by (@shalapitcher)

Matt Damon Hosts Jimmy Kimmel Sucks: Our 5 Favorite Zingers

After being “bumped” from Jimmy Kimmel Live “1,205″ times for the past 10 years, Matt Damon exacted his revenge on the late-night host by kidnapping him, tying him to a chair and hosting one of our favorite stunt episodes of a talk show ever. Andy Garcia (sporting a hilarious fake accent), Nicole Kidman, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, Amy Adams, Gary Oldman, Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Silverman, “band leader” Sheryl Crow and a very weird-looking Demi Moore all made appearances — thus proving that Matt could get anyone and everyone to visit (not that Kimmel’s ever really had trouble with that). And of course, it turned into a great big roast of the host, who recently got his show moved up an hour to the highly competitive 11:35 p.m. slot. Here are our 5 favorite insults (of many!):

“Kimmel is the Death Star, big and round and easily destroyed through his garbage hole.” Matt Damon, who likewise compared himself to Luke Skywalker

“He’s just, he’s not classy.” — Nicole Kidman on why she’s never been on the show before
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by (@hallekiefer)

Sheryl Crow Blames Brain Tumor On Cell Phone Use; Everyone Else On Planet Hopes She’s Wrong

Sheryl Crow Blames Brain Tumor On Cell Phone Use

You’re going to want to throw away your Bluetooth for this one (also because it just looks dumb): Sheryl Crow believes her brain tumor is the result of prolonged cell phone use. “There are no doctors that will confirm that,” Crow revealed to Katie Couric on today’s premiere episode of Katie. “[But] I do have the theory that it’s possible that it’s related to that. I [used to spend] hours on the old archaic cell phones.” Wow, we never thought we’d be glad our parents forbade us from having a cell phone as a kid…but here we are. Here we are.

You might recall peeping the video of Sheryl forgetting the lyrics to “Soak up The Sun” at a concert back in May; it was this forgetfulness that sent the singer to a doctor in the first place, where she learned she was suffering from a benign brain tumor. “I [was] worried I had an early [onset] Alzheimer’s,” Crow admitted, pointing out that said tumor was growing in the part of her brain where she traditionally held her cellphone. Luckily Sheryl, who has also battled breast cancer, is now in recovery. On one hand, we kiiiiiiiind of want to get Sheryl a celebrity medical show costarring TomYou Don’t Even Know What Ritalin IsCruise. On the other hand…what if she’s right? We’d switch to a land line immediately. We’re not losing “If It Makes You Happy” to no tumor!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Jessica Chastain Vs. Sheryl Crow At The Tony Awards

Sheryl Crow, Jessica Chastain at the Tony Awards

We’ve already posted about the color purple trending at the Tony Awards. Poor Amanda Seyfried and Laura Bell Bundy were out-dressed by Bernadette Peters and Ellen Barkin. It was the same case with Jessica Chastain and Sheryl Crow. Both ladies wore heavily embellished outfits, but Jessica’s was a dress while Sheryl wore a gown. We don’t know why Jessica insists on wearing nude shades that wash her out completely. A pop of color on her lips may have rescued this Mario Schwab dress. She also wore Harry Winston jewels and Giuseppe Zanotti heels which we’re loving, but the whole outfit isn’t doing it for us. Something strange is happening to the bodice of her dress as well, specifically around the cups. It’s making her chest look rather odd, right?

Sheryl, on the other hand, blew us away in this gorgeous backless Marchesa navy gown with Jennifer Fisher jewels. So dramatic, perfectly fitted and her hair looks great. We’re all so rooting for Sheryl ever since we heard about that nasty brain tumor she’s had to deal with. Thank God it’s benign, but it’s still causing her memory loss. Way to go, Sheryl! Better luck next time, Jessica.

[Photos: Getty Images]

Related: Purple At The Tony Awards: Seasoned Actresses Out-Glam Younger Amanda Seyfried And Co.
Sheryl Crow Reveals Memory Problems Due To Benign Brain Tumor

by (@hallekiefer)

Sheryl Crow Reveals Memory Problems Due To Benign Brain Tumor

Sheryl Crow Brain Tumor Revealed

Noooooooo! Why Sheryl Crow? She’s given us 20 years of happy beach music and this is how the universe repays her? “I worried about my memory so much that I went and got an MRI. And I found out I have a brain tumor,” the singer admitted to the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Luckily, Crow’s tumor is benign. Seeing as how she famously wrestled breast cancer to the ground in 2006, we have faith Crow’s going to be back on stage in no time. But still! It ain’t right.

In her interview, Crow also discusses that gig in St. Petersburg, Florida last month when she straight-up forgot the lyrics to “Soak Up the Sun,” a pretty conspicuous flub considering every American below the age of 90 and above the age of 9 knows that song by heart. “Oh, what’s the words? It’s live! Nothing on tape here!” Sheryl joked at the time, telling the crowd, “I’m 50 what can I say! My brain has gone to s—!” Man, if we ever forgot any Sheryl Crow songs, we’re gonna to start freaking out. Doctors should start including “Crow forgetfulness” in the list of benign brain tumor symptoms. If you can’t at least get through the chorus of “My Favorite Mistake,” straight to the MRI machine you go!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Rihanna Busts A Move With Steven Spielberg, Kate Capshaw And Sheryl Crow

This is why we say a picture is worth a thousand words. That’s Rihanna singing, with Steven Spielberg filming her on his phone, while Kate Capshaw, Sheryl Crow and Joel Silver clap and bust some moves. This unexpected bout of mirth happened at the Beverly Hilton Hotel during the 15th annual “An Unforgettable Evening” which benefited EIF’s Women’s Cancer Research Fund. Now sadly, we couldn’t see an of Spielberg’s dance moves because he was too busy filming Ri-Ri, but his wife — Capshaw, who is a total hottie, FYI — took care of that department. She was seen getting down with the singer, with Sheryl making it a really dance-happy trio.  Click after the jump to see two more shots of the ladies as well as one of Steven, Kate and Sheryl looking quite tired (but in a good way) from all the shenanigans. Read more…

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Sheryl Crow Through The Years: Happy 50th Birthday!

Over the past 25 years, all Sheryl Crow has wanted to do is have some fun. We hope she’s doing that today, as she celebrates her 50th birthday. With a long-lasting career in the music industry, what else can the birthday girl wish for? She’s performed with some of the music industry’s greatest talent, written some of the greatest rock/country songs, won nine Grammys and was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.

The singer-songwriter has taught fans that every day is a winding road (sorry). After battling cancer, she still knows how to have fun and look good doing it! Her resilience is what sets her apart from her contemporaries. The rocker turned country star continues her philanthropic efforts while raising her son in Memphis. We’ve got two words for you, Sheryl Crow: ROCK ON!

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[Photos: Getty Images]

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Shania Twain Falls At The CMT Awards

Last night’s CMT Awards were a pretty loose, easygoing affair, a good thing considering how often non-country stars like Justin Bieber, Ludcaris and Sheryl Crow (who accidentally flashed her panties while singing with host Kid Rock) appeared on stage. Despite the interlopers, pop-country titans were able to maintain their authority, either by winning big awards (like Taylor Swift and the recently married Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton did) or by falling on their ass while walking to the camera, like Shania Twain did in the above clip.

Not only did Shania immediately laugh off the tumble, she posted a video about it only hours later! Check it out after the jump, and check out the pop-country fashion on hand in the gallery below.

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by (@hallekiefer)

Sheryl Crow’s Cookbook Is Like An SNL Sketch About Sheryl Crow’s Cookbook

We in no way want to discourage people from buying Sheryl Crow’s cookbook. The woman is 49 and has a body of a 20-year-old pro tennis player; we certainly can’t argue with her teaming up with chef Chuck White to promote whatever magic elixir has her looking so phenomenal. That being said, the title of Crow’s book is, at best, what you’d imagine her cookbook would be called on MADtv: “If If Makes You Healthy.” Oh girl, that’s hilarious. So hilarious in fact, that we brainstormed some titles for her future healthy cooking endeavors:

  • The First Cut Is The Quiche-est
  • All I Wanna Do (Is Lose Some Weight)
  • Soak Up The Yum
  • Every Day Is A Winding Road (To The Gym)
  • My Favorite Milk-Shake
  • A Change (In Your Eating Habits) Would Do You Good
  • Strong Enough To Be My Flan

Ugh, does this mean we have to scrap plans for our upcoming candy cookbook, “If It Makes You Taffy?” In addition to whipping America into shape using amazing puns, Sheryl Crow joins Kid Rock‘s tour this summer, where they will hopefully perform a rendition of their duet “Picture (Of Sheryl Crow’s Totally Ripped Abs).”

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TheFABlife Bikini Awards: MILFs

(Welcome to TheFABlife Bikini Awards, where we pit half-naked celebs against each other and you vote for the finest skin-flaunter of the summer of 2010.)

The first round of mobile and online voting is now closed. Halle Berry is the winner of the MILFs! Vote for the Ultimate Bikini Awards winner in our final poll!

Yes, we’ve included a MILF category, because we’re both creepy and inclusive, and there’s no reason to leave out hot moms just because they’ve got a little bit of baby spit up on their bikini bottom. Vote for your favorite sexy station wagon-owner, including Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Halle Berry, Jennie Garth, Mel B, Naomi Watts and Sheryl Crow.

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Style Wars: Floral Face-Off

Thank goodness the 2010 Matrix Awards was a relatively obscure daytime event, because songstress Sheryl Crow and 30 Rock star Tina Fey committed the ultimate red carpet faux pas: wearing the same dress! Though the necklines were altered to flatter each famous female, the springy frocks were otherwise identical. As Liz Lemon would say, “Nerds!”

Which pretty lady was more lovely? [Photos: Getty Images]

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