by (@shalapitcher)

Madonna Has A Voodoo Doll Of Director Who Rejected Her

On The Tonight Show last night, Jay Leno dared to ask Madonna about movie auditions that didn’t do so well for her. This is after she claimed that when casting for W.E., she tried her best to make actors “feel at ease” during their audition process because she knows how much auditioning can suck. Her reaction was the kind of classic Madonna that makes us wonder what director would dare make her not at ease.

“What did you audition for that you sucked at?” Leno asked.

“Oh. [Pause] … I’m not telling,” she said, laughing a little as she say back and crossed her arms. “I just remember doing an audition once and then afterwards it was just total silence, and the director just went, ‘Thank you.’ … Then there’s the other kind of audition where you audition for something like eight times. You just keep coming back and auditioning. It’s like a kind of torture. I did that for a film and then I ended up not getting the part and that was not very pleasant. I have a voodoo doll of that director.”

So, who would that director be? Read more…

by (@missmuttoo)

Madonna Chokes Up, And Not Because Of Her Unfortunate Outfit

Madonna attended the New York premiere of her film W.E. at the Ziegfeld Theatre on Monday night wearing … this. Lord knows we love us some Madge, and want her to look kick-ass all the fricking time, because she is so kick-ass. And then she goes and puts on one of the most frou-frou designers of our time — Marchesa. What can we say about those sleeves? Where’s an edit button when you need one? This wouldn’t be half so bad if it didn’t look as if her shoulders had sprouted a mustache.

The fact that she shared quite a poignant and totally unexpected moment with the audience makes the outfit even more galling. She let guests know, “Anybody that knows me knows that when I’m tired, I cry. If I cry, please, just don’t hold it against me. I’m really not a sentimental kind of a person.” But this is Madonna. Her tear glands are probably made of muscle! Apparently not, because the singer went on to reveal a softer side during her speech. She choked up for a moment when referencing her mother, adding, “Finally, I would like to thank my mother. Because, really, this story is the story of a female’s — the journey of a female, soul. And my mother gave me life.” Guys, Madonna almost cried in public. Now we’ve seen everything, And also want to give her a hug.

by (@shalapitcher)

Madonna’s 2012 Is Looking Super Big With Halftime Show, W.E. And More

Confirming what we all pretty much knew already, the NFL announced yesterday that Madonna is going to be the halftime performer for Super Bowl XLVI on February 5 at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis. She’s teaming up with Cirque du Soleil — we wonder if that miffs Pink a bit? — as well as her longtime creative director Jamie King for the big show. Of course, when I think of football, I think of Madge and French Canadian acrobats, don’t you? But with this “news,” it’s looking like 2012 is going to be a big year for the Material Girl. She’s got an album coming out, and the wide release of her directorial debut, W.E., is set for February 3. So, Madonna fans and pop-culture forecasters, we ask you:

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Harper’s Bazaar Picks Age-Defying Madonna For Their December Cover

Madonna‘s film W.E has been in the news a fair amount, mostly because … it’s Madonna’s film. All the attention directed towards it — as if Madge needed anymore — had landed the singer on the December cover of Harper’s Bazaar along with the movie’s leading leady, Andrea Riseborough, a very lovely, youthful 30-year-old. Madonna on the other hand, is looking like a very lovely, youthful 53-year-old. God bless magazine covers for being fountains of youth, right? It’s like gravity, sun damage and a ticking clock don’t exist.

The interview itself, which profiles the singer and her directorial journey with W.E., is very Madonna, and we thoroughly enjoyed one quote in particular. She told the writer, Naomi Wolf, “For some reason, I feel like I never left high school, because I still feel that if you don’t fit in, you’re going to get your ass kicked.” See? She’s just like the rest of us. Only without wrinkles.

[Photo: Harper’s Bazaar]

by (@hallekiefer)

No One Is A Fan Of Madonna This Week

Madonna has never been universally loved (we’re still surprised hydrangeas haven’t risen up against her, The Happening-style), but recently events suggest that Madge’s approval rating is the lowest it’s been since we listened to American Life all the way through that one time. For example, Madonna was booed at her W.E. premiere at the BFI London Film Festival this weekend, reportedly after fans felt ignored by her brief stint on the red carpet. “I do know what it is like to be misunderstood on a global scale,” she told Sky News at the event. Good thing the world still has A League Of Their Own to balance out some of this Madge-centric negativity. We could watch that movie on a thousand-year loop and never get tired of it. Never.

Sadder than a rowdy fanbase, though, is Madonna’s brother Anthony Ciccone, who told news site The Michigan Messenger that he is currently homeless and living under a bridge in Traverse City, Michigan. “My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” Madge’s elder sibling claimed. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times – why my sister is a multibazillionaire, and I’m homeless on the street?” Yeah, we imagine a few viewings of League wouldn’t do much to patch up that familial relationship. Not that it would hurt, of course, but yeah…not much help.

by (@missmuttoo)

Madonna’s W.E. Trailer Released

We’ve been dying to catch a glimpse of what Madonna‘s film, W.E. looks like after hearing so much about it. All that fuss about hydrangeas and silent quasi-apologetic films and we were ready to bite into the actual movie and not the hype. Now that we’ve watched the W.E. official trailer, we’re not surprised in anyway. It’s exactly what we thought it would turn out to be — very stylized, very Madonna. Even down to the gentle cello and piano soundtrack. There’s going to be lashings of melodrama in this and, we’re guessing, some slow-mo used to further the effects. But that does not necessarily make it a bad thing for us. We’re quite intrigued and are definitely going to give it a watch. Will you?

by (@hallekiefer)

Were Film Fest Volunteers Told To Avoid Eye Contact With Madonna?

Wow, who knew that film festival season was the time of year to let your inner cray-cray out? Must have something to do with the solstice. Canada’s The Globe and Mail claims that while Madonna visited the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) yesterday for the screening of her new film W.E., volunteer festival workers were allegedly told to avoid looking Madge in the eye. Writes the paper, eight volunteers were allegedly asked to “turn their faces to a wall so that they would not look at the pop-star-turned-movie-director as she made her way to her press conference about the film. One volunteer told the Globe they all dutifully stood with their backs to her as she passed.” Well, in Madonna‘s defense, you never know when someone’s face might suddenly morph into a bouquet of hydrangeas. Sure, it sounds unlikely, but why take the risk?