Brooke Hogan, the epitome of peroxided beauty in Florida, hosted a “Sexy Schoolgirl Party” this weekend wearing thigh-high leather boots and hot pants that looked like a display case for her private part. In fact, whenever we think of Brooke Hogan in the near future we’ll have no choice but to think … “cameltoe.”
The party featured a contest for “best dressed schoolgirl.” Brooke, dear, wear a red plaid skirt next time. …
There were a lot of low, low necklines at the Nonja McKenzie show yesterday, which is both good and bad for the models. Good? Everybody’s looking at you. Bad? They’re hoping for a tit to pop out. And one did!
Yup, either a model’s breast done got away from her flimsy top or McKenzie’s selling the latest in expensive slutty bathrobes. Best Week Evercracked “Does it come in a size Whore?”, and it does look rather Taxi Driver. But then all of McKenzie’s clothes scream “let’s do coke with Bianca Jagger at Studio 54!”
A blue scarf dangling under a black suit jacket, no pants, and black thigh-high boots. Black heels, black leggings, a black bustier, and a black trenchcoat. Are two third-graders playing dress-up in their parents’ closet? No! Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are presenting their clothing line at Selfridges in London!
The pair donned their finest wtf to stand with models and friends almost a foot taller than them—including fellow fashion victim Pixie Geldof—and show off the latest designs for Elisabeth And James, their upscale fashion line. Why do they get to dress up models when they can’t even dress themselves?
Hollyscoop is reporting that Chris Brown has started his own line of boxers named, ba dum, Big Headed Boxers. To emphasize the confidence requirement of wearing that logo is a little ruler on the inside of the crotch flap that implies “go ahead and verify the promised girth within.” Classy! Big Headed Boxers has actually been around for years, so it would seem Brown is actually just lending his name to the brand.
Aside from the heavy dose of ironic penile pride, what makes Big Headed Boxers different from those made by others? According to their site:
Big Headed Boxers have a touching feel about them. It’s the true sensation of quality and comfort. Put them on and you’ll feel good, your partner will feel good and you’ll be able to feel your partner feeling good. This will make you feel good again and again and again; though your mileage may vary.
“Your partner will feel good and you’ll be able to feel your partner feeling good?” Is this implying that Big Headed Boxers enhance the quality of dry humping? Are they ribbed for her pleasure? Hopefully Chris and Rihanna can give us a personal testimony soon.
How low can you go? Amy Winehouse may have to pay a £25,000 bill after returning several designer dresses to Harvey Nichols without bothering to clean off the vomit. According to The Mirror, she then went on to wrap the dresses together, getting vomit (which grew into mold), all over everything. Eww, girl, eww!
…While wearing one of the frocks, she went on an all-night bender. She ended up in the loos, where she was violently sick. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. She eventually couriered them back on Monday, but didn’t wrap them separately. So sick had gone on all the clothes. Even worse, green, furry mould had developed on some gowns, making them unwearable.
…Damn! Winehouse, you’re rich! Get a frikkin maid, already! Someone who can make sure you’re not mailing vomit to fashion designers! Has Wino actually reached the point of leaving a trail of ooze in her wake?
The campaign to ban low-riding pants hit a snag in Florida yesterday when a state supreme court judge ruled that a law against “saggy pants” in Riviera Beach was unconstitutional, following the overnight arrest of a 17-year-old who dared to show off his underwear. Despite the obvious WTF-ery of this kind of legislation, there are still similar laws on the books in several states, and cities like Dallas and Atlanta have also considered making droopy drawers illegal (it’s a shame The Wire isn’t around to work this into a season).
If the battle over low-riding pants continues to boil over, we should expect to see a concentrated effort on the part of rappers everywhere to fight this madness. In the gallery below, we spotlight some entertainers who should take personal offense at this attempt to give them a legal wedgie.
Happy birthday to…yeow! Heidi Montag may be turning 22 today, but you wouldn’t guess her youth based on these recent red carpet shots (nice plaid, Spencer). There’s flapper chic and then there’s AARP chic, Heidi. As Dlisted put it, “Cindy McCain called, she wants her hair back.”
Where’s PETA when we need them? Danity Kane‘s frontwoman attended the Traitor premiere last night in L.A. and was channeling her inner … Chyna Doll? Jenna Jameson? Albino Big Bird? Aubrey O’Day needs a serious scrubbing; from the collagen to the self-tanner to the animal hides, this chick is an environmental hazard.