russia from her house. But the funniest quips of the night came after Amy Poehler, lampooning Clinton as a bitter “boner-shrinker,” called for an end to sexism, and the two comedians launched into a tirade of complaints:
Palin: “So please stop photoshopping my head on sexy bikini pictures.”
Clinton: “Stop saying I have kankles.”
Palin: “Don’t refer to me as a MILF.”
Clinton: “And don’t refer to me as a flirg. I Googled it and I do not like it.”
It’s up for debate whether Palin would make a good vice president, but no one can argue that she doesn’t make for great comedy. Bonus: fake Sarah Palin bikini pic after the jump.
MTV News reported today that Beyonce “filmed a video for an undisclosed song in New York on Thursday.” Full disclosure: That song is titled “If I Were a Boy,” and it’s one of two tracks that will be released on Oct. 7 in advance of her upcoming album. Beyonce, looking finer than any of New York’s Finest, shot the video in Harlem. The New York Post managed to film about 30 very boring seconds of Beyonce walking around on the set. Watch below.
Not much is known about the as of yet unnamed album, due out November 18. But
Justin Timberlake is collaborating with her in the studio this week. According to MTV News via Beyonce’s label, the diva co-wrote or co-produced all of the material on the album and it’s her “most personal, reflective and revelatory collection to-date.” [Photo: Splash News Online]
Hillary Clinton may be hesitant to attack Sarah Palin, but Hollywood celebrities don’t seem to have any reservations. While Jon Voight has praised “the simplicity of her poise and experience,” it looks like most younger stars believe her experience is too simplistic. Check out some clips of the loudest mouths speaking out against the Republican nominee for vice president.
- Matt Damon: “I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. That’s an important—I want to know that. I really do. Because she’s going to have the nuclear codes, you know.”
- Pamela Anderson: “I can’t stand her. She can suck it!”
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi made this adorable video of their big day, and it’s perfect if you need a good ol’ heartfelt cry. Get the tissues ready.
OK so it’s Episode Two and Naomi has daddy issues, Silver has mommy issues and Dixon can, like, totally understand because he’s adopted and has spent a lot of time around drunk people!
Naomi — the apparent butt of the 90210 stylist’s joke — changes from her all-denim jumper (shorts?!!?) into a more, um, sophisticated silk pantsuit with matching pantaloons and Bride of Frankenstein hair to discover her father is a cheater and her mother doesn’t care! Thankfully this scene allows her pill-popping, severe-banged best friend to deliver the best line of the night:
Naomi: “You sound pitchy.”
Pill-Popper: “Uh, You sound bitchy!”
Hilarious, right? Cue Naomi’s signature horse-faced whinny!
At first, like the rest of the nation, we felt bad when we heard the news that Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady will miss the entire season after the Chiefs tore up his knee. But then we came up with 12 off-the-field activities to help Brady idle away the time — and manning the Patriots’ spygate camera isn’t one of them. Believe us, you don’t need to feel bad for him. View the photos to see why.