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Is Lindsay Lohan Becoming A Scientologist?

The good news: a successful adult with no financial stake in Lindsay Lohan has taken an interest in her well-being. The questionable news…it’s John Travolta. According to the National Enquirer, John is trying to get his on-and-off Gotti: Three Generations co-star to join the Church Of Scientology. “Even though producers were hesitant to hire Lindsay because of her troubled past. Travolta assured them he’d take her under his wing,” says their source. “He feels confident he’ll be able to keep her on the straight and narrow—now and forever.” Not ominous enough, pal—how about “keep her on the straight and narrow…permanently…with extreme prejudice.”

“John introduced Lindsay to one of the church’s top counselors and even though she’s been cast in a new role and won’t play the star’s daughter in the flick, she’s assured him she’ll still attend the series of induction classes that will make her a Scientologist.” This is quite the pickle for us nosy bystanders who refuse to mind our own business: while any viewer of South Park has their qualms about the Church, currently Lindsay’s adult role models are her parents Michael and Dina…say what you want about Xenu, but John, Tom Cruise and the other celebs blessed with healing hands are at least gainfully employed. Stevie Nicks, are you sure you won’t reconsider helping LiLo out?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Lindsay Lohan Dropped From Gotti Biopic

Don’t they usually hold press conferences after signing contracts? Gotti: Three Generations producer Mark Fiore says that Lindsay Lohan will not be playing Victoria Gotti in the upcoming biopic, despite posing with Victoria, John Gotti Jr. and attached star John Travolta at an event earlier this month. “We are not talking any further about Lindsay playing Victoria,” Fiore told People. “She is no longer being considered. The talks have stopped. We are going to meet with other people.”

Though Fiore says Lindsay’s legal woes “have nothing to do with it,” he hasn’t explained what did force him to drop her from the running (TMZ says that money and Lindsay’s managers were an issue). He shouldn’t blame folks for assuming otherwise, though—with Gotti losing director Nick Cassavettes due to scheduling conflicts and Lindsay headed to court after Easter, it sounds like this movie will have a hard enough time getting made without attaching to a drama magnet like LiLo.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Victoria Gotti And Lindsay Lohan Are Basically The Same Person

Now we know why Lindsay Lohan will play Victoria Gotti in the movie Gotti: Three Generations. Look at them — two peas in a pod! Lindsay and Victoria posed at a press conference with John Travolta (who is playing John Gotti Sr.)¬†and John Gotti Jr. to announce the film. Do you see why Li.Lo is Vicky G.’s first choice to play the younger version of her? They’re basically the same person a couple of decades apart, right down to the re-fried blond hair! Victoria does beat her on the volume though, but that’s nothing a couple of cans of hairspray can’t fix. But the real question here is: does Lindsay’s presence at the press conference mean that she’s bagged the role?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay Lohan In Talks To Star In Gotti Movie, Defies All Common Sense

Lindsay Lohan can never just star in a regular old rom-com, can she? Whether it’s appearing in a Deep Throat biopic or as Manson victim Sharon Tate, LiLo is always trying to get cast as part of the underbelly of human experience. Only this time, John Travolta and Kim Kardashian might be joining her there! Rumors are swirling that Lindsay Lohan’s Gotti movie role is almost official; Lindsay is allegedly in “final talks” to portray Victoria Gotti, daughter of Travolta’s John Gotti and sister-in-law to Kardashian’s Kim Gotti in Gotti: Three Generations. Let’s just go ahead and cast Paz De La Huerta as Angel Gotti and, oh let’s say, Smeagol from Lord Of The Rings as Carmine Gotti. There we have it: the biggest trainwreck in cinematic history!

Unfortunately, Lindsay would miss out on the opportunity to sleaze it up in what producer Marc Fiore claims is “going to be the new Godfather” if Lohan serves jail time; she won’t know her fate until after her court date on April 22. Being in prison would, of course, also impact Lohan’s Superman casting, if that is still on the table. Hey, if the Gotti thing doesn’t pan out, Lindsay, there’s always Human Centipede: The Musical. No, we were just joking. Lindsay! No!

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John Travolta Turns Down Glee

Of all the dozens of celebrities who have been beating down Ryan Murphy‘s door to land a guest role on Glee, it turns out John Travolta is not one of them. Travolta says he turned down a role on the Fox show, citing the fact that he needs months, not a week, to prepare for his musical theater roles. He told Entertainment Tonight “They’ve asked but when I do musicals I train for six to nine months…and a show like that is an on-demand thing. I really have a criteria or a pride that I would wanna knock ‘em dead,” he continued. “I don’t think I’d knock ‘em dead in a week.”

We can’t fault the guy for being a perfectionist, but we know there are a lot of people who would kill for the opportunity (Elton John, for one, still hasn’t gotten his invite to be on the show). Maybe Travolta’s Grease co-star Olivia Newton-John, who has appeared on the show, will talk some sense in to him and convince him to take the role. The pair, seen here at the G’Day USA Black Tie Gala this week, are longtime friends ever since they engaged in some sweet summer lovin’ as 35-year-old high school students back in the day. Check out some shots of them through the years in our gallery below and let us know what you think, should Travolta be so picky about singing with the Gleeks?

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[Photo: Getty Images]

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Kelly Preston Discusses Her Crazy-Sounding Silent Birth Process

Kelly Preston went on The Today Show this morning to discuss her new son Benjamin, who was born last November, and she certainly sounds like a blissed-out new mom. It’s great to hear that Benjamin is helping Preston and husband John Travolta heal over the tragic death of their eldest son Jett, who passed away after having a seizure in 2009. What’s a little more bizarre are the details of Preston’s “silent birth,” the Scientology-approved method where women are completely non-verbal and stay as quiet as possible during their labor. You might recall that Katie Holmes reportedly went through silent birth with Suri in 2005.

Preston explains “Silent birth is basically just no words as much as possible. If you need to moan, if you need to cry out…of course that’s normal. But, it’s just bringing them in, in as peaceful and gentle a way as possible.” Well, we can appreciate the motives behind this, but it still sounds a little wackadoo to us. It gets even more wackadoo when she continues “L. Ron Hubbard found that the single source of aberration, of psychosomatic illnesses, stress, fears, worry, things like that, have to do with the reactive mind, and in that part of the mind is different words and commands that can come back to affect you later in your life.” When we read that part, all we could imagine was the sound that the grown-ups make in Peanuts cartoons when they talk. We just don’t buy it. But the important thing is that she believes it, and she’ll be the one who’s saved when the aliens come back to earth to kill us/save us/whatever the Scientology aliens do.

by (@hallekiefer)

TheFABLife’s Ten Biggest Hollywood Hacks Of 2010

Katherine Heigl, Brendan Fraser, Nic Cage & Boo Boo

It can happen to the best of us. One minute you’re lounging in your silken dressing robes, sipping cognac while you stare into a fire made out of $100 bills, the next minute you realize, whoops, you forgot to make those lease payments on your private island! For the past 12 years! Oh, did we mention that you’re a famous actor in this scenario?

Rather than pull a Wesley Snipes (too soon?) and settle for homemade toilet wine while serving 3-5, most actors would instead start taking any role they can get to pump their bank accounts back into shape. And we do mean any: a filthy wizard, a GCI Great Dane, even a Katherine Heigl type. So we offer for your approval the Ten Biggest Hollywood Hacks of 2010, ten actors who seemed almost certainly to have been in it for the money, tax issues or otherwise. The economy might be in the gutter, but that doesn’t mean celebrities can’t get paid millions of dollars to star in awful, awful movies. By the way, are you going to finish that toilet wine?

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Rumors We Love: “Miracle Baby” Saved John Travolta’s Sham Marriage

John Travolta Kelly Preston

Make up your mind, National Enquirer! Is John Travolta‘s marriage to Kelly Preston a sham or not? Three months ago, the tabloid had author Robert Randolph take a polygraph before publishing his claims that Travolta “is totally into guys and has been having sex with them behind Kelly’s back for years.” Now the Pulitzer-nominated news source has a new story, one of a couple that was on the outs…until brought together by new baby Benjamin.

According to their “insiders,” the pair were fighting constantly after the tragic death of son Jett, with Kelly resentful that Scientologist bigwig John wouldn’t accept the boy’s autism diagnosis. “After one bitter blowup, a furious Kelly stormed out on John with 10-year-old daughter Ella in tow—and fled to the home of a Florida friend,” they say, crediting the “miracle pregnancy of 48-year-old” Kelly for bringing these lovebirds back together. Was the baby a miracle because John was off sexing every guy he could? After all, isn’t this union supposed to be a “total fraud”? Pick a narrative and stick to it, guys.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

New Baby For John Travolta And Kelly Preston

Congratulations, family Travolta! John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston just welcomed their new baby boy Benjamin, yesterday, in Florida. They’ve released a statement which reads, “John, Kelly and their daughter Ella Bleu are ecstatic and very happy about the newest member of the family. Both mother and baby are healthy and doing beautifully.”

Baby prep has been on since Kelly got pregnant, which was great news for the family considering they tragically lost their son Jett Travolta to a seizure last year. And since is such a happy time, we’re totally going to ignore that book about John having affairs with other men (even thought it’s really hard to). Enjoy it!

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Attack Of Terrible Facial Hair: The 10 Worst Celebrity Beards

beards

Something scary has been popping up all over Hollywood (no, it’s not Lindsay Lohan): famous dudes with freakish facial hair. You may recall the growth that metastasized on Spencer Pratt‘s face recently, or perhaps you’ve noticed¬† Conan O’Brien‘s post-Tonight Show debacle hair-bellion that has yet to subside. Earlier this year Brad Pitt got in on the act and uglified his glorious mug. But still we persevered, surviving on the smooth skinned hunks still left in LaLa Land. But when Robert Pattinson, the ultimate GWPAVTILFPPP (guy who plays a vampire that I’d like to f*ck pretty pretty please), started roaming North America with a serious “I’m trying to hide from everyone” beard, our heart officially broke in two and then grew a goatee.

Men, enough. You cannot continue uglifying yourself in this way. We ladies slave away stripping the hair off of every feasible body part we can find – the least you could do is splurge on some shaving cream and spend five minutes scrapping that roadkill of your chin. Until you do we’ll be hold up in this fortress we’ve put together made solely of razor blades. Take a hint!

10. Zac Efron
9. Robert Pattinson
8. David Beckham
7. Ryan Gosling
6. Conan O’Brien
5. John Travolta
4. Brad Pitt
3. Mel Gibson
2. Spencer Pratt
1. Joaquin Phoenix

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