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Jarvis Gets Bubbly In The Elevator With Colbie Caillat

-By JARVIS!

OMG OMG Colbie Caillat??? WHHHAATTT! I mean I feel like it was just the other day that I was sitting all alone in my room, sobbing to her hit song “Bubbly,” and dreaming of a chance to stalk her one day…..wait…that was actually the other day, which means dreams really do come true!!! I could just cry!

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No, Kara DioGuardi! No!

kara

We’ve always been critical of Kara DioGuardi on American Idol because she tends to mug for the camera and flirt obnoxiously and basically act like an unpleasant person, despite her knack for writing catchy pop songs. Basically she rubs us the wrong way, which is why it grosses us out to see her pose for Maxim wearing next to nothing and now, posing for Allure in literally nothing. Perhaps what freaks us out most about this shot is that to us it looks like she’s in diaper-changing pose, her bare, waxed butt is just so IN OUR FACE. DioGuardi explained that her photo session “was less about beauty than about taking a risk and showing people a side of me they have never seen.” Indeed.

And we’re all for tastefully done nude shots, by the way – the accompanying photos, seen here on  the Allure site,  of Emmanuelle Chriqui, Jessica Capshaw, Regina Hall and Colbie Caillat don’t bother us one bit. We might have to address our DioGuardi issues with a therapist soon, it’s becoming a problem.

[Photo: Popeater/Allure]