Vogue Germany

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Kate Upton Topless On A Swan: Vogue Germany Makes Sexy A Little Too Fancy For Us Common Folk

Kate Upton appears topless in Vogue Germany

We’re not trying to tell Vogue Germany what to do here, but when you’ve landed Kate Upton for a photo shoot, you don’t need a bunch of elaborate sets and background dressing. Be real, the work just kind of takes care of itself. Just look at Terry Richardson’s pics with the buxom Sports Illustrated bikini model. It looks like he took them in his mother’s basement! So when we saw that Vogue Germany took the uber fancy route and posed Upton in front of a vintage Ferarri, on the back of a huge swan, and in the feild of some rambling estate, it prompted us to offer some helpful advice to the magazine: You’re overdoing it.

Save your budget, guys. Borrow a plastic wading pool, grab some popsicles and we’re good to go! Although to be fair, we caught the accompanying video for the spread last week, and it appeared that Miss Kate was having the time of her life indulging in (at least) 11 female fantasies. So maybe she was the one who asked for all of the expensive stuff as part of the deal!

[Photo: Vogue Germany]

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by (@shalapitcher)

Kate Upton Acts Out At Least 11 Female Fantasies In Vogue Germany Video

We already knew Sports Illustrated cover model Kate Upton was great at being the object of men’s fantasies — hello, “Cat Daddy.” But lately, she’s been getting pretty good at appealing to women too. There was the unicorn-baby video she shot over the summer that tapped into some kind of Jungian symbolism we sort of got. And now, courtesy of Vogue Germany and director Bruce Weber, she’s fulfilling a bunch of literal fantasies we women have had — and some we didn’t even know we had until now. Enjoy the sounds of Bobby Darin’s “It Had to Be You” as we count all the ways in which we’d like to be in Kate’s shoes/bare feet.


1. Very cute boy trusts us enough to let us groom him.


2. We playfully roll down a hill like little kids, except he’s shirtless. Oops! We might bump into each other!
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