Simon Cowell must have been pretty inspired by The 40-Year-Old Virgin to get so zealous with his chest waxing. The American Idol judge, seen here just chillin’ out, shirtless on the deck of a boat in Nice, France kind of overdid it though. See, there’s grooming to keep things from being too unruly (like, for instance,Ã‚Â J. Lo’s eyebrows when she was a Fly Girl vs. her eyebrows now)Ã‚Â , and there’s overdoing it (Pauly D.’s eyebrows all the time). This grooming falls into the latter category, as Simon has created a landing strip like no other on his belly. It is a modern marvel of precision and questionable taste, with a dash of “Dear God, why??”
Makes us wonder if he, like Steve Carell, yelled out “Kelly Clarkson!” during his waxing session, or if there’s another Idol contestant’s name he prefers to scream out in moments of agony. If it were us, we’d go with “Bowersox!”
There are no words to describe this photo of Playboy Playmate/Brody Jenner receptacle Jayde Nicole. Where would we even start? The red mesh tap pants, the fishnets purchased from the Moulin Rouge gift shop, the chin Band-Aid, and of course the dainty posturing. It’s all too much. If nothing else, Nicole owes a debt of gratitude to rapper Nelly for paving the way and making face bandages acceptable on her girl’s night out. The rest of the outfit however, is less forgivable.
[Photos: Splash News Online]
This is what happens when Snoop Dogg visits Sea World. Even the sea lions can’t resist his Doggy Style.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We’ve seen some pretty horrific things on the internet, but not since “Two-Girls, One Cup” have we been this disturbed. Congrats Jon Gosselin, you’ve done it again.
To celebrate his spiritual growth and development, Mr. Gosselin had a massive dragon tattoo inked on his back, from his shoulders to the small of his back. His first move after the cosmic awakening was to sell the exclusive photos and interview to RadarOnline.com. It’s good to see that not everything – or anything – has changed.
Despite resembling the dragon from Mulan flying into a roid rage, it is actually a Korean symbol of rebirth. “I have planned this tattoo for years now, ” he told Radar. “I wanted something that resembled a rebirth or change in me.” This means that his official title is no longer “man-child,” but “man-newborn.”
The process required 14 hours at a Pennsylvania tattoo parlor. But the kids apparently “love it and think it’s cool!” We wonder if they’ll feel the same way at 3 AM when they wake up screaming at the thought of that beast hiding in their piles of reality TV money.
What’s all this about a rebirth, you ask? We’re not sure, but we think he means hiring a new manager and working with life coach Sylvia Lafair. “I have just completed Section Two of my Total Leadership Connection program,” Jon said. We have no idea what that means, but we’re sure it’s important step on the journey to becoming a legendary douche.
We shouldn’t make fun of him though, because it can’t be easy having eight kids. Nine, if you count his new girlfriend, Ellen Ross. Despite being eleven years her senior and having known each other for only two months, Jon’s manager told UsMagazine.com that he tattooed her name along with those of his children on the scroll clutched in the dragon’s claw. Is the huge dragon tattoo gesture romantic or overcompensation for Jon Gosselin’s legendary small penis? You decide.
[Photo: Getty Images]