The tests are in and the blood confirms it – Lindsay Lohan has a new half sister. The 13-year-old Montana native Ashley Kaufmann is the latest dysfunctional Lohan to emerge on the scene, after DNA testing proved that Michael Lohan is indeed her father. Her mom Kristi and everyone’s favorite celebu-dad did the nasty back in 1995 when he was separated from then-wife Dina. Michael says it was a random, week-long hook-up, while Kristi claims it was love. Regardless, they’ve now got a kid together, who looks a little like Lindsay and a lot like her little sister, Aliana, who’s just a couple years older than Ashley. Awkwardddd!
The most disturbing thing about the whole affair is how ready-for-fame Ashley and Kristi are. Both are excellent at relaying their sad tale of Lohan scorn, and we even see Ashley do a couple takes in the clip above while discussing changing her last name to Lohan (answer: nope!). And while Kristi is obviously much more naturally beautiful that Dina Lohan, there’s no way she can possibly match the red-head den mother in media savvy and manipulative smarts. Is this mother-daughter team ready for the hell that is Hollywood? If the money is right, we bet the answer is yes. [Video: Splash News Online]
Scandalist is intrigued with Lindsay Lohan‘s new stalker (no, it’s not her dad), who lunged at the starlet at 1:30 AM today as she hung out at a Scottsdale, Arizona club where Samantha Ronson was DJing. According to the club’s owner, the dude flipped when he saw his dream girl. “The gentleman became very excited when he realized he was so close to Samantha, and he has a history of being a stalker with Lindsay Lohan, so he immediately attacked her and started yelling ‘I love her, I love her,’” said Dan Wierck.
The crazy dude – who remains unnamed and in police custody – was immediately tackled by cops, and Linds was ushered out of the club unscathed. And while her stalker is clearly so insane that all the blood rushed to his face when he saw her and apparently stayed there, he’s not a complete mess (on the outside). Uma Thurman‘s psychotic stalker is batsh*t nuts – and bald. We having a feeling superficial Linds would not be down with that. [Photo: Splash News Online]
We get that the 90s are the new 80s, and everyone wants to get a piece of the Gen X fashion trend. But leave it to Lindsay Lohan to overdose on expensive fashion inspired by Eddie Vedder‘s early days. The “actress” was spotted seeking attention while shopping in Beverly Hills, stomping the streets in Doc Martens, terrible, tight, ripped jeans, and a knit cap. She looks like she’s headed to a Screaming Trees concert, not splurging at Kitson. [Photo: Splash News Online]
What’s the next best thing to having an Oscar-worthy career? Snuggling up to someone who does! That’s apparently Lindsay Lohan‘s latest plan, which we assume she is executing to assist her floundering acting career (never fear – her job selling leggings to fashion-clueless tweens is going really well). Our sweet pseudo-lesbian was busy “nuzzling” with Sean Penn at a private dinner for his new, acclaimed flick Milk. Girlfriend Sam Ronson was nowhere to be seen, so Linds made a beeline for the bad boy actor, and they two apparently engaged in Nuzzlefest 2008 before heading out into the night together.
The real question is not whether these two supposedly hooked up (if it didn’t happen this week, it will someday, knowing their libidos), but rather: what the f*ck is nuzzling? Doesn’t it involve rubbing someone with one’s nose? If that’s the case, we wouldn’t be surprised if Sean had a bag of coke stuck in his ear, and Lindsay was just trying to sniff it out. [FoxNews. Photo: FilmMagic]
Are you listening, Marc Zuckerberg? Lindsay Lohan has some serious beef with your magical social networking site Facebook, and she’s taken to her Myspace blog (ouch) to rant about it. Apparently Lindsay is sick of her Facebook account getting disabled while numerous fake accounts using her name still exist on the site, and she expects someone to do something about it, damn it. Forget the economy – this is the number one crisis facing Americans today! Here’s some of her poignant and groundbreaking post:
facebook allows a lot of posers, i thought maybe they would figure out that the posers of me, (and i am sure others on facebook) were in fact posers by looking into their accounts, or sending emails to the people that they believed to be “posers” which ask questions. what those questions may be.. i don’t know. which is why i don’t run an interactive web site. on that note, this is what happened to me earlier today… i signed onto facebook with my new password because someone keeps hacking into my account, and when i typed my password and “log in” name in, a red sentence came up saying.. Account Disabled. Your account has been disabled by an administrator. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here. wow! i was in shock. i clicked on the link that they told me to click on and then to another link that said: my account may of been disabled by mistake. once i got to that it gave a note saying why it was disabled which stated the note saying that it was disabled because they believe that i was a fake of myself. genius…
maybe i am just venting, but i am also writing this blog in hopes that the people at facebook will un-disable my account and allow me to sign in the EXACT same way it was, same friends, same emails, same “pets” and so on..
Alarming stuff, right? Her post was a bit redundant and therefore we cut some of her rambling, but you can peep the whole thing on her very real Myspace page. She also alerted readers via blog post that she and Sam Ronson are still very much together and bumpin’ uglies. Wouldn’t Twitter be a lot easier – and shorter?
This Thanksgiving, instead of giving thanks for tired old things like a loving family (did that last year), good health (but you do have that nagging cold) and caring friends (who really just use up your phone minutes), why don’t you give thanks for the things that truly bring you joy, day in and day out: ladies. Whether they’re simply running around on a ridiculous tropical vacation or getting into some crazy hijinks, these ladies serve to brighten our otherwise dull days with vicious catfights and tons of skin.
Last weekend, Lindsay Lohan was accosted by an anti-fur activist in Paris, who dumped a bag of flour all over the starlet as she walked the red carpet before a party at the VIP Room. There were no pics of the incident, but video of the attack has finally surfaced! It’s oddly hilarious to watch Lindsay squeal “OhMyGod. OhMyGodddddddd” as she wanders around covered in fur. Spoken like a true American in Paris. [via ONTD]
Well, it wasn’t a coincidence that saw Robert de Niro, Denzel Washington, Wesley Snipes, Ben Affleck, Lily Allen, Charlize Theron, Michael Jordan, Mischa Barton, Mary-Kate Olsen and Lindsay Lohan (plus SamRo, natch) all turn up in Dubai last night. They were all (plus lots more hangers-on) attending the launch of the $1.5 billion Atlantis resort on the man-made Palm Jumeirah island. If you’re feeling financially embarrassed by the credit squeeze at the moment, you might not want to know that the launch party cost $22 million, and celebrities enjoyed eating tons of lobster, smoked salmon, oysters and champagne, while watching Kylie Minogue perform a set in front of the world’s biggest fireworks display. Oh, and they were all flown out there for free, and got to stay in suites worth tens of thousands of dollars a night.
Next time you hear someone complain about “loss of privacy” or “paparazzi intrusion”, just look at their happy little faces last night. Honestly, it’s totally worth it. [Photo: Getty Images]
Lindsay Lohan can’t resist ruining a good thing. Samantha Ronson is sweet, stable and has hot legs, and yet all Lindsay can think of is flirting with her ex-boyfriend Calum Best. That’s the story out of London today, where Lindsay ruffled her girlfriend’s feathers after she apparently danced with former flame Calum Best at the Boujis nightclub. Shouldn’t a maneater like Linds know better than to pit her current flame against her ex?
The result was the usual routine Sam and LiLo go through just about every night: Sam got jealous. They fought inside their car after leaving the club at 3:45 AM. Lindsay cried. Sam stomped off into their hotel. Lindsay sat in the car for ten minutes.
We’ve got ‘em pictured above leaving the club right before the shizz hit the fan. Sam sure looks pissed, but Lindsay’s smiling. Thinking sweet thoughts of Calum, perhaps? [Photo: Splash News Online]