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James Franco Is Bringing His Grandma To The Oscars

Proof once again how unusually young this year’s hosts are—James Franco is bringing his grandmother to the Oscars. “Grandmother is coming to the Oscars. The whole family is coming to the Oscars. That’s one of the nice things about being the host is you get to invite a bunch of people, so they are all coming.” Expect Granny, already a star on Funny Or Die, to get some screen time. “She can’t wait for it either. Every day she counts the number of hits that she gets. I think we’re up to 400,000. She gives me updates.”

While this is undeniably a sweet gesture to the family Franco, we kinda feel bad for aging front-row regulars like Jack Nicholson. It’s bad enough they have to watch these sexy young studs dance around with their skinny bodies and working hip bones—now they’re going to have to make small talk with these whippersnappers’ grandparents? Ah well, Jack’ll probably still appreciate Anne Hathaway.

Watch James’ video with Grandma in the gallery below—the hits will make her happy!

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Ashton And Demi Booed At Brazilian Fashion Show

No, that eerie wailing in the video above is not how Brazilians normally welcome movie stars. Paparazzi outside the Colcci show at Sao Paolo Fashion Week this weekend let Ashton Kutcher and wife Demi Moore have it after the pair showed up three hours late for the red carpet. Though Ashton hasn’t acknowledged the slight on Twitter, he has apologized for unsuccessfully using Google Translate to try and send a message in Portuguese to fans down south.  “I want to invent a social translation platform where we can wiki edit evolve translation,” he sighed. That Ashton, always brainstorming.

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by (@unclegrambo)

New York Jets Football Coach Embroiled In Foot Fetish Video Controversy

michelle-ryan-foot-fetish-550rnrnChristmas came early for the pun-loving headline writers of the New York tabloids when Deadspin broke the story that the wife of New York Jets coach Rex Ryan may have starred in a series of kinky foot fetish videos. The sports blog discovered that a woman featured in a number of YouTube videos uploaded to an account called “ihaveprettyfeet” not only bore a striking resemblance to Rex Ryan’s wife of 23 years, Michelle Ryan, but that the two also shared a number of common traits: Both are Virgos, were born in August of 1963, are listed at 5’2″ and, at one time, resided in Ellicott City, MD. Even more damning? The voice of the camera person in one of the videos sounds remarkably like the distinctively gruff-voiced Rex. Whoops!rnrnNow, clearly, what a happily married couple does in their private life behind closed doors is really none of anyone’s business. Rex Ryan said as much at a news conference yesterday in front of dozens of salivating beat writers. “Obviously, I knew these questions were coming,” a reportedly humiliated Ryan explained, “But this is a personal matter and I’m not going to discuss it.” However, Ryan has gone out of his way to attract (and subsequently revel in) the media spotlight since becoming the Jets head coach, and these videos were originally posted to one of the most popular websites in the known universe, so he had to know that these questions would surface someday. The moral of the story? If you want to your private moments to stay private, you probably shouldn’t post them to YouTube.rnrnEver wondered what one of these videos looks like? We’ve got one of the (alleged) Michelle Ryan videos for you after the jump. It’s not quite NSFW, but you probably don’t want your boss creeping over your shoulder while you’re watching it.rnrn Read more…

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Jared Leto Had A Hard Time Making S&M-Themed Music Video Less Sexy

30 Seconds To Mars‘ racy, 13-minute short film “Hurricane” is now up at MTV.com (and still not really SFW), but singer Jared Leto says he almost gave up on making an edit the networks would touch. “I had always planned on having an explicit version and then a version that was not so explicit,” he told Entertainment Weekly. “The version that we were trying to get on broadcast is not the explicit version, and that’s still having a really difficult time.” The final version, which has the band menaced by profound iconography and violent men in leather masks while Jared applies various straps and constraints to a female partner (oh mama), is also graced by Leto’s photographer pal Terry Richardson and subliminal shots of erotic naughtiness, some covered by red bars or stills reading “CENSORED,” a la Nine Inch Nails‘ “SCENE MISSING” captions in “Closer.”

Leaking a memo that lays out exactly which shots could only be shown after certain hours,  (“Woman runs finger over other woman’s g-string clad bottom and touches her anus” had to go entirely), Leto’s expressed disappointment that he had to justify his oh-so-artistic venture at all. “I’m not interested in provocation for provocation’s sake. I just think it’s interesting that when you turn on the news or whatever else catches your interest, how much violence and negativity is available out there. As soon as it comes time for sexuality, it’s a big shock that people are sexual beings. It’s an interesting double standard to me.” Fair enough, Jared. We just wish your scintillating exploration of America’s issues with sex and violence wasn’t so damn long! Next time, don’t bother with sexy subplots for the band members who didn’t play Jordan Catalano on My So-Called Life.

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Jared Leto Fan Turns Herself Into Jared Leto

We have a hard enough time getting our eyeliner on straight on the special occasions when we wear makeup at all, so this video is pretty damn impressive. A girl who goes by the screen name selfOblivion posted a clip on YouTube where she makes herself up to look like Jared Leto, and it’s hard to believe that the end result actually isn’t Leto himself.

Over the course of the time-lapsed six minute video, she goes from just your average girl to having the best Halloween costume we’ve ever seen (maybe she can make one of her friends up to be Angela Chase and they can hit the parties together). Jared even Tweeted about it, writing “Holy fkng sh*t. Have you seen this?” which was exactly our reaction too. How cool, and probably a little surreal, is it that he’s actually seen her morph into him though?

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Miley Cyrus Writhes And Shimmies In Her New Video, But We Can’t Help Liking It Anyway

We thought the funniest Miley Cyrus-related video of the week would be “The Miley Cyrus Show” sketch on SNL, but it turns out we were wrong. That honor goes to her new video for the song “Who Owns My Heart.” It’s not that the video itself that’s so funny, but the lyrics sound like they were written by a six year old learning to rhyme, for example: “Who owns my heart?/Is it love or is it art?”. And there you have it, the only time Miley Cyrus and the word “art” will ever meet.

It was only a matter of time before Miley’s videos included her writhing around on satin sheets and shimmying in gold lamé (in short, she is Blanche Devereaux). Please enjoy. And realize that even though we are old and curmudgeonly, the song is insanely catchy and stuck in our head.

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Taylor Momsen’s Music Video Is Actually – Gasp! – Good

The Pretty Reckless - Make Me Wanna Die from Rowan Abeelen on Vimeo.

This might be one of the only positive posts we’ve written about Taylor Momsen, but it’s a holiday weekend, maybe we’re just in an exceptionally good mood. See, Momsen makes it easy for us to hate on her because she’s always making some off-putting comment about her knife collection or about how she’s not a role model but truth be told, her band’s new video is pretty good. The Pretty Reckless have been around for a while now, but this is the first chance we’ve had to see them (and Taylor, who fronts them) in action. The single, called “Make Me Wanna Die” (of course it is) sounds great and we can see why Tay is so set on launching her music career and reducing her Gossip Girl workload. She can really sing!

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Chris Brown’s New Video Is Simultaneously Sexy, Creepy and Hilarious

Oh, Chris Brown. We feel a teeny bit bad for still thinking you’re a creep and yet, every time we’re ready to forgive you, you do something that makes you even more creepy. Like, for instance, this new video for the song “No Bullsh*t” which is all about making sweet love till 9am.

Maybe we’re really 5 years old about this thing, but lyrics about lighting candles and doin’ it for hours and especially the line where he says “I’m a leave it in” make us giggle uncontrollably. And also need a shower. Oh, right, that reminds us, there are lyrics about showering together. So if you like Skinemax and cheesy music, this is the video for you. Enjoy.

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Michael Jackson’s Kids Are The Latest YouTube Stars

Michael Jackson hid his children from the public to avoid media scrutiny, but now that he’s gone, they’ve shown up on YouTube of all places. Blanket and Paris Jackson are featured in several clips that have shown up online recently that appear to have been shot with their computer’s webcam. In the first clip, Paris raps along to a song that’s performed by Omer Bhatti, the man who denied being Michael’s love child. In another, Blanket  gets his nerd on in a fake light saber battle. Bhatti has requested that the clips be removed, but for now, they’re still kicking on the internet. It feels weird and intrusive seeing them hanging out at home, but it’s also impressive that they are such normal kids in spite of what they’ve been through. See the rest of the videos after the jump.

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She’s Like A Bird

The video for Miley Cyrus‘ new song “Can’t be Tamed” is finally out, and we can’t take our eyes off it. In it, Miley plays a tortured Big Bird-type who starts out trapped in a cage and ends up staging her own Night At The Museum adventure, taking her dancing flock with her as they roam the taxidermied halls, flaunting their modern dance in front of other animals who were tamed. The song is actually very Britney-esque and the video definitely shows the mature, un-country side of Miley she’s been trying so hard to put out there. It’s too bad she claims to be quitting music, because she’s hatched a pretty good comeback.