by (@hallekiefer)

Ozzy Cancels Concert, Jack Deals With M.S. Symptoms: Overall, Not A Great Week For The Osbournes

Ozzy Osbourne Cancels Concert; Jack Osbourne Struggles With M.S.
Man, we remember a time when the worst thing the Osbournes had to deal with was 15 tiny dogs pooping on the opulent throw rugs they scattered throughout their mansion. You guys watched The Osbournes too, right? Sadly the first family of metal is going through a grueling rough patch, the hardest part of which would have to be the unpredictability of Jack Osbourne‘s newly diagnosed multiple sclerosis. “I’m learning that one minute you can be fine, and the next I went blind in my right eye,” Sharon‘s boy explained on The Talk yesterday. “It’s a completely unpredictable disease.” Says Osbourne, who has since regained 80% of his vision, “Some people are left with a blind spot, some people return a 100 percent, some people never even get anything back, so it’s hit or miss.” Aw, you guys! This is breaking our cold, dead hearts in twain.

As if that wasn’t bad enough (it was), Ozzy Osbourne was forced to cancel a concert in Germany due to health problems of his own this week. While Ozzy’s “vocal concerns” don’t seem serious, they came on so last minute that the audience only found out the concert was canceled after the opening band finished their set. Does someone have an address where we could send them each an Edible Arrangement? We know that won’t solve anything, but still…fruit shaped like a candy flower can’t hurt.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Jack Osbourne Is Going To Be A Dad!

Jack Osbourne is engaged to Lisa Stelly — we all know that! But the good news doesn’t stop there, because Jack just revealed that he’s going to be a father as well! A wedding and a baby — how’s that for a double whammy? He revealed the news yesterday on Piers Morgan Tonight saying,  “I’m excited. I’m a little nervous.” Which means that Ozzy Osbourne — the ‘Prince of Darkness’ — is going to be a granddaddy again! And more than anything, we’d like to hear him talk about his impending grandfather role. Can someone get a quote, please? About baby sitting and nappies and the like? Congratulations to Jack and Lisa from all of us!

[Photo: Getty Images/ Twitter]

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Ozzy Just Learned How To Sexy Text, Says Sharon Osbourne

It’s always nice to hear about long-married men trying to keep the romance alive. Judging from her interview with Perez Hilton, Sharon Osbourne has no reason to feel that Ozzy takes her companionship for granted. “He’s texting [from Europe],” she explained. “So we’re texting each other all the time. I got a text from Ozzy and I’m like, ‘Jesus, somebody’s stolen his phone.’ Because I thought somebody found his phone and they were texting me dirty messages. And Silvana my assistant goes, ‘Oh my god, Ozzy’s just sent you this really dirty text.’ And I’m like, ‘Well it’s not him, somebody must have stolen his phone, he cant text.’ But it was him.”

While we’re glad to hear that no one stole Ozzy’s phone (we wouldn’t be shocked if he tends to leave it places), did he know that an assistant named Silvana would be screening messages for his missus? Hopefully Ozzy wasn’t too embarrassed…and hopefully Silvana wasn’t too disturbed by what she read.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Sharon Osbourne Lashes Out At IRS On Twitter: “I’m Owed A Rebate”

We’re always hearing about the IRS coming down on celebrities, so it’s a peculiar change of pace to see a star publicly fight back. Alleged tax evader Sharon Osbourne took her Twitter this weekend to claim that, actually, the IRS owes her money. “Just when we thought it was safe with the IRS, here they come again! This time their fault, not mine. Not taking this one laying down,” Sharon tweeted. “Mine was a f— up, yours was a ‘PROCEDURAL ERROR’. The bill has been paid, in fact I’m owed a rebate. Please send. Big Kiss, Mrs O.” Is it really a good idea to sign missives to government agencies with your last initial when you share it with the President?

When word of a $1.7 million bill for Sharon and husband Ozzy came out late last month, the TV regular confessed to skipping appointments with her accountant, saying she was “to blame” but also “too busy.” But it looks like TMZ’s report of another $350k still owed was too much for her to stomach. So far the IRS has yet to tweet back.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Ozzy Osbourne Makes His Big Screen Debut

No, really guys. God Bless Ozzy Osbourne premiered at the 10th Annual Tribeca Film Festival yesterday in New York and the Osbourne family were out in full force to support their fuzzy patriarch. According to IMDB the film also features “…never before seen footage uncovered from the archives and interviews with Paul McCartney, Tommy Lee and others, God Bless Ozzy Osbourne is the first documentary to take viewers inside the complex mind of Rock’s great icon….”  We just hope Ozzy was able to understand everything that was going on around him because that “complex mind” is a bit addled now.

Pics of the fam and friends arriving at the screening below. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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Kat Von D And Bam Deny Affair, Hit Revolver Awards Together

Bam Margera & Kat Von D

Now this is how you shut down a rumor. Tattoo artist/plastic surgery victim Kat Von D ran to her Twitter when gossip about her public parading with married pal Bam Margera hit a fever peak following Wednesday’s NYLON party, with Page Six claiming “they were practically swallowing each other. They were right by the deejay booth, licking each other” (mmm, inky!). “Contrary to silly rumors, Bam Margera and I are NOT dating,” D tweeted. “I’m currently in a relationship w Nikki [Sixx]. Hope that clears things up.” “There’s absolutely no romantic relationship,” seconded Bam’s rep.

So you’d think the Motley Crue bassist would be canoodling with Kat on the red carpet that night at the 2nd Annual Revolver Golden God Awards, right? Nope, it was Bam Margera who took a spot by her side, laying a big hug on his alleged mistress for the clicking cameras. Guess we gossipmongers can just turn away now.

See photos from the metalfest in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Ozzy Osbourne Chokes Fan Into Saying “Cheese!”

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While doing a press tour for his new book “I Am Ozzy”, Ozzy Osbourne has been meeting thousands of fans who want to shake the hand of the Prince of Darkness. We absolutely love the fact that this young fan in Boston wanted the ultimate Ozzy photo op (we presume he wanted Oz to make like he was biting his head off and settled for a friendly strangle instead). We can’t think of anyone else for whom this pose would be so cute and endearing. [Photo: SplashNewsOnline]

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Ozzy: I’ll Be Sad If Kelly Marries

kelly-ozzy-osbourne-2

As if marrying into the Osbourne clan wasn’t intimidating enough, Kelly Osbourne’s lookalike fiancé Luke Worrall has to win over the approval of her dad, Ozzy. But clearly, the normal procedures of calling him “Sir” and “mistaking” Sharon for Kelly’s sister need to be ramped up a bit. In an interview with Star magazine, Ozzy hardly showers him with paternal love.

“I quite like Luke, I don’t know about him being my son-in-law right now, but he’s a nice kid.  Kelly adores him. If she gets married, it will be a sad day for me, and if they break up, Kelly will be terribly sad,” he said.

Talk about damning with faint praise! Maybe if Luke lost that Mr Hudson hair and instead grew it long, and swapped those specs for some round Lennon-style ones, Daddy O might be more favorable? [Photos: WireImage]

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Ozzy Osbourne Describes Life On Reality TV As “Terrifying”

Ozzy-Osbourne

If there are two things Ozzy Osbourne is famous for, they’re his reality TV show on MTV and the fact that he bit the head off a live bat during a concert, and he addresses both in his upcoming autobiography. The funny thing is that while both situations were crazy, the one he describes as “terrifying” is actually the TV show.

In the new memoir, entitled “I Am Ozzy,” Osbourne candidly discusses the show that made him and his family uber-famous, saying “It was terrifying, man. The whole thing felt like Beatlemania on LSD. I was no longer famous for being a singer. I was famous for being that swearing bloke on the telly.”

An excerpt of the book is available on the Times Online website, where you can read about the bat-biting incident as well in gooey, bloody detail. Personally it was too gory for us to handle at such an early hour in the day.[Photo: GettyImages]