by (@JordanRuntagh)

Eva Longoria, Jessica Chastain, Camels: The 15 Most Unforgettable Outfits At Cannes Opening Day

The 65th annual Cannes Film festival kicked off in high style today, as celebs from all around the world descended to the coastal town with their finest clothes and accessories. Eva Longoria and Diane Kruger both made big entrances in huge Cinderella gowns with trains that could stretch all the way to Paris! Jessica Chastain’s dress was a little more streamlined, but definitely drew attention with a plunging neckline. The dudes cleaned up pretty nicely as well, with action stars Bruce Willis and Chris Pine rockin’ the tuxes, but Sacha Baron Cohen (predictably) stole the show when he rode down the red carpet in full Dictator regalia while on the back of a camel. Sure it’s pretty in-your-face, but at least it’s better than drowning Elisabetta Canalis for publicity, right? We’ll go with yes. Check out more incredible styles in the gallery below!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@shalapitcher)

Magic Mike To Stacee Jaxx: Who Will Be Summer’s Funniest (And Sexiest) Men?

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As The Avengers kick off summer movie season today with a bang or two (or 100), it’s easy enough to forget that blockbusters aren’t just about men in tights, showing off their massive CGI effects. On some of those sweltering days, you don’t want to step into a theater to worry about the fate of the world; you want to laugh your ass off. We’ve already looked at the ladies doing their part to make the season hilarious, and now it’s time for us to decide which of these sexy funnymen will be the sexiest and funniest at the multiplex from May through August.

This year, we have some double threats — the guys who will make us laugh and fan ourselves: Tom Cruise radiates sex as rock god Stacee Jaxx in Rock of Ages, Matthew McConaughey sells it as strip-club owner Dallas in Magic Mike, and Mark Wahlberg hides it beneath a manchild exterior as John, the guy who tries to let go of his talking teddy bear in Ted. There are also the funny guys we crush on, no matter how goofy their characters, like Russell Brand as the narrator of Rock of Ages and Andy Samberg as Adam Sandler’s unfortunate son in That’s My Boy. There are the comedians we’d kind of like to take home to mom — Ed Norton and Jason Schwartzman in Moonrise Kingdom, Ben Stiller and Jonah Hill in Neighborhood Watch, Steve Carell in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Chris Rock in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell in The Campaign. And then there are the bad boys we’d keep secret about, Vince Vaughn in Neighborhood Watch and Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator.

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by (@missmuttoo)

Jason Schwartzman Is A Dad

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Aww! Jason Schwartzman and his wife Brady Cunningham had a baby girl. They kept quiet about her quite successfully, because it turns out that little Marlowe Rivers Schwartzman was born exactly a month ago. Jason and his wife dated for a long time before getting married last year in July. In the months leading up to happy baby time, the Bored To Death actor had said, “I’m having a family and I feel very happy. I try to be a good father-to-be. I try to treat my wife well [so she can] enjoy these months.”

Congratulations to the new family!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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The Ultimate Fashion Victim Gallery: Stars Before They Had Stylists…Or Style

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Before the stars were stars, they were normal people trying to make a living. Every penny they made was spent on rent and food, not stylists and clothing. That’s why it’s so awesome to see celebrity before-and-after shots: getting a glimpse of what J.Lo looked like with crazy eyebrows or when Alec Baldwin was just a sliver of his current self. We wanted to honor some of our finest actors and performers by going back in time—back to when no one could bother to get their clothes tailored, they were too cheap to use anything but boxed hair color, and the word “stylist” didn’t even exist in Hollywood. Some of these people are a victim of the era from whence they came, but others have no excuse. The important thing to remember: these people had a choice about how to dress, and these are the outfits they chose. The awkward, tragic outfits they chose.

35. George Clooney Needs A Trip To The Fashion ER

34. Mila Kunis Looks Patchy

33. Brad Pitt’s Electric Youth

32. We Can’t Believe Destiny Let Her Child Out Like That

31. The Simpson Sisters’ Belly Shirt Blues

30. Bret Michaels’ Poisonous Outfit

29. Mayer McSleaze

28. Mulder And Lara Croft At The Frown Prom

27. Teri Hatcher, Fanny Packin’ Heat

26. Seacrest’s Smile Lights The Way

25. Sister Christian, Your Time Has Come

24. Dude, Where’s My Style?

23. Mad Man Seeks Tailor

22. A Rolling Scarf Gathers No Moss

21. Open Season For Ciara

20. A Lively Fashion Debate

19. Oh, NO, Sheryl Crow!

18. Marky Mark Gets Funky, Bunchy

17. Alicia Says Leather Is Key

16. Leather Longoria

15. Cow-Hide-y Klum

14. Grandma Heigl

13. A(n Old) Nose For Fashion

12. Alec Baldwin Needs A Ball Wrangler

11. Romeo And Juliet Died Before They Could Register For A Mirror

10. Don’t Speak, I Know What You’re Thinkin’

9. Mad Dash

8. Party Of Two

7. When Cameron Met Aqua Net

6. The Devil Wears Forever 21

5. Thank God Michelle Moved Away From Dawson’s Creek

4. More Like Kate LOSE-let

3. Keira Lady Of The Night-ley

2. What The Halle?

1. Scary Maguire

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[Photos: Getty Images]

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The Most Indie Fashion Show Of All: Rodarte

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The guest list at the Rodarte show answered a few lingering questions we’ve had lately, the first being “Where’s Kirsten Dunst hiding these days?”and the second being “Which Fashion Week runway show will draw the coolest crowd ever?” Dunst was there  palling around with her on-screen husband from Marie Antoinette, Jason Schwartzman, while indie music icons Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth sat a few seats away. Rounding out the cool club were Natalie Portman, Chloë Sevigny and a whole mess of unkempt coifs and quirky facial hair throughout the room. [Photos: Getty Images]

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Jason Schwartzman Weds In Sneaky Wedding

Movie actor Jason Schwartzman has got married – and no-one noticed. The Rushmore star and his longterm girlfriend Brady Cunningham tied the knot at their home in the San Fernando Valley last month, after dating for three years. “It was a very small ceremony with many family members and close friends,” said his agent. It’s unclear whether they tried to keep it under the radar, or whether no-one really paid any attention. Still, congrats to the happy, anonymous couple!