You know what I really hope my dad does if I’m ever arrested? Calls up Radar Online and blames everything on my mom. That’s what reigning Father of the Year Michael Lohan did this morning, upon learning ofLindsay Lohan’s arrest for allegedly punching a woman in the face at a New York nightclub.
“I TOLD you exactly what would happen and YOU KNOW I was trying to get Dina on board with me for a long time, BUT especially the last two weeks,” he told the site. “Lindsay is acting out in numerous ways because she needs us and internally she’s hurt and angry! Again, it’s ALL on Dina and I wish to God she would stop and resolve things with us to do the same for our children.”
That’s super helpful, ML! I’m sure Lindsay appreciates your support. Read more…
In TMZ’s video footage of Lindsay Lohan being taken away in cuffs by the NYPD this morning, the actress can be heard echoing everyone’s thoughts: “Are you kidding me?” Nope, unfortunately, they were not kidding. According to WABC, Lohan was arrested at 4 a.m. outside New York’s Club Avenue and charged with third-degree assault for allegedly striking a 28-year-old woman in the face.
According to TMZ, law enforcement sources say Lindsay and the other woman were seated at different booths in the club and exchanged heated words. Lindsay reportedly told her, “Give me my space,” and shortly after that punched the woman in the face. By 8 a.m., Lohan was released from the station with a desk appearance ticket. The woman, who was snapped leaving the precinct as well, did not need medical treatment.
We’re really kind of wondering if Lindsay just feels like she has nothing to lose these days. She’s facing a possible return to jail already, if it’s determined that her lie to the cops about driving in her accident this summer amounts to a probation violation. We can only imagine what an assault charge would do to that case. She dodged a bullet earlier this year when prosecutors decided not to charge her for that alleged hit-and-run — in front of another New York club.
Linds, please stay away from the clubs. Also, let a bodyguard fight your battles for you!
Here’s an unfortunate gallery of Lindsay’s mugshots. (SMH.)
Everyone has something negative to say about Lindsay Lohan these days and the same goes for her new Lifetime biographical piece based on the love of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Liz & Dick. Last night was the debut of the highly anticipated film, and today it’s the butt of jokes all over social media. Of course so much was riding on the her performance in this film; not only did she have the tricky task of doing the screen legend’s diamond-encrusted life justice, but the flick was generally seen as a make-or-break attempt at a career comeback. Unfortunately, the film didn’t capture the hearts of viewers the way Liz has so many times throughout her career in films such as the sexually frustrated Cat in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof or the dynamically powerful Cleopatra.
But regardless of whether Lindsay’s acting in the film was horrible or not, we have to remember she has made some films in her career that are staples in pop culture history. Who could forget Mean Girls, where we see every high school girl of this generation’s life being simulated through a quirky story of lies. Don’t get us started on the young starry eyed, red-haired girl we all fell in love with when she fooled us all into believing she had an identical twin in The Parent Trap. Then there’s the under the radar film Bobby, based on the shooting of Robert F. Kennedy where she shined bright as Hollywood Film Festival’s Best Breakthrough Actress of 2006 playing the role of Diane Howser.
We’re not sure whether or not Lindsay Lohan’s career can rise from the ashes, but instead of joining the roasting session this time around, we’ll take a second to bask in some of her best on screen moments.
[Photo: Walt Disney, New Line Cinema, The Weinstein Company]
It’s like we’re stuck in a pop culture time warp! First we are forced to visually revisit The Rihanna/Chris Brown Situation, which everyone and their mother (except for maybe Mom Breezy) wished had ended three years ago, and now this. In a new interview with Us Weekly, Lindsay Lohan spills the beans on her relationship with DJ Sam Ronson…which ended in 2009. What? Well, of course we’re still going to read the interview. We’re not that morally upstanding. “I was bold enough to say, ‘Yeah, I like a girl. And?,’” Lindsay explains to the magazine. “That put her in a situation where she was being attacked every day. That’s not fair. And what am I left with? Heartbreak.” Adds Lohan, “That was three years ago. It was my last serious relationship.” Wow, so this was Lindsay’s next P.R. move after the premiere of Liz & Dick? We know nostalgia is huge right now, but this is a tad ridiculous.
It’s been a hectic couple of days (years) for Lindsay Lohan, so we totally understand why she looked a little nervous and fidgety as she sat down with Jay Leno yesterday for The Tonight Show. She seemed to be channeling all her worry — over her probation being revoked, how people would receive her big role in Lifetime’s Liz & Dick this weekend, the latest family drama — into fussing over her dress, which is the one thing that shouldn’t have bothered her, since sheer paneling was preventing those interesting arm straps from giving way. Her hair color was actually what bothered us most about her look on the show — she needs to protect that kind of red from the sun or something. But actually, what impressed us most about this appearance was how skillfully Leno took the interview to an awkward place and then backed down.
“You canceled Barbara Walters, and Barbara looked a little bit upset, so what happened there?” Jay asked, addressing the elephant in the room, that 20/20, not Tonight, was supposed to be Lindsay’s big sit-down of the week. “It’s just the timing wasn’t right, right now,” Lindsay explained vaguely, while messing with her hair and straps. Read more…
Like the changing of the seasons, the slow creep of the tides, the tick of nature’s eternal clock, so to must Lindsay Lohan‘s probation be revoked as part of the universe’s unending dance through time. In case you were still pondering the question “Will Lindsay Lohan’s fender bender land her back in jail?,” the answer is allegedly a resounding yes. TMZ had originally claimed the Santa Monica City Attorney would file charges against Lilo for falsely claiming her assistant Gavin had been driving when her Porsche slammed into a truck this summer. Now the site reports that, uh, well, that is actually happening right now. Allegedly. TMZ claims that L.A. County Superior Court Judge Jane Godfrey will allegedly revoke Lohan’s probation and set a full hearing for a later date. This is all too depressing. We can’t even enjoy fantasizing about the couture pantsuit we know Lindsay will bust out for the occasion.
In case you lost tract of why Lindsay Lohan was even on probation to behind with and why this is still going on, the answers to those two questions are “That time Lindsay stole that jewelry for no perceivable reason” and “God only knows, our friend. God only knows.” As far as we can tell…it’s just the way of the world.
Watch the video above and you’ll see something fairly extraordinary: A person learning they have a long lost sibling, and then treating it like it’s NBD and getting right back on the promotional pitch! Yesterday it was revealed that Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael fathered a lovechild back in the 90s, but we guess no one got around to telling her. She apparently first heard the news this morning during a television interview.
The controversial actress (polite euphemism for train-wreck) made an appearance on Good Morning America with Amy Robach today to discuss the airing of her upcoming TV-movie, Liz and Dick. But as so often happens, conversation turned towards her troubled history and family life, including the news of her newly discovered half-sister. Her reaction? “I didn’t even hear that, so thanks for the news!” Annnnnd then it was right back in the discussion of Elizabeth Taylor. Amazing! Either she’s really single minded, or maybe that was just her way of deflecting salacious family gossip and getting back to the task at hand: Resurrecting her career.
The Lifetime produced flick is certainly the most talked about made-for-TV-movie in recently memory, and people are eagerly waiting to see if it will be Lohan’s return to form. She admits channeling her own experiences while playing the role of screen legend, Elizabeth Taylor, who was also ruthlessly scrutinized by the media. “I think that everyone goes through things in life, and I like to learn from my mistakes, obviously,” she says. “But I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone through certain things, everything happens for a reason, good or bad. So you can just take what you’ve learned from it and move forward.” We’ll tune in on the 25th to see if Lilo moves forward, or just gets into another fender bender.
He’s backkkk! Michael Lohan continues to be our all time favorite D-lister ever (sorry Octomom) by finding new and exciting ways to make us loath him. But get ready, because this time he truly out done himself. The slightly-less-terrible Lilo parent went on television to learn through DNA testing that he fathered a lovechild in the 90s while married to slightly-more-terrible Lilo parent Dina. The Maury-rific experience went down on Trisha Goddard’s NBC show, where Mike was joined by Kristi Horn, who has made numerous claims over the years that he is the real father of her 17-year-old daughter. Despite the accusations, Michael has repeatedly denied that the child is his, has never paid her a dime in child support, and apparently never even met the child.
So what do you do when you’re have no real talent of your own, and your cash-cow daughter’s comeback projects are looking increasingly crappy? Take your private matters to the most public venue possible! Michael learned the results of his DNA test in front of Kristi, his new-found daughter Ashley, and a studio audience. Let us level with you for a moment: We’ve been at this bloggin’ business for while by now, and we’ve seem some pretty cringe-worthy videos. This Beyonce fan fail springs immediately to mind. But when we watched the video of Michael learning that he was the real dad, our mouths were literally open in bewildered/disgusted wonderment. Bonus points for the girl rejecting Mike’s hug with a teary “No! No! No! This is the first time I’ve met you. I’m sorry, but…” After years of paternal rejection, Ol’ Mike probably had it coming. The full episode airs tonight, but we’re not sure we can take anymore.
You’re tearing us apart, Lindsay! We’ve never made a movie, let alone a teaser trailer, but the new noir teaser trailer for Lindsay Lohan‘s The Canyons bares a striking resemblance to 2003′s The Room, an erotic thriller directed by Tommy Wiseau and beloved by b-movie fans everywhere. Because it’s so over-the-top terrible. We’re not saying the movies are in any way alike. We’re just saying some of their similarities include:
The dialogue: “No one has a private life anymore, Tara,” James Deen spits. “Hoo boy,” we say out loud at our computer screens.
The actual film: We’re hoping it’s just because the teaser is in black and white, but the Canyons footage itself kind of looks like an episode of Two And A Half Men. Why…why is that?
That one guy’s tank top and that other guy’s backward baseball cap: The costuming looks like they stole several key pieces from the wardrobe department at The Room, aka Tommy Wiseau’s dressing room!
Someone is using a land line: What is this, 2003? The year Tommy Wiseau made The Room?
Honestly, terrible camp might not be a bad route to take when it comes to Lilo’s career. This can be Lindsay’s midnight movie classic, the film she made right before rocking back to the A-list with…um, Lifetime’s Liz & Dick. Okay, so maybe this movie is actually a comedy and we’ll all be pleasantly surprised by how self-aware it is? The “twitter-obsessed” Bret Easton Ellis jib and “never-nominated” credits give us hope. Either way, we’ll all find out soon enough. Thanks a lot. Bye!
We’d love to think that Barbara Walters is currently throwing things around her dressing room yelling, “No one says no to Babs!” Because Lindsay Lohan just did, and what’s worse is that she first said yes to a televised sit-down, and then pulled out a week before its scheduled airtime. La Lohan was supposed to be on for 20/20, on November 16, a week before Liz & Dick debuted, which as you know, has the actress portraying Elizabeth Taylor. But L.L’s personal life has led to her new PR team, Rogers & Cowen, to pull the plug with Walters as the journalist was planning to talk to Lindsay about the car crash she was in. Which one? Frankly, we’ve lost count as she’s been in too many car accidents to remember. We’re guessing it’s the one she may have lied about to cops. That’s what it is — the one where Lindsay drove her Porsche into the back of an 18-wheeler. Apparently, when they first agreed to the interview, it was just supposed to be about the movie, but then her people caught whiffs about the fact that Walters was going to open that whole crash can of worms. And they were unsure about Lindsay’s responses as they felt that her mouth could get her into trouble. Or mess up her probation terms, so they put the muzzle on. And we actually agree with them. Why else would Babs want to talk about the accident? Because she totally knew she’d get some juicy stuff out of Lindsay! For shame, Barbara!