What did Justin Bieber write in Anne Frank‘s guestbook that was so offensive? Which famous funnyman officiated Matt Damon‘s vow renewal ceremony? And which U.S. President is now a grandfather? All this in today’s First Dibs.
Why is Matt Damon‘s upcoming vow renewal ceremony going to be the place to be? Which famous male co-star is Sir Ian McKellan marrying? Plus, who’s writing Carly Rae Jepsen‘s new hit song?
After being “bumped” from Jimmy Kimmel Live “1,205″ times for the past 10 years, Matt Damon exacted his revenge on the late-night host by kidnapping him, tying him to a chair and hosting one of our favorite stunt episodes of a talk show ever. Andy Garcia (sporting a hilarious fake accent), Nicole Kidman, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, Amy Adams, Gary Oldman, Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Silverman, “band leader” Sheryl Crow and a very weird-looking Demi Moore all made appearances — thus proving that Matt could get anyone and everyone to visit (not that Kimmel’s ever really had trouble with that). And of course, it turned into a great big roast of the host, who recently got his show moved up an hour to the highly competitive 11:35 p.m. slot. Here are our 5 favorite insults (of many!):
“Kimmel is the Death Star, big and round and easily destroyed through his garbage hole.” Matt Damon, who likewise compared himself to Luke Skywalker
“He’s just, he’s not classy.” — Nicole Kidman on why she’s never been on the show before
We’re betting the second Lance Armstrong agreed to do that revealing Oprah interview this week, a million Hollywood execs shed a single tear, knowing there could be only one Lance Armstrong cheating scandal movie. According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures and producer JJ Abrams beat them all to the punch, closing the deal on the filmmaking rights to the proposal for Cycle of Lies: The Fall Of Lance Armstrong, a book to be written by sports reporter Juliet Macur. That’s right: they bought the proposal to a book that has not yet been written. Now we want to shed a single tear over how genius that is.
Since it’ll be a little while before shooting starts, we have plenty of time to pitch potential actors to play America’s Most Hated Athlete (You’re welcome, Manti Te’o!). As for who should play his ex Sheryl Crow…um, obviously it should be Sheryl Crow herself. Wouldn’t you love to star in your ex’s downfall story? Meanwhile, we’d love to see Sheryl across from…
It looks like Tina Fey has heard our fervent prayers and decided to bring back Salma Hayek for the series finale of 30 Rock on January 31. She already answered our prayers that both Nancy Pelosi and Ice-T be somehow included in the episode, which makes us realize we have a lot of extremely weird, hyper-specific prayers. Hayek will be returning as Jack Donaghy’s ex-girlfriend Elisa, the love interest we all known Alec Baldwin should have been with all along. So since we’re bringing back the show’s greatest guest stars, can we please request that Matt Damon return as Liz Lemon’s ex Carol? Because he is obviously who she should have ended up with all along. Please?
It’s not that we don’t like James Marsden‘s character Criss. He and Liz had a lovely, weirdo court house wedding this past November. It’s just that we don’t like James Marsden’s Criss as much as Matt Damon’s weepy, stubborn Carol. Carol and Liz were the perfect match! It’s only because Matt Damon had a bustling film career that his character couldn’t stick around. (No offense, Marsden.) We would be peeved to see Jack end up with his soulmate and Liz stuck with a partner that was not quite as perfect. Then again, apparently Julianne Moore‘s Nancy will also be popping back up in the finale episode. If Tina Fey decides to pair her with Jack and neglects to invite Damon back…well, we wash our hands of this finale entirely! You might as well forget to invite Rachel Dratch while you’re at it!
We all tuned to Liz & Dick for Lindsay Lohan‘s performance, but there was so much more for us to see: the wigs, the costumes, the acerbic banter, the communal Twitter experience, THE WIGS. Can we please do it all again, but this time with a TV movie that might actually be good? That’s our wish for the New Year now that we read Matt Damon‘s Playboy comments about HBO’s Liberace biopic. “Well, normally I’d say no to nudity, but I just did a lot of it playing the long-term partner of Liberace, Scott Thorson, in Behind the Candelabra,” the Bourne Legacy actor explained. “I mean, it’s tastefully done. Steven Soderbergh directed it, and Michael Douglas plays Liberace. But this movie’s not going to be for everyone.” Obviously not! This movie is going to be for us. Didn’t you immediately think of five things to tweet after reading that quote? And if we were tweeting at the same time? Well…is there anything better?
Good lord! That’s the most severe case of Dad ‘Stache we’ve ever seen! Will Ferrell was spotted at Art Basel in Miami this week, wearing what we can only assume is a costume for his upcoming role as a wise old fisherman. Or our uncle from Chicago. Our wise, old fisherman uncle from Chicago. Seeing as how the SNL alum is usually clean-shaven/the star of our elaborate Anchorman-themed fantasies, these photos go to show the devastation a bad mustache can bring to a celebrity’s handsome face. Ferrell obviously isn’t the only one to suffer a terrible lip rug, as our 10 Worst Celeb Mustaches can attest. Michael Cera? James Franco? Mickey Rourke? We don’t know why a line of hair can make so much of a difference, but it does. A terrible, terrible difference.
[Photo: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]
We’d like to start by saying that we love our work. We just love pizza, ice cream cakes and those Girl Scout cookies with the coconut a hell of a lot more. And that’s the thing that separates us from the truly great actors. Well, that and a zillion KFC buckets worth of talent! Uber-dedicated movie stars will sometimes go the extra mile and put their bodies through insane physical transformations that make us sore just watching them up there on the big screen. Many hit the gym ruthlessly to purge every excess pound from their body and slim down, while some (occasionally) take a few weeks to pack on the pounds for a role. If it were us we’d choose the pound-packing parts exclusively, but hey!
More recently Anne Hathaway, Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto took the tougher route and each shed an unbelievable amount of weight for their respective roles. Anne famously lost 25 pounds for the part of Fantine in the big screen adaptation of Les Miserables by eating two thin squares of oatmeal paste a day! We imagine that includes no dessert? McConaughey jettisoned his Magic Mike six-pack to play the HIV positive lead in Dallas Buyers Club, and his whopping 40 pound weight loss has lead some to wonder if he’s going too far. It’s got to be rough, but they certainly aren’t the first famous folks to go through such a dramatic body overhaul before going in front of the camera. Head on down to the gallery below for more thespians who took their bodies to crazy town, all in the name of their art. Sit down with a nice bag of chips and enjoy!
[Photo: Splash News Online/Getty Images/Universal Pictures]
Being from Boston, we were always very proud of Matt Damon. Sure, it was pretty cool when he won an Oscar for Good Will Hunting at the ridiculously young age of 28 along side fellow Boston bud Ben Affleck. But to be honest, we just never thought we’d see an action hero who spoke with that accent. You know, dropping the “R’s” left and right. OK we had Mark Wahlberg. But let’s be real, for a while he just couldn’t compare. His street cred took a hit after those underwear ads. Yet from the moment we saw Matt pack heat in Saving Private Ryan, Boston had a new hometown hero. Need more reasons? There are so many to choose from! Of course there’s the Bourne series and the Ocean’s 11, but there’s also The Departed, The Adjustment Bureau and Syriana. Hell, even Dogma kicked so much ass that it made us forget all about Stuck On You…after a while, at least. And he’s better than ever and still going strong, having just wrapped filming on the sci-fi thriller Elysium. Would you believe that the bay-state badass is turning 42 today! How ’bout them apples? Head down to the gallery below to check out his 20 best action star looks!
[Photo: Warner Brothers/Universal/Dream Works]
We all get by with a little help from our friends, but celebs even more so. After all, Hollywood is a tough biz, and the only way to survive the ups and downs of Tinseltown is by surrounding yourself with a few true pals who will stick by your side in good times as well as during the bumps and slumps. We’ve long loved the enduring bond Oprah Winfrey and her BFF Gayle King share, and got teary-eyed this awards season watching Busy Phillips escort her nominated pal Michelle Williams to every event in town. And who can resist dudes like Tom Sturridge and Robert Pattinson and Jay-Z and Kanye West, who are always on hand to support each other’s personal and professional triumphs?
And then there are gals like Snooki and J-Woww, who have stuck by each other from day one in the Jersey Shore house. Through booze, bitch slaps, anonymous note-leaving, Vinny sex and drunken fights on the streets of Italy, they’ve never left each other’s side. The girls have a new reality show premiering tonight on MTV chronicling — what else? — the ups and downs of their friendship. In honor of their unbreakable bond, we’ve got 35 of the Most Adorable Celebrity Besties in the gallery below. Have a fave pair? Shout ‘em out in the comments.