by (@JordanRuntagh)

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone Hospital Pic Kinda Bums Us Out

When we first saw this picture of big screen action legends Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone posing in twin hospital beds, we assumed it was a promo for the biggest bummer buddy movie ever. But sadly, it appears that Sly and The Governator really are laid up. “After all the action, stunts & physical abuse shooting The Expendables 2 and The Last Stand, it was time for a little tune up on my shoulder,” Arnold wrote when he posted this photo to his website. All of you who read that caption in his trademark “Ah-Nuld Voice”, raise your hands. We thought so.

Stallone happened to be visiting the hospital at the same time to get fixed up from a rematch with Apollo Creed (we imagine). We guess it’s nice that the old friends are doing stuff together…we just wish it didn’t include surgeries. It’s way too real. Get well soon, guys! The aging stars are set to team up outside the recovery room to film The Tomb this spring. We’ll be happier for that reunion.

[Photo: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Who Say]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The 45 Biggest Celebrity Breakups Of 2011

Love never dies, but it sure took a battering this year! Celebrity couples of every age and stripe dropped like flies in 2011! From long-term unions like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, all the way down to the ones that can be measured in a television season (*cough* Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries *cough*), Hollywood could have used a giant couples’ therapy session. There were affairs, secret children, super fights, Twitter drama, ugly court cases and sometimes all of those combined. For these couples it wasn’t domestic bliss but domestic blitz! But don’t feel bad if you’ve made the list, guys. Just think of it as a giant singles ad. (You’re welcome!)

As the great philosopher Pat Benatar once said, “Love is a battlefield.” Check out some of this year’s casualties of Cupid in the gallery below. It’s truly a star-studded cast, with Marc Anthony and J.Lo, George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis, Demi and Ashton and oh so many more. Pick up your crazy hearts and try again in ’12, folks!

[Photo: Getty Images]

View Photo Gallery

by (@shalapitcher)

25 Apologies We’ll Fondly Remember From 2011

In the age of Twitter, it’s pretty amazing that more celebrities aren’t putting their foot in it these days. But enough of our favorite (or least favorite) actors, musicians and other public figures managed to say and do the kind of awful things that simultaneously give publicists strokes and keep them in business. After those awful things come the kind of public apologies that make us cringe, squirm and thank god we’re not in their shoes. From Chris Brown to Gilbert Gottfried, Arnold Schwarzenegger to Lea Michele, Hilary Swank to Mythbusters, we had a lot of Schadenfreude to enjoy in 2011. We’re pretty sure the culprits would like us to forget these moments, but here’s a little gallery to remind you:

View Photo Gallery

Did we leave out one of your faves? Share it in the comments!

[Photos: NBC, Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Son, Patrick, Busted For Speeding

Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s son, Patrick Schwarzenegger got himself a traffic ticket!  The super hot 18 year old was zooming around Santa Monica and going at 54 mph in a 35 mph area. And he happened to have been driving his Dad’s car at the time — a sleck black 2009 Audi. TMZ reports that the incident went down last week, but has only come to attention now. Patrick was cited, ticketed and allowed to go his merry way. Like father, like son. Arnold was pulled over by cops a couple of months ago as well, while driving around in his Porsche convertible. He wasn’t given a ticket though! That, he got two months before for another prior incident! Think Patrick is going to turn up like his old man?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Arnold Schwarzenegger Plans To Publish A Memoir

It’s not a tell-all! Now that he has a lot to write about, what with leaving office and fathering a child with another woman and all, it seems that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s memoir will be published in October 2012 with the tentative title of, wait for it,”Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story.” So, of course, we had to brainstorm a few other potential titles, just so Arnold has a nice range:

  • The Running Man: My Journey To The Governor’s Office
  • Kindergarten Cop, And Other Jobs I Did Not Have During My Career
  • Jingle All The Way To Infamy
  • Eraser, or What I Wish I Had To Get Rid Of The Past 9 Months
  • True Lies

No word on how much the book will touch on Arnold’s recent scandals, such as his divorce from Maria Shriver or the discover of his son with former employee Mildred Patricia Baena. “He has been keeping notes and working on the book for over a year,” Schwarzenegger’s rep Adam Mendelsohn told People. “He didn’t want to write his autobiography while he was governor.” As long as he took copious notes on the making of Twins, we’ll go ahead and reserve this at the library immediately. Immediately.

by (@hallekiefer)

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Son Christopher Out Of The Hospital

People reports that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son Christopher left the hospital today, and expected to make a full recovery following his boogie board accident. “Blessed to be able to take Christopher out of the hospital last night. What a feeling of relief to know that he’s going to be fine,” mother Maria Shriver tweeted. “We were very lucky. Many patients and families we met have been there so long and have no end in sight. I pray for their recovery.” We’re not going to immediately assume some sort of cybernetic technology is behind Christopher’s quick recovery, but it’s certainly on the table.

Arnold, who was photographed visiting Christopher at the hospital earlier this week, chimed in this afternoon, tweeting, “I knew Christopher couldn’t be stopped! Big thanks to all the doctors, nurses & staff at UCLA that helped him recover.” Despite Arnold and Maria’s impending divorce, a source claims, “He and Maria will always come together when it comes to supporting and loving their children,” as well as to terminating any and all boogie boards in their kid’s vicinity.

by (@hallekiefer)

Arnold Returns To Big Screen In Last Stand, Whether You Want Him To Or Not

Even though the nation’s mothers have declared Arnold “dead to me,” it looks like Hollywood is hoping to revive his career regardless. Deadline announced today that Arnold Swarzenegger’s new film The Last Stand is a go despite Arnold’s divorce drama; the Western will star the ex-governor as a sheriff hell-bent on defending his border down. An American sheriff with a thick Austrian accent? We can hear our mom’s eyes rolling in their sockets from here.

While Schwarzenegger had also previously signed on for the lead in Cry Macho (as well as slated for the now uncertain The Governator), Stand has been scheduled to start shooting in September. We’ll probably forget all about Arnold’s secret child drama long before then. Our moms probably won’t though, but we’ll just take money out of their purse when they’re on the phone.


Schwarzenegger’s Babymama Mildred Baena Talks For The First Time

Almost a month after the world learned about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s out-of-wedlock child, Mildred Baena, the housekeeper who gave birth to the kid after a long affair with the future California governor, has finally given an interview. Turns out that part of the reason it took so long for word of the kid to come out is that his parents never really talked about it themselves. “It was as [son] Joseph grew and I started to see the resemblance that I wondered—but it became more apparent as time went on,” she tells Hello! “I knew Arnold was the father, and maybe as Joseph got older and began to look like him, he [Arnold] wondered. But he never said anything to me.”

Unsurprisingly, it was Arnold’s wife Maria Shriver who pushed the subject. “She would say things like, ‘I’m here if you need to talk.’ I sensed something was up. I have so much love and respect for Maria. Finally, she asked point blank. She was so strong. She cried with me and told me to get off my knees. We held each other and I told her it wasn’t Arnie’s fault, that it takes two.” While Shriver was reportedly angry enough to want to reveal the child’s existence in a press conference, Baena sounds hopeful they’ll reconcile. “He’s a good man and I know he’s suffering too. He loves Maria. I hope with time they work things out.” Even if they don’t, one person seems comfortable with the situation. When told who he his real father was, 13-year-old Joseph reportedly told his mom, “Cool!”

[Photo: Hello!/Getty Images]


Arnold Schwarzenegger Investigated For Using Highway Patrol To Transport Girls

Shockingly, a mega-famous mega-rich actor/governor who confessed to having a secret love child with his housekeeper and has been accused of groping women without consent may have been up to other forms of hanky-panky during his time in office. Arnold Schwarzenegger is reportedly under investigation by the California attorney general after the former head of security at the Sacramento Hyatt Regency told the National Enquirer that the governor regularly had Highway Patrol officers bringing “scantily-clad women” in and out of his suite. Why the women had to be scantily-clad before arriving at Schwarzenegger’s suite is not clear.

In a bizarre change of pace, TMZ quoted CHP officers to deny the story, though judging from their frequent posts slamming Schwarzenegger’s housekeeper/babymama Mildred Baena—she’s been called everything from a “maneater” to a “self-hating Hispanic” in their headlines—one has to wonder whose side of the drama their sources plead allegiance to. Arnold, allegedly hiding out in Sun Valley, Idaho, has yet to comment on the latest drama.

[Photo: Getty Images]


Report: Maria Shriver Wanted To Reveal Arnold’s Baby At A Press Conference

Looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child scandal could have been even more dramatic than it has been. TMZ claims that Maria Shriver almost called a press conference to spill the beans when she learned her husband’s huge secret. The telejournalist was allegedly “hysterical” after discovering her movie-star/governor husband had a 14-year-old son he’d known about for a decade (who wouldn’t be?) and friends had to keep her from alerting the media herself. Instead, the gradual leaking of information began, which led to LA Times story…which lead to Schwarzenegger’s confession.

Hilariously (in a sad way), the site says Arnold was upset to learn Maria was even talking about his indiscretions, as if he has any right to complain about a violation of trust after having regular unprotected sex with a housekeeper in their bed and then providing for a love child behind her back. Despite Arnold’s professed desire to rekindle his marriage, it looks like he’s better off giving half his gazillions to Maria and moving on. If she was thinking about dropping this kind of bomb on the guy, we’re guessing Hollywood has a better chance of forgiving him than she does.

[Photo: Getty Images]