It’s not that Kate Upton looks bad in any of the several Terry Richardson shoots she’s done. Kate looks hot! She looks lovely! She just looks…like any random woman you might see in a Terry Richardson shoot. You know, beautiful, young, kind of washed out? We just question why anyone (including Terry) would make Kate Upton look like an ’80s lifeguard or an erotic Precious Moments doll, when she could look like a sexy robot queen, as she does in her behind-the-scenes video for Vogue Italia. Just look at that hard haute couture fierceness! It’s like we didn’t understand exactly how fierce Kate Upton could be until now, and it’s making us irrationally angry.
We already knew Kate would be bringing the fashion heat after she tweeted her upcoming Vogue Italia cover on Monday; the video, entitled “Seductive” just confirms it. “My vogue Italia editorial by Steven Meisel,” Upton tweeted this afternoon, along with several stills from the shoot. So…much…fabulousness…cannot…contain rage. At least put the girl in an amazing wig or something! Jeez! Come on! Ugh, sorry. It’s been a long week. We’re not angry at you or your Kate Upton photos, Terry. We’re just…a little disappointed.
Quickly, there isn’t much time! Check out Kate Upton‘s gorgeous Vogue Italia cover now before Hurricane Sandy takes the power out! Yes, we know you can look at it later, but let’s be real. Later you’ll be eating lukewarm canned soups and cursing yourself for not getting more toilet paper…it’ll be a big whole thing. So use your electricity and Wifi wisely in the meantime and peep Upton’s classic first Vogue cover, a cover which pretty much proves anyone who dismissed Kate as “only” a bikini model had no idea what they were talking about. “Italian vogue cover:)) shot by Steven Meisel!” she gushed along with the pic. The giant hair, the lips, the plunging neckline: Upton looks very Italian high fashion to us. You needed something to get you through the storm, right? Let it be Kate Upton’s insane cheekbones.
Upton had previously appeared in the pages ofVogue and Vogue Spain before landing the upcoming cover. Kate also tweeted some devastating behind-the-scenes photos from a recent V Magazine shoot that you must look at now, or curse yourself over later when the only thing in your field of vision is tea candles and triple A batteries. Don’t say we didn’t warn you! You’re welcome!
We hate to be all “Simpsons did it!” about two pop stars who switch up their look every 72 hours. Seriously, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga must have a think tank of designers and mathematicians working around the clock just to avoid wearing the same thing twice, let alone to avoid looking like one another. That being said, Katy Perry’s mod new Vogue Italia spread, shot by photographer Francesco Carrozini, is ranking pretty high on our Mother Monster meter. Blond micro bobs? Stylized cat eye make-up? Crawling around in clothes that cost more than a normal person’s rent? It’s hard not to read Katy’s photos as more than a little Gaga-esque. Plus, wasn’t it Lady Gaga who predicted mint would be a big color this year?
Don’t get us wrong; Katy looks amazing in every shoot. We just like the idea of Lady Gaga busting out Katy’s recent popcorn skirt in retaliation. Or…did Gaga already wear a popcorn dress? Has anyone taken a photo of these two ladies standing next to one another? Either way, take a look at our gallery of these eerily familiar “Lady Perry” looks and tell us if we’re crazy to see the similarities. We’re not crazy, are we? Not about this, right?
It’s scary how hot Jessica Alba’s Vogue Italia photos are, albeit in a high-school-goth-circa-1996 sort of way. This the kind of wardrobe and dye job we’d dream about in the sixth grade, when Marilyn Manson was cool but we were too intimated to go into Hot Topic alone. “My own style is probably a mixture of high and low. I’m definitely into sort of layering and I like mystery so I don’t put it all out there,” the star of the upcoming An Invisible Sign told the magazine. “I play dress up for a living — for photo shoots and for working and movies or whatnot — I sort of wear more revealing things that show my body. But in life I like things that have a little bit more mystery. I like things that are elegant and chic, but then a little rock-and-roll.” If by “rock-and-roll,” Alba means blasting Antichrist Superstar on our portable CD player while our mom picked us up in her Toyota Sienna, then yeah, we are totally feeling her look.