by Liz Black

Stop Holding Your Breath, The Hootie And The Blowfish Memorial Statue Is Finally Happening!

Guys, all our hard work and grueling campaigning has paid off! We’re finally getting a Hootie statue!!

Seminal(?) ’90′s rock(?) band Hootie And The Blowfish will have a monument erected in their honor in Columbia, S.C. next month. And friends, it is enormous. The black granite sculpture is apparently 20 feet long, 10 feet wide and at least 12 feet tall. We’re talking 2,400 cubic feet of Hootie. It is scheduled to be unveiled on October 21 in the Five Points neighborhood near the University Of South Carolina, which is also where notorious nineteenth century South Carolina gangster Bill the Butcher developed his secret barbecue rub and murdered anyone who got in his way. (Who doesn’t love Gangs Of New York jokes nestled in a Hootie post? Right?)

This makes us think, if Hootie can get a statue, who else from the 90s deserves a permanent tribute? Why haven’t we seen the Semisonic “Closing Time” Shrine? The Candlebox Commemorative Plaque? A literal Temple Of The Dog? We might just have to go on a hunger strike until these ideas come to fruition.

by Kate Spencer (@katespencer)

Hootie & The Blowfish Rock Ex-Wife Love Triangle

Hootie & the Blowfish are remembered for two things: making millions off of their dull, G-rated 90′s rock music and being totally goody-goody and scandal free. But oh, how both those things have changed! We came across this little tidbit today and couldn’t resist posting it: apparently drummer Jim Sonefeld (aka the long-haired awkward dude) just married the ex-wife of guitarist Mark Bryan (the curly-haired awkward dude). A-ma-zing.

The band officially broke up in August, 2008, which means that Jim was probably boning Mark’s ex while playing alongside him in the band. Lead singer Darius Rucker - who’s now a big star on the country scene - recently said about their split: “There are some things going on with Hootie,” which could totally be a reference to the wife-swap. But really, Jim just wants to love Mark’s wife the best that, the best that he can. We should probably lay off.