This just in from the reliable news source that we call the World Wide Web: Leonardo DiCaprio is actually a time traveling she-vampire from the 1960s. We know, we were surprised too! But the evidence is pretty convincing. See for yourself in the photo above! On the right is standard issue Leo circa 1996. And on the left is a photo found by a Tumblogger in her grandmother’s vintage yearbook, depicting a woman known as Judy Zipper in 1960. The resemblance is pretty eerie. That smile, those mischievous eyes, it’s all pure DiCaprio! Or should we say, pure Zipper…? Who knows when he switched genders, but we’re guessing it was sometime in the 1980s.
This is not the first case of Hollywood celebs turning out to be time traveling swashbucklers. Nicolas Cage was famously outed as a time-traveling vampire last fall, and a photo of John Travolta in 1860 turned up on eBay around the same time. Thank god we have the internet to expose all of these era-jumping Oscar-nominated immortals! But the important question is, what do they want? Elaborate tombs for resting? The blood of masseurs? Outrageously expensive hybrid cars? We may never know. Maybe they just want a part in Twilight?
[Photo: Tumblr/Getty Images]
We hadn’t hear any untoward accusations about why John Travolta‘s second accuser dropped his case today. Looks like his lawyer is just hoping to beat everyone to the punch! “Not one penny has been paid nor do we have any intention to pay any money for these ridiculous and false claims,” Travolta’s lawyer Marty Singer told TMZ, after the unnamed masseur asked that his charges against the actor be dismissed. Well, thanks for pointing out what definitely didn’t happen, sir! If you have any ideas about what actually did happen, or why this insane parade of cringe-worthy accusations seems to be without end, please let us know!
Besides, it’s not as if either of Travolta’s alleged victims are giving up on their claims entirely, a move which might have suggested some shady under-the-massage-table dealings. Two days after the actor’s first accuser dropped his case and hired attorney Gloria Allred, the second has done exactly the same thing. “I’m looking forward to trying the case against Gloria Allred in a court of law, not in the media,” Singer said of the unnamed man’s decision.
Meanwhile there are at least two other accusers floating around, as well as an extremely questionable story out of the National Enquirer from a massage therapist alleging that he had a sexual encounter with Travolta in 1997. “We got into the bed that was right next to the massage table and had a really good time,” Luis Gozalez claimed to the magazine. Wow, hard to head off out-of-the-blue accusations like that! There has to be some evidence that Travolta didn’t spend the last 25 years exclusively getting massaged, right? Marty? Anyone? Hello?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Can’t a man just get one million massages in peace? Looks like the answer is no, seeing as how a fourth accuser has allegedly come forward with claims that John Travolta sexually harassed him. According to the personal trainer making the claims, Travolta inappropriately touched him at a gym. “The gym was opened as a courtesy to John Travolta so that he could avoid the public yet maintain his fitness in this physically challenging role that he was doing at the time. The gym employee says that John Travolta groped and fondled him against his will.” Oh lord, please don’t be referring to Face/Off. We don’t want anything sullying our memory of that amazing film.
Meanwhile, just because Travolta’s first accuser asked that his suit be dismissed does not mean he wants to forgo his day in court entirely. Instead, he has gone so far as to hire celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred to take his case. “I represent John Doe Number One,” Allred confirmed to People. “Mr. Doe’s lawsuit was dismissed without prejudice which means that he is still legally entitled to file another lawsuit against John Travolta if he chooses. We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take.” Allred is well known for representing clients involved in controversial lawsuits, including transgender Miss Universe contestant
Looks like John Travolta will be returning to a life of seemingly non-stop massages soon enough! According to E! News, the first masseur to accuse the Savages actor of sexual harassment last week has officially moved to dismiss the case. No word on what caused the still-unnamed claimant to submit the notice of dismissal, but it might have something to do with the apparently dependencies in his story. Soon after the masseur claimed Travolta manhandled his manhood on January 16, photos of the actor in New York taken that exact same day cropped up, forcing the claimant to admit that he might have been confused about the date and time. We completely understand how that could happen though! It’s hard to remember all the A-list stars we rub down with fragrant oils too, let alone recall the dates and times they made an appointment. What are we supposed to do? Put it in an appointment book?
However, John shouldn’t slip back into that pillowy soft towel just yet. While lawyer Okorie Okorocha dismissed the first masseur as this client, he still represents the other masseur alleging sexual harassment at Travolta’s hand, a man who is currently seeking $2 million as recompense for Travolta’s alleged inappropriate touching. And that’s not even counting the cruise ship accuser! Since it’s only Tuesday, maybe you should go ahead and avoid all spa-related activities for the rest of the week, John. Or, you know, hire a female masseur. Might be worth a try!
[Photo: Getty Images]
In addition to a spa rub-down and “glutes” work, John Travolta also allegedly enjoys a nice neck massage. A nice, gross neck massage. According to former Royal Caribbean cruise steward Fabian Zanzi, the Old Dogs actor allegedly asked for and received a very special, very inappropriate neck massage from him in 2009, when Zanzi stopped by to deliver something to Travolta’s stateroom. While TMZ located an official incident report about the encounter and it doesn’t mention any sexual harassment, Zanzi is now adding some previously undisclosed details to his story, allegations like “Travolta opened his robe and gave him a big hug while his penis was erect … and offered him $12,000 for sex and silence.” Fanzi was allegedly punished for giving the neck massage, even though giving the neck massage seems like it would itself be a form of punishment. In fact, it’s a Catch-22! It’s a vicious cycle of open robes and bear hugs!
Since he’s had to deal with so many similar claims over the past week, John Travolta’s lawyer Marty Singer was quick to deny the charges, claiming, “The incident report now confirms Mr. Zanzi fabricated his story about my client. He never stated that my client did anything wrong. Obviously, if he had engaged in any inappropriate conduct he would have reported it to his supervisors.” This story begs a lot of questions, most importantly: John Travolta takes cruises alone? How is that even possible? You’d think someone would notice a solitary Tony Manero hanging out near the seafood buffet, right?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Stories that John Travolta has propositioned his masseurs exploded over the Internet over the last two days. Well, him being gay is a rumor that has been around forever, but now that serious allegations of harassment are being pointed at him, the rumors are taking an ugly turn. A masseur is currently trying to sue Travolta for $2 million, for inappropriate sexual contact, saying that Travolta booked the masseur for a $200-an-hour massage appointment and then proceeded to grope him. He then, allegedly, suggested he be allowed to give the masseur a “reverse massage,” and said, “Come on dude, I’ll j— you off!!!”
Soon after, a second lawsuit emerged from another masseur in Atlanta, claiming even more inappropriate sexual conduct which included a lot more “glutes work.” While we’re waiting to hear about what Travolta’s team has to say about this second allegation, they’re already working hard on dismissing the first one, with a spokesperson saying, “This lawsuit is a complete fiction and fabrication. None of the events claimed in the suit ever occurred. The plaintiff, who refuses to give their name, knows that the suit is a baseless lie. It is for that reason that the plaintiff hasn’t been identified with a name, even though it is required to do so.”
Perhaps this bit of information from TMZ will help their case more. The first masseur says that the harassment went down at the Beverly Hills hotel in L.A., but the site has photographs of Travolta the same day that the supposed man-handling went down … in New York. Can’t be in two places at the same time, right? The photograph is dated January 16, and TMZ also has a receipt totaling $382 with the addition of a $100 tip paid by Travolta, the same day, at Mr. Chow, also in New York. How about that? This stuff could completely alter this suit! The second case details that the dirty business went down 12 days later, on January 28 in Atlanta, so we’re waiting to see what defense pops up from the actor’s team about that. Photographic evidence is pretty hard to refute.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Related: John Travolta Sued For Allegedly Grabbing Masseur’s Wiener
John Travolta Slapped With Second Lawsuit From Second Masseur After “Glutes” Work
Rumors about John Travolta’s questionable trips to the spa have been commonplace in Hollywood for years, but yesterday’s report alleging that the actor (possibly) attempted to give a “reverse massage” to his masseur may have opened the legal floodgates. Today a second masseur is stepping forward with a sexual battery lawsuit against, and is seeking $2 million in damages from Travolta. In a suit filed this morning by the same lawyer as the first case, an Atlanta-area spa-worker claims he was called to Travolta’s hotel suite back in January to give a deep tissue massage. Let’s head over to the exclusive documents provided by RadarOnline to tell us more tell us more!
“Travolta had ‘a strange demeanor, bloodshot eyes and climbed onto the already setup massage table…Travolta removed the entire sheet from his body, and he claimed the sheets were sticky and could not tolerate the heat… Travolta further indicated that he likes a lot of “Glutes” work meaning a massage on his buttocks.’”
First comes the shock of being hired to massage John Travolta. Then comes the shock of John Travolta unexpectedly manhandling your junk. Allegedly. According to TMZ, an unnamed masseur is currently attempting to sue the Savages actor for inappropriate sexual contact. According to the suit, Travolta booked the masseur for a $200-an-hour massage appointment. Travolta then groped him, suggested he be allowed to give the masseur a “reverse massage,” and suggested “Come on dude, I’ll j— you off!!!” The actor also allegedly told the masseur that, “Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favors in return for sexual activity.” Shockingly, the masseur turned down Travolta’s overtures, and his suit seeks over $2 million dollars, roughly the same amount we would pay to hear John Travolta say “reverse massage” while in character as Vinnie Barbarino. Or as the alien from Battlefield Earth.
Now, John Travolta gay rumors have been around forever; writer Robert Randolph even published a book entitled You’ll Never Spa In This Town Again which promised to reveal details about Travolta’s alleged same-sex exploits. Rumors that John Travolta is going around sexually harassing people, however, is a new one on us, so we’re going to take these allegations with a grain of salt. According to Travolta’s rep, “This lawsuit is a complete fiction and fabrication. None of the events claimed in the suit ever occurred.” Either way, we just hope this story has a…has a…has a happy ending! We did it everybody! Hurray! We’ve kept the same sense of humor we had when we were 13! We couldn’t have done it without you, John!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Actor Robert Hegyes died after an apparent heart attack in his native New Jersey yesterday, the New Jersey Star-Ledger reports. The 60-year-old, who acted on Broadway, co-starred in Cagney and Lacey and guest-starred in everything from the Drew Carey Show to Diagnosis Murder, will forever be remembered as high school student Juan Luis Pedro Filipo De Huevos Epstein, his role on Welcome Back, Kotter, from 1975-1979.
Most people think of Kotter as the show that made John Travolta’s career. Not me. Though of Italian descent himself, the Jewish Puerto Rican Hegyes played has always been a kind of icon for mixed-up products of immigration. As the daughter of a Dominican and a Hungarian Israeli, I basically grew up hearing “Juan Epstein” jokes all my life, and I can’t say I minded it. If people associated my crazy background with a wise-cracking kid on TV reruns, that seemed pretty cool to me. Even in a sitcom setting, Juan’s exchange with Gabe Kaplan’s Mr. Kotter in the first episode sounds mighty familiar.
Kotter: Your mother’s Puerto Rican?
Epstein: No, my father. My mother’s name is Bibberman.
Kotter: I didn’t know there were Epsteins in Puerto Rico.
Epstein: Oh, there weren’t. Until the winter of ’38, when a boat carrying a shivering Lou Epstein from Odessa to the Bronx stopped in San Juan.
Check out this video of the Kotter cast’s reunion at last year’s TV Land Awards.
In one of the more eerie stories we’ve heard in awhile, a man from Canada has posted a photograph of who he believes to be John Travolta from around 1860, on Ebay. We’re not talking about a movie, or any gimmick here. The dealer really does think that the “Original 1860′s Ambrotype” is John! Because the actor is a Scientologist, see? The dealer explains, “For those of you who don’t know, John Travolta is a Scientologist and many Scientologists can Time travel. The belief is that time travel is possible and may have even happened before to them in the past. Some events may not be remembered by the person….” He’s also asking for $250,000 for it! Time travel means big money.
All we know is that really is the spitting image of John. It’s totally bizarre that it was taken a 151 years ago because that could be a young Travolta. Considering Scientology also believe in reincarnation — let’s not throw that out of the window either! What do you guys think? The similarities are astounding, right?
[Photo via Ebay]