by (@missmuttoo)

Mel Gibson Turn Himself In For Booking, Is Released On Bail

If Jodie Foster was crying before, she should be bawling right about now. Foster’s good friend Mel Gibson turned himself in at the El Segundo Police Department in Southern California last night. Fortunately for him, and unfortunately for the general population, Mel was released in about an hour after posting 10% of the set $20,000 bail. Judge Stephanie Sautner (also of Lindsay Lohan fame) had given the actor a week to turn himself for booking because of his criminal battery case concerning ex-GF Oksana Grigorieva, and he complied with her ruling last night at 9.30 pm.

Mel’s report stated him to be 55 years old and weighing 190 pounds at 5-feet-ten inches. Hopefully, he won’t get mad and take a swing at someone for revealing his weight. This is Hollywood, guys. The angry actor’s been sentenced to complete 16 hours of community service and he’s also on three years probation. Mel also has to attend one year of domestic violence counseling. We still think he got off easy considering he was charged with battery (so he won’t see any jail time). Now all we have to do is wait for the mugshot to emerge. Charlie Sheen has the rest of the cray-cray covered.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Jodie Foster Weeps For Mel Gibson’s “Lifetime Of Pain”

Most people in Hollywood haven’t stood behind delicate flower Mel Gibson (mostly for fear that he’ll whip around and punch them), which makes it even stranger to hear Jodie Foster say she loves Mel Gibson in a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter. “He’s so incredibly loving and sensitive, he really is,” Foster says of Gibson, who was charged with misdemeanor battery last week. “He is the most loved actor I have ever worked with on a movie. And he’s not saintly, and he’s got a big mouth, and he’ll do gross things your nephew would do. But I knew the minute I met him that I would love him the rest of my life.” Gross things our nephew would do? Foster must have some pretty intense relatives if she’s comparing Mel to a teenage troublemaker.

Having directed Gibson in the upcoming The Beaver, Foster sees the actor with rose-colored glasses that no one else on the planet has access too. “God, I love that man,” Jodie says, growing misty-eyed. “The performance he gave in this movie, I will always be grateful for. He brought a lifetime of pain to the character that we’ve been talking about for years, that I knew was part of his psyche and who he is. It’s part of him that is beautiful and that I want people to know, too. I can’t ever regret that.” What could be more beautiful and cause someone more pain than being a famous person who assaults his girlfriend and calls Jewish people “oven-dodgers”? Mel’s like a sonnet in human form! As if Jodie doesn’t already seem totally disconnected from reality, she also likens the drama around Gibson…to the  media debacle surrounding the attempted assassination of President Reagan, which was done for Foster’s benefit. Look, Jodie, if we all agree to still see your movie despite Gibson’s prominent role, would you please stop talking like you’ve lost your mind. Oh really? Great! We assumed so.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Report: Mel Gibson And Oksana To Drop Dueling Lawsuits

Whether Mel Gibson pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery on Friday to protect his kids from the embarrassment of a trial or save his film career, it’s pretty clear he’ll go apocalpyto on anyone who tries to drag him back into court. When word got out over the weekend that ex-girlfriend/battery victim Oksana Grigorieva was planing a civil suit against Gibson, TMZ sources made it clear that he would return the gesture in kind, with Mel counter-suing for extortion.

While it’s noteworthy that the state has yet to charge Oksana for allegedly demanding millions to keep violent, racist audio tapes of Mel from the public, Mel was also only charged for the slapping incident he’d previously confessed to—not for Oksana’s more dramatic claims of abuse. With Mel allegedly uninterested in settling out of court, even hoping to remove Oksana’s custody of their daughter Lucia, it looks like that long, drawn-out court case he wanted to avoid could happen after all.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Mel Charged With Misdemeanor Battery

We’re sorry, Mel Gibson. Charlie Sheen has been taking up so much of our time, we almost forgot about the original celebrity nut bar. Finally, one million years after the fact, Mel Gibson was charged with simple misdemeanor battery, TMZ reports. Earlier this week they found out that Gibson took a plea deal, which knocked the charge down from felony domestic violence in exchange for his plea of no contest. The charge is based on allegations that Gibson slapped Oksana Grigorieva during a heated argument. Hmm, an A-lister acts erratically, hits his domestic partner, and accused of anti-Semitism. It’s like we’re in the middle of watching the sequel to the worst movie in the world!

With the plea bargain in place, Mel will not face jail time. Meanwhile, Oksana will not be charged with felony extortion. Between the case and Mel and Oksana’s on-going custody issues, we just hope Mel doesn’t start acting a fool again. We can really only deal with one celebrity metldown at a time. We mean, even Lohan is taking a backseat to Sheen, and Lindsay’s in court practically every day.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Mel Gibson To Plead Guilty To Hitting Oksana?

Our irony sensors are flying into the red. TMZ says that Mel Gibson may plead guilty to misdemeanor domestic violence for hitting ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, not because he thinks he’s the guilty party (Mel wants Oksana charged with extortion), but because he’s “agonizing” over the idea of putting his family through a drawn-out court battle. Call us cynical, but this sounds like a load of bull. We’re to believe that Mel makes antisemitic remarks to everyone from the cops to Winona Ryder, calls female police officers “sugar tits”, and knocks up his mistress behind the back of his wife of over 20 years, but defending his honor in court is just too much humiliation to put his seven (sorry, now eight) children through? Riiiight.

No matter how he justifies it, taking a plea might not be a bad idea—the sooner he gets past his legal battles with Grigorieva, the sooner he can stop embarrassing the producers of his unreleased films like The Beaver and How I Spent My Summer Vacation. Considering the damage he’s already inflicted on his family, we wonder if its Hollywood he’s worried about scandalizing any further.

UPDATE: TMZ says Mel Gibson has indeed struck a plea deal, which will keep him from seeing any jail time. “Mel’s priority throughout all of this has been that the best interests of his young daughter Lucia and the rest of his children be put first in any decisions made,” said his lawyer. “It is with only that in mind that he asked me to approach the District Attorney with a proposal that would bring all of this to an immediate end.” Way to plead innocent and guilty at the same time, guys.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Mel Gibson’s The Beaver Delayed, Divorce Delayed As Well

Somehow we don’t think this has anything to do with Awards Season 2012. Mel Gibson‘s The Beaver has been pushed back yet again, with the long-shelved movie now set to be released in May. Reportedly, the change was to fit director Jodie Foster‘s schedule—she’s shooting the movie adaptation of Tony winner God Of Carnage—but odds were the studio didn’t mind putting this one off at all. Mel, too—the guy still has to settle a custody battle with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva and, oh yeah, finally divorce his wife!

Yes, Mel managed to meet, knock up and violently break up with his mistress without actually finalizing his divorce from long-time wife Robyn Gibson. “I guess he’s too busy with the Oskana Grigorieva case to worry about the divorce from Robyn,” a source told Radar. “They keep getting continued, and they’re not expected to be back in court until at least April, now.” Due to the lack of a pre-nup, Robyn could wind up with a solid half of Mel’s alleged billion dollar fortune. Considering the other stuff he has to work out, Mel might just want to throw over the cash already. Personally, we wouldn’t miss $500 million if we still had another $500 million to play with.

[Photo: FilmMagic]

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Someone Stole Mel Gibson’s Copy Of The Beaver!

Looks like someone couldn’t wait two months to see Mel Gibson‘s The Beaver. Police are investigating the disappearance of a DVD copy of the film, due in late March, that Summit Entertainment gave to the actor. Mel reportedly placed the disc in his mailbox this morning for a messenger to take back to the studio, only to have it go missing before the staffer arrived. Look on the bright side guys, must be nice to know after all Mel’s abuse drama that at least one person is anticipating the Jodie Foster-directed flick.

One person we can probably take off the suspect list is Jude Law. According to the Enquirer, Law is upset that his Sherlock Holmes 2 co-star Robert Downey Jr. still claims to “love” Gibson despite his violent, racist outbursts (Gibson produced—and paid the insurance bond for—The Singing Detective, RDJ’s first film after his notorious meltdown). RumorFix got Robert’s rep to slap the rumor (“Robert and Jude are still sleeping together. Sorry to disappoint the Enquirer”), but after Mel’s Hangover 2 cameo controversy, it wouldn’t be the first sign that Hollywood is having a civil war over Mel.

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Oksana’s Bodyguard Denies Mel Abused Her, Calls Her A “Sexual Sorceress”

You won’t have Kristian Herzog to bewitch anymore, Oksana Grigorieva! Calling Mel Gibson‘s babymama a “sexual sorceress,” her former bodyguard told TMZ that she admitted the actor never punched her—let alone beat Oksana during sex. Contradicting what she told police, Herzog says Oksana told him Mel’s only physical violence towards her was the slapping incident he already confessed to (Mel says she was shaking the baby at the time).

Claiming he had an affair with Oksana, Herzog also says she taped Mel’s violent rants in order to extort money from him, though he doesn’t deny that Mel said all the disgusting, racist stuff she recorded. Oksana’s lawyers refused to comment, though she denies having slept with this champ. As disgusting as we find this whole thing, we must confess we’re just a little curious what qualifies as sexual sorcery. Maybe the hot tub Mel got so worked up about was her cauldron.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Oksana Grigorieva Claims Mel Gibson Beat Her During Sex

melgibsonoksana

It’s been a while since we’ve wanted to take our eye balls out and scrub them down with bleach, but here we are again after reading news that allegedly Mel Gibson beat Oksana Grigorieva during sex in order to get in the mood. TMZ reports that, while giving a deposition under oath, Grigorieva revealed that Gibson would strike her in order to get past his problems getting aroused. Where is that bleach bottle when we need it? Oh here it is…OH NO IT’S EMPTY.

Mel’s ex gave the testimony as part of Oksana’s ongoing custody battle with Gibson over their daughter Lucia. Supposedly Oksana did not bring up the allegations in her pre-trial interviews with the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department, nor at any point prior did she mention them in relation to threats of violence Mel had reportedly made. Considering that it makes us gag to even read that claim, we understand why she would have hesitated in saying it out loud. That being said, the fact that Gibson had his visitation rights extended last month make us wonder how many more terrible things will come to light during their time in court…and how many of them can be verified.

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TheFABLife’s “Least Likely To Be Nominated” Awards

Benicio Del Toro, Dakota Fanning and Jake Gyllenhaal

By now we have a good sense of who’s going to be taking home trophies this year, so let’s take a moment to acknowledge those who won’t even get to dream of it. Our unlucky 13 Least Likely To Be Nominateds below don’t exactly represent the worst movies and performances of 2010. Instead, we’re spotlighting award-aspiring belly floppers (like the allegedly edgy Dakota Fanning), former winners doing their best to avoid seeing a podium again (hi, Adrien Brody) and cinematic efforts that left us wondering what reward those involved did think was coming. Check out the gallery to see who should only expect a Razzie nomination (ok, and maybe a Teen Choice Award) at best.

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