We feel like we just ate a hearty meal…of celebrity zingers! Much like the food that bares their name, sometimes zingers are all you need to feel satisfied. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler certainly know what we’re talking about, what with all the A-list riffing they served up at tonight’s Golden Globes. Of course, plenty of other celebs got in on the action, too: Sacha Baron Cohen ripped on Russell Crowe, Aziz Ansari cracked wise about Downton Abbey, Jodie Foster, um, went after Honey Boo Boo. Really. Seriously. If you like the sound of that, you’re going to love our 17 Best Golden Globes quotes (in addition to our 7 Best Zingers from the Golden Globes opener!):
Guys, today is the day Magic Mike comes out and changes our lives forever. Okay probably not, but we do get to see Channing Tatum strip on the big screen, and that still feels pretty important. Despite the way everyone woman (and, let’s be honest, man) is foaming at the mouth to see Alex Pettyfer and the gang take if off this weekend, it turns out Magic Mike is only the most recent in a long line of awkward, dramatic, sexy, humiliating moments in male movie nudity. From Jason Segel‘s weepy reveal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall to basically every movie Ewan McGregor has ever done, enjoy what we consider to be the top 10 moments in cinematic dude nakedness. Though…aren’t they all pretty excellent? Warning: There will be butts.
The 65th annual Cannes Film festival kicked off in high style today, as celebs from all around the world descended to the coastal town with their finest clothes and accessories. Eva Longoria and Diane Kruger both made big entrances in huge Cinderella gowns with trains that could stretch all the way to Paris! Jessica Chastain’s dress was a little more streamlined, but definitely drew attention with a plunging neckline. The dudes cleaned up pretty nicely as well, with action stars Bruce Willis and Chris Pine rockin’ the tuxes, but Sacha Baron Cohen (predictably) stole the show when he rode down the red carpet in full Dictator regalia while on the back of a camel. Sure it’s pretty in-your-face, but at least it’s better than drowning Elisabetta Canalis for publicity, right? We’ll go with yes. Check out more incredible styles in the gallery below!
As The Avengers kick off summer movie season today with a bang or two (or 100), it’s easy enough to forget that blockbusters aren’t just about men in tights, showing off their massive CGI effects. On some of those sweltering days, you don’t want to step into a theater to worry about the fate of the world; you want to laugh your ass off. We’ve already looked at the ladies doing their part to make the season hilarious, and now it’s time for us to decide which of these sexy funnymen will be the sexiest and funniest at the multiplex from May through August.
This year, we have some double threats — the guys who will make us laugh and fan ourselves: Tom Cruise radiates sex as rock god Stacee Jaxx in Rock of Ages, Matthew McConaughey sells it as strip-club owner Dallas in Magic Mike, and Mark Wahlberg hides it beneath a manchild exterior as John, the guy who tries to let go of his talking teddy bear in Ted. There are also the funny guys we crush on, no matter how goofy their characters, like Russell Brand as the narrator of Rock of Ages and Andy Samberg as Adam Sandler’s unfortunate son in That’s My Boy. There are the comedians we’d kind of like to take home to mom — Ed Norton and Jason Schwartzman in Moonrise Kingdom, Ben Stiller and Jonah Hill in Neighborhood Watch, Steve Carell in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Chris Rock in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell in The Campaign. And then there are the bad boys we’d keep secret about, Vince Vaughn in Neighborhood Watch and Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator.
Sorry, Snow White. Nothing personal, Thor. Of course we still love you, the Batman. We always will. It’s just that when it comes to summer movies, we love a glowering villain as much as we love a virtuous hero. Maybe a little more. Maybe … a lot more.
Luckily for us (and you!), this summer’s films are jam-packed with some of the most malevolent evil characters imaginable, ready to face off against the hottest heroes and heroines from May to August. Tom Hiddleston reprises his Thor role as power-hungry extraterrestrial Loki in this week’s The Avengers, while Flight of the Concords’Jemaine Clement breaks Will Smith‘s stride as an easy-riding alien by the name of Boris in Men in Black III. Closer to home (and to your childhood nightmares), Queen Charlize Theron goes after Kristen Stewart‘s heart (not in the romantic way) in Snow White and the Huntsman, while Eva Green does the same to Johnny Depp (in both the romantic and evil way?) as smitten witch Angelique Bouchard in Dark Shadows.
Of course, not every memorable villain has to be from another planet or or the fairy-tale realm. Some of them can be regular ol’ criminal masterminds, like Salma Hayek‘s drug kingpin Elena in Savages, Faran Tahir‘s Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Bryan Cranston‘s Vilos Cohaagen in the Total Recall remake and Edward Norton‘s Byer in The Bourne Legacy. We are especially psyched to see Tom Hardy‘s Bane grapple the Caped Crusader in The Dark Knight Rises while Rhys Ifans takes on Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spider-Man. Because what’s an epic battle scene with out an epic villain? A 15-second slap fight?
Not that every villain has to be locked in life-or-death combat, mind you. Some of them are just maniacally vain. Sacha Baron Cohen‘s General Aladeen in The Dictator, anyone? Catherine Zeta-Jones‘ high-strung Patricia Whitmore will also be inflicting all the damage she can against the demon that is rock in Rock of Ages, while Adam Sandler only accidentally ruins his son Andy Samberg‘s wedding/marriage/life. That being said, if you somehow get your only child to throw up on his fiance’s wedding dress … yeah, you’re the bad guy.
Finally, we have to give props to those villains who don’t even come in a humanoid package. We are dying to see what the surprisingly awesome-looking Battleship aliens look like under their masks (Weird eyes? Check! Four-fingered hand? Check!), and we’re all ready to take our hats off to the Piranhas 3DD piranhas. Not only are they blood-thirsty, they are also responsible for Ving Rhames‘ character having machine gun legs. What aren’t villains good for? Which big bad has your ticket-buying hands shaking with anticipation this summer? Check out our gallery of villainy, and cast your vote. Just remember: When it comes to picking a favorite archnemesis, there is no wrong choice.
It seems that Sacha Baron Cohen‘s character in The Dictator, Admiral General Aladeen, has only succeded in pissing off a lot of people ever since the role was conceived. He was almost banned from the Oscars after the Academy got wind that he was going to walk the red carpet as the Admiral. Right after his ban got lifted, Sacha did indeed get into his Dictator avatar and ended up dumping “Kim Jong II‘s ashes” on Ryan Seacrest‘s jacket. Did people find that funny? No. Does Sacha/General Aladeen care? No. Because he’s not going to stop. This was evident in his latest stunt at Sydney Airport. He didn’t throw ashes at anyone this time, just in case you think that’s where we’re going.
Instead, Cohen’s General Aladeen got off the plane in a tracksuit with his military epaulets, natch, along with his bevy of beauties and they pretty much took over the airport. This happened earlier today. Talk about staying in character, huh? We find the fact that Cohen-Aladeen is holding a duty free bag rather hilarious. But in the face of all the (mostly negative) publicity he’s been getting from his stunts, do you think this latest move is hilarious … or tacky?
Sacha Baron Cohen vowed to bring his personal brand of evil hilarity to the Oscars tonight after having his Oscar ban lifted, sashaying down the red carpet in character as the madcap despot from his upcoming film The Dictator. Cohen did his best to deliver on his insidious vow, going so far as to dump “Kim Jong Il‘s ashes” on Ryan Seacrest‘s tuxedo on his way into the Kodak Theatre. Unfortunately, the comedian’s promotional prank might have backfired, as everyone and their mother seemed to have greeted his silliness with groans and eye rolls rather than chuckles. And no, they were not groans and eye rolls of hysterical laughter…
We almost didn’t want to write this one, people. Because honestly, for the first time in as long as we can remember, there were no completely egregious fails on the Oscars red carpet tonight. No gowns made out of garbage bags, no inappropriate body parts hanging out, no missing undergarments. So what follows is a list of the people whose outfits were less than than the spectacular fashions we’ve come to expect from their kind. We think we might be struck down on our very couch for daring to criticize Meryl Streep, but that gold material looks more suited for a downtown cabaret backdrop. And Melissa McCarthy, you know we love you. But we wish you would dress to show off your curves, not drape them in bags. Also, it’s really hard for men to make this list, but we’re giving an honorary mention to Bradley Cooper and his silly mustache. You are not a Williamsburg hipster form 2010, you are the Sexiest Man Alive. Now please shave.
Of course, this is just our humble opinion. Peruse the gallery below and defend or attack as you please in the comments below!
Sacha Baron Cohen is not happy about his potential Oscars ban, but it seems that Admiral General Aladeen is even more enraged than he. “On behalf of the nation of Wadiya, I am outraged at being banned from the Oscars by the Academy of Motion Pictures of Arts and Zionists,” Cohen’scharacter from The Dictator rants in his new video. The comedian also takes a swipe at Hilary Swank for attending the birthday of Chechnyan President and alleged human rights violator Ramzan Kadyrov. We never thought we’d say this but: burn, Hilary Swank!
“While I applaud the Academy for taking away my right to free speech,” Cohen continues. “I warn you that if you do not lift your sanctions and give me my tickets back by 12 p.m. on Sunday, you will face unimaginable consequences.” We are praying this means the comedian will try to take the red carpet anyway; he’s the only person alive who has the guts to intentionally horrify Meryl Streep. Also intentionally horrifying? Cohen’s past movie-related pranks. Take a walk down Memory Lane to revisit the Borat star’s finest stunts, and see how his Oscars prank is measuring up so far. Just so you know: at the end of Memory Lane is Bruno in a skin-tight knit naked suit. With built-in pubes. You have been warned!
Update: According to Deadline, the Academy has decided to allow Cohen to bring general chaos to the Oscars red carpet with his Dictator stunt after all. “Does Sacha need a changing room?,” the Academy allegedly asked the comedian’s reps this afternoon. No, but his armed guards, camels and manservants might!
Hoo boy! We’ll happily admit that we’ll be first in line to see Sacha Baron Cohen‘s The Dictator on opening night, but seriously…hoo boy. Unlike his previous adventures in hilarity Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan and Brüno, both of which featured one oddball character against the world, The Dictator trailer seems to determined to depict pretty much everyone as a total moron, not least of all the leader himself. Cohen’s happy tyrant seems to be a little bit Saddam, a little bit Gaddafi, and a whole lot of upper man thigh. After watching the trailer, here is just a preliminary list of the groups that will likely be offended by Cohen’s latest:
People intimidated by too much flair!
Fans of nattily trimmed facial hair!
Haters who thought Megan Fox had no sense of humor about herself!
Gun safety advocates!
Those who thought there was no way Cohen could do anything more outlandish than Brüno‘s Straight Dave’s Ultimate Fighting scene! You know the one!