by (@shalapitcher)

Joe Simpson Divorcing Amid Gay Rumors, Bieber’s Dad Posed Nude: Today In Celeb Dad News

Joe and Tina Simpson divorcing, Jeremy Bieber posed for nude pics

The National Enquirer has a story out today alleging that the reason Jessica and Ashlee’s mom, Tina, is filing for divorce from Joe Simpson after 34 years of marriage is that he came out of the closet to them. And revealed that he has a 20-something boyfriend. “Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet,” an insider told the Enquirer, via Radar. “He told them that he’d tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn’t go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men.” Also, they sat this boyfriend may have been in the car with the former Baptist minister when he got his DUI in August. All we know for sure is that the Simpsons are divorcing and that Joe did get a DUI.

We don’t have too much of an opinion on the dadager’s coming out. But what we do find weird is the spate of stories coming out about young stars’ dads. This is, of course, the same morning that Bobby Brown got himself another DUI. AND the same day that Radar says “Playgirl-type” nude photos of Justin Bieber’s dad, Jeremy, are being shopped around. “Jeremy was purposely posing in all the photos, and he’s completely naked showing full-frontal,” a source told the gossip site. Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Sally Struthers, Michael Madsen, Joe Simpson: Would You Like The Number Of A Good Car Service?

Sally Struthers, Michael Madsen and Joe Simpson

Guys, we’re pretty sure we’re not coming up with this idea all on our own: There are people, actually sometimes large groups of people, whose job it is to drive you around when you can’t/shouldn’t/don’t wanna do it yourself. You don’t even need to employ one all on your own. You can maybe even call one at the very last minute when you realize that your flu medication and that one beer you had shouldn’t have been mixed. Sally Struthers, Michael Madsen, Joe Simpson, Amanda Bynes, these people would be really happy to serve you.

Struthers became the latest in an increasingly disturbing list of celebrities to be arrested for DUI when she was pulled over this morning in Maine. The 65-year-old All in the Family star was actually just charged with misdemeanor “operating under the influence” and was released on $160 bail, People reports. So she wasn’t Randy Travis-raving level, which makes us feel a little better.

Kill Bill star Michael Madsen, meanwhile, wasn’t drunk but was recovering from the flu when he was pulled over for erratic driving last night, sources told TMZ. OK, sources, maybe you should be better friends and drive him where he needed to go rather than letting a sick man get behind the wheel of a hot rod. He was actually treated for flu-like symptoms at the hospital last night, so that’s kind of believable … but police say he also blew a .20 on the Breathalyzer.

And then there’s good old Joe Simpson, who was arrested at a checkpoint last month and tested .12 on the Breathalyzer. Today he pleaded not guilty to DUI and is due back in court in October, TMZ says. The gossip site speculated that he had been at daughter Jessica’s favorite Mexican joint Casa Vega, which is near where he was stopped. We bet it’s also a place where taxis might pick you up.

We’re not picking on you, guys, especially since you haven’t been convicted yet. We’d just like the streets, and our favorite celebrities, to be safe out there!

[Photos: Getty Images]

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David Hasselhoff Plans To Pimp Out Daughters

the-hoff

Not content with Burger-gate and Crotch-gate, David Hasselhoff really wants to embarrass his daughters further by styling himself as some sort of tipsy Svengali Papa. Just like Joe Simpson, Jamie Spears and Billy Ray Cyrus before him, The Hoff sees his daughters Taylor-Ann and Hayley Amber as the latest tool for him to grab a slice of the fame pie, and wants to launch them as a singing pop duo.  He’s even reached out to Take That band member Gary Barlow to lend his writing credentials to The Hoff Hotstars (our name, not theirs).

“I’ve been inspired by the success of Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter Miley. If anything my girls have double the talent. What I need is a good songwriter and Gary is a genius in my book,” he tells New! magazine.

Do we need to voice our immediate thought that this is a disaster in the offing? Nope. Thought not. Because it’s blindingly obvious. [Photos: WireImage]