Have we really not had a truly epic VMA beef since Kanye went totally Kanye and snatched Taylor Swift‘s mic in 2009? How time flies. Tonight the MTV VMAs honor those artists who have crafted a truly superior piece of visual art to accompany their music. But a well-crafted celebrity feud? Well, that’s even harder to come by. So we went ahead and predicted some fantasy VMA celebrity feuds for them, just to get the ball rolling! It’s like using The Secret, except you probably shouldn’t use The Secret to have someone yank out Lana Del Rey’s weave…
We do not know why this is happening, but it’s a sad day in music history. Jack White is going to produce Insane Clown Posse’s new release. Jack White. ICP. Together. WHY, God, why? They’ve also roped in JEFF the Brotherhood (from Nashville) as their backing band on a track that’s an interpretation of a little-known Mozart piece called Leck Mich Im Arsch. Which translates to “Lick me in the arse”. Who knew Mozart was so saucy? This is seriously, the weirdest story we’ve posted in a LONG time.
White and ICP’s version, according to their press release, melds “Mozart’s melody and lyrics sung in operatic German with ICP’s poignant lyrical addition in English and Jeff the B’s monster-riffs” and will be out September 13. In case you’re interested, the B-side of the single is called Mountain Girl which has ICP rapping about about their version of a sedentary country life. You know — shotgun weddings, meth addiction, moonshine and the like. Check out their teaser video which informs us that we’ve been waiting for this collaboration as it’s been “230 years in the making.”
Can anyone get us into Jack White and Karen Elson divorce party? Oh wait, the invitation says “no plus ones or dead beats.” Since we’re both, looks like we’ll have to find out about the party like everyone else in America: from the personal invitation leaked to the press, which reads: “In honor of that time shared, we are throwing a divorce party. An evening together in Nashville to re-affirm our friendship and celebrate the past and future with close friends and family.” We’d like to think this could happen with more couples, but the only “throwing” most people associate with their divorce is someone “throwing” their entire DVD collection out of the window into the snow.
Said the former White Stripes singer and his soon-to-be ex-wife in their official statement, “We remain dear and trusted friends and co-parents to our wonderful children Scarlett and Henry Lee. We feel so fortunate for the time we have shared and the time we will continue to spend both separately and together watching our children grow.” So it looks like it’s onto the next step in any failed relationship: forming a wildly successful two-person alt-rock phenomenon!